As you’re probably already aware yourself, it’s starting to get a little colder and a little darker. I try to find enjoyment in all the seasons we’re graced with in the UK, but what I love most when it starts to get like this is something very simple. Candles.
I don’t care about the ones that smell nice, or colourful ones or anything silly like that. I just love the light. Don’t get me wrong, you can light candles in the summer, or even buy a lamp for the winter. But we’re in bed by 9pm pretty much every night as part of our bedtime routine (there’s a blog post in the making) so we’re hardly going to light them when the suns still up. And a lamp doesn’t have the warmth of a candle. And besides, there’s something to fire that resonates with our inner caveman (or caveperson for the genderless terminology).
Now, what I love most about candles is simply having them control the ambience of the room. Screw the TV. When it hits around 8pm, we knock the TV off, chuck on the Bluetooth speaker, and chill out to some music, a nicely lit room and the wonders of each others company.
It’s a lost art form these days. Go into someone’s house in the evening and chances are people are sat around the TV set. Don’t get me wrong, we’re guilty of it too, but for some, it’s a ritual. People these days struggle to function without the TV on in the living room, but for us, we try to watch as little of it as we can.
So my advice for this week is simple. Pick one night, just one, and at 8pm (or an hour before you go to bed) just chill out with the candles going and some music in the background. For me, I prefer live music as it adds to the feel of the room. We tend to also go soft (throw some jazz on if you want), with acoustic stuff.
I love it when we do this. It gives me and Rachel a great chance to just sit there and talk. We’re almost ten years into our relationship now, and I love the fact that it still excites me that just sitting there and talking for an hour with her is still that enjoyable and goes by that fast. I’ll make this relatable to having a baby, since this is a baby blog, by saying the following: the best way to grow a happy, loving child is to simply focus on your relationship with your partner. It must have worked, as Isabelle fell asleep on me, which is something she very rarely does, excuse the poor quality picture, but it was lit by candle light.
I’m not going to sit here and preach about relationships, and I’m certainly not going to say the only way to raise a happy, functional baby is to have them surrounded by parents who love each other. No, that would be silly. But what I will say is to enjoy each others company as much as you can. You don’t need distractions to help you, just sitting there together, and then eventually sitting there with the child too, is a great way to connect as a family, and it’s something that’s getting further and further lost in modern life.
I don’t ask a lot of the people who read this blog. But this week I will. Please just give this a go. There’s so much more to life than what most of us experience. This is just a simple, but amazing way of resetting yourself, connecting with your partner or family and absorbing yourself in something real.
In the unlikely event that you actually give this a go, please feel free to share it with me via Facebook or Twitter, if you want to of course. You don’t have to share it as you’re doing it, the point of this whole thing is to not be on your phone too much during this time.