What do you do when you’ve had your quiet time, prayed, and you come away with a sense that you’ve basically gotten nothing from the Lord for the day? This is a question I wanted to tackle because it is my guess that just about every Christian has mornings like this.
First of all, let’s address this from the sin point of view. If we are in known sin from which we have yet to repent - this will be the norm. If we think we’re going to have a wonderful time alone with God when we are in conscious known sin, we are kidding ourselves. The Word of God is very clear on this matter. “If I regard wickedness in my heart, the Lord will not hear.” (Psalm 66:18) Not only will He not hear - but usually when He speaks - it will only be to deal with the area of rebellion until repentance is embraced. Something I feel the necessity of saying is that He does this because He loves us. Scripture says God disciplines those He loves. But when this is ruled out we are still left wondering why it seemed like God did not do anything at all in our time alone with Him.
Second, let’s address this from the emotions point of view. We all want emotions - at least when we think that they are going to be good. But life is not a series of incredible emotions that are guaranteed every day. The emotion with which I loved my wife on my wedding day and subsequent honeymoon was a very high point in our marriage. The emotion we had at the birth of each of our six children was a high point in life. The emotions I had when I went up to preach my very first sermon to Calvary Chapel was a high point. But there have been many days as a husband, father, and pastor that were not equally as high. In fact, to wonder why every day isn’t that high, emotionally speaking, is ridiculous. I still love my wife - love my children - and love the congregation I pastor when I have average emotional days - and even when I have bad and horrible days emotionally. That is called living. Too often we paint the Christian life as one high after another - or like some kind of trip to an amusement park with thrill ride after thrill ride. That is a disservice to others on this path. A normal person has a normal range of emotions - up, down, and often - somewhat blah at times. To have a continuous high cheapens who we are to be in Christ. Jesus knew highs and lows and everything in between. To have a somewhat blah-zay time alone with God is not horrifically abnormal. This takes me to the third thing we need to consider.
Third there is the matter of faithfulness. Sherie and I do not have daily earth-shattering conversations. Most days we talk - and it is fairly normal, run of the mill, how was your day honey - kind of conversations. Because there is not a rush of emotion every time we speak does not make me doubt either her love for me or my love for her. We are faithful in really emotional times - and in times when the emotions don’t run as high. One of the things we need to remember is that God wants us to be faithful to Him. Therefore, when we have a really average time alone with God, or worse, a series of those average times - do we stop making time to be alone with God? The only way to build faithfulness in a life - is for there to be times when little more than faithfulness is why we keep going. We have things we value - regardless of whether they come with daily warm fuzzies or not. I value God - and value the relationship He has given to me through Jesus Christ. Whether I leave my time alone with Him high as a kite - or feeling very “non-feeling” will have no effect on whether I will continue to seek Him in the future. I seek Him BECAUSE I love Him - and I love Him because He first loved me. He values faithfulness - therefore I, too, will value it - with Him - with my wife - with my children - and with God’s saints. Truly - valuing faithfulness helps often with reaching out to the lost - because very often I get little back in response at first when sharing the gospel. But God calls me to love them and to share His Word with them - which requires (shocker alert) faithfulness.
The silence of God disturbed David - it spiritually freaked him out. He wondered where God was. He had a longing to see God’s face. He desired God’s counsel - and the way that God would enlighten his eyes like He previously had in days gone by. He looked at how his being shaken in his confidence in God would cause those who hate God to rejoice. Now, I have to confess that I purposely left out verses 5-6 of this Psalm. David was shaken somewhat by what he thought was God’s absence - or at least disinterest in fellowship with him. In a way I believe that this was by design. The design behind it was for David to see how futile life was without God. The design was for David to recognize that there was no other God for him but Jehovah. That threw him even more dependent and needy upon God. Such words are not written because a person is disinterested in God or had an apathy about his or her spiritual life. These are the words of the true believer who is “desperate for God!” Peter spoke such words in John 6 when he said, “Where else can we go? You alone have the words of life!” Now I’ll share the rest of Psalm 13.
David goes from despair to trust - i.e. faith! One can almost hear him lifting these words to the heavens. “I’ve trusted your covenant-love.” Even as he lifts them there - he speaks them also to himself deep within his heart. This first phrase speaks of God’s covenant with Israel - and later His covenant with David. God made promises - and He WILL keep them. David turns from emotion to the Word. He turns from feelings to faith. I have trusted in Your promises. But next David says, “My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation” He turns from God’s promises to God’s prior works. He remembers the salvation of God - how God worked in him and he again shouts to the heavens, “I’ve trusted what You promised - and I will choose to rejoice in what You’ve done.” It is wise in our blah moments to remember the mercies and grace of God given to us in salvation. As we remember His salvation - we need to speak it to our heart - and speak it with our heart as well. Then David finishes with a song. “I will sing to Jehovah, because He has dealt bountifully with me.” Please note that exclamation points are not used here. I’m glad they were not - because I believe David is not speaking from excess emotion within himself. He is speaking truth TO himself. Remember what God has both promised and done requires singing. But what if we don’t feel like singing? Sing anyway, because deep down that is probably what David was doing. He sang of how Jehovah had dealt “bountifully” with him. The word for “bountifully” is the Hebrew word “gamal” which means to recompense or to bring to a good completion. But it can also mean, “to wean.” It was this meaning that grabbed me when thinking of my dry, blah moments in my time alone with God. There are times when what God is doing is weaning us from the constant call for an emotional experience. The child who is weaning may feel that he or she is getting a raw deal. There was plenty of food and a nearness - even an intimacy with mom involved. Where has that gone? But the mother is not removing love from the child - she is preparing the child for a thousand different foods to come. We need to grasp that at times our loving Father in heaven is weaning us from the glut of “feelings” so that we can be ready for mature food. We are being moved from milk to meat.
Also - when these times come - God is allowing us to do what is truly in our hearts. That can be a painful moment - if all you have in your heart is “religious obligatory practices” and not a deep love of God. In those moments many turn away from God. If this is how it is going to be - I’ll just go somewhere else! That is a statement made by someone who has yet to be ruined by God. They have been ruined by God so that nothing else satisfies except God. His silences - or even our lousy quiet times can remind us of this. I am not here to fulfill a checklist of religious obligatory practices! I am here to meet God! Since nothing but God Himself will satisfy that longing - I MUST HAVE HIM!
So - you’ve finished your time alone with God. You “feel” as if nothing has happened. You wonder why? Maybe its unconfessed sin - but that is not God’s only reason from allowing such a thing in your life. He loves you and wants you weaned from “emotionally-dependent Christianity” where life is one awesome experience to the next. He also loves you and wants to build faithfulness into your life. And He may love you enough to be weaning you from such things so that you can move on from milk so that you may begin partaking of the meat of the Word. Whatever it is - let Him drive you, not away from Himself, with such difficulties. Let them drive you further into His arms - further into His promises in His Word - and further into a relationship of trust and faith in His Son.
Saul’s sin began in such an inconspicuous way. He was faced with waiting on God in a difficult situation. He was supposed to wait on Samuel to come and offer a sacrifice as the Philistines gathered. When he was forced to wait longer - he chose not to do so and “forced himself” to offer up the sacrifice. This was something only the priests of the Lord were supposed to do. The real issue though was Saul having to wait on God when things were dicey and difficult. Please understand that I know that such times are what makes a man or woman of God - and that such trials are very hard to endure. But Saul failed miserably and decided he knew best what to do - and that waiting on God didn’t make sense when something needed to be done NOW (at least in his mind this was the case).
Sin grew in Saul when he was sent to destroy the Amalekites. Here was where Saul decided in his own mind that what God had said was forbidden and needed to be eliminated seemed harsh to him. He could save what looked good to him (regardless of what God said about it) and even use it to serve God - at least what was left over when he was done using it too. His real issue here was seeing things from God’s perspective - especially what God called sin and what He forbids. Saul wanted to define sin and what is forbidden himself. That redefinition was the cause of the kingdom being torn from him just as Samuel’s garment was torn when he tried to persuade Samuel to bless him rather than discipline him.
It was during this time that Saul began to watch David’s surrendered life begin to experience God’s favor. He sang to God in a way that made evil spirits run from the room. He faced down a giant who wound up face down and dead because of David’s trust in God. As this grew he looked at David first with suspicion, then with dread, then with a growing jealousy, and eventually with murderous rage. He tried every way he could to kill this godly upstart and keep himself king. He wasn’t going to wait on God to advance David - and surely Saul knew better than God who should be king and who shouldn’t be king. Interesting how our early “little sins” come back later much larger than we first estimated them to be?
Saul became quite the spear thrower during that time (he threw a lot of them - he just didn’t hit anything except the wall). He threw them at David in a jealous, murderous rage. He even threw them at his own son - when he threw in his lot with this horrible usurper of kingdoms! In fact, when we see him in 1 Samuel 22 - he is standing on a high place with a physical spear in his hand - and with verbal spears that he is about to lob at David and anyone who would dare support him.
“David won’t give you what I’ve given you!” he rages. “And after all I’ve done for you - none of you tells me my son made a covenant with this terrorist who lays in wait and conspires against me!” Saul works the crowd dishing out guilt like a Jewish mama working her son for something she wants. “None of you feels sorry for me,” he continues evidently making up for any lost pity by feeling very sorry for himself.
That is when it happened. Saul’s decision to play with sin rather than kill it, grew to full stature as Doeg the Edomite (by the way Edom is another type of the flesh and a way that is opposed to God’s way) told him that Ahimelech had helped David with bread and Goliath’s sword. Saul snapped, calling the priests before him with Ahimelech and interrogating them about how they were complicit in David’s plot to overthrow Saul and his kingdom. Ahimelech for his part though was no patsy - he confronted the king’s sinful madness by reminding him David has not been part of some plot. He has been beneficial to the king, killing Goliath, being Saul’s son-in-law, who was elevated to captain of your personal guard (by YOU!) and who is honored in your hose. He even let Saul know he was still his servant (which by the way so was David) and then said, “ . . . your servant knows nothing at all of this whole affair.” What is so very sad is David knew nothing of it either because the only place this plot existed was in Saul’s twisted mind.
The next thing Saul did I believe sealed his fate. He pronounced a death sentence upon godly Ahimelech the priest - and extended it to his entire family - women and children included. The blood then flowed like waters rushing down a stream. So virulent was Saul’s jealousy and hatred of David that even oxen, donkeys, and sheep were slaughtered.
This is where sin takes us. We think we are in control of what we consider a small thing in our lives. We think it is OK for us to think of a brother or sister in Christ with jealousy and suspicion - even a little resentment - and that it will never grow. But Saul is given to us as an example of where sin takes us. I heard a Baptist preacher one say, “Sin takes you where you don’t want to go - Keeps you longer than you want to stay - And costs you more than you want to pay!” How true that is in Saul’s life as his sin - when he thought he controlled it - began to take over and it controlled him. But that is the true nature of sin. It will only grow and become ever more malignant in your life. That is why we need to be circumspect and alert to any intrusion of sin into our lives, our mindset, or our ways. It is deadly. The wise man or women knows this and avoids it at all costs - and when it is discovered repents of it immediately and completely.