It’s good to put others first sometimes. But not all of the time. And not at the expense of honouring who you are. I see this a lot, women making themselves a bit smaller and a bit less important so that others can feel bigger. Accompanied by lots of messages and notes to self like ‘don’t show off’, ‘don’t get too big for your boots’, ‘stop drawing attention to yourself’ and if that doesn’t work ‘who am I to…’ – fill in your own blank. If those around us require us to shine less brightly for their own ends then it’s time to find new people around us, or at the very least to educate them as to why that’s neither necessary or possible. And if it’s just something we are telling ourselves then we need to change the message.