Aha! Jokes > Fun Pages > Signs That You're Too Drunk!
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24. You lose arguments with objects.
23. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
22. Your Job is interfering with your drinking.
21. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
20. Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
19. You sincerely believe alcohol to be the 5th food group.
18. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? - I think not!
17. Two hands and just one mouth... - now that's a drinking problem!
16. You can focus better with one eye closed.
15. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
14. Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.
12. Hey, five beers has just as many calories as a burger, forget dinner!
10. At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
9.Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
7.You think Three Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, and Alcohol.
5.Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
4.That pink elephant followed you home again.
3.You're as jober as a sudge.
2.You wake up screaming "TORO TORO TORO!" in the middle of the night.
1.Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops!