There I was slapping getting lost on purpose right on my vision board. It seemed counter congruent with what any of us wants, but nevertheless I knew it belonged there.
I’m a dreamer, a big dream person, who has spent years investing in dreams, because I can feel in my bones the tangible reality of invisible matter taking form. I can smell the air and see the colors. I have vision and ideas busting from the seams.
But what if those dreams are actually impotent, immaterial and things that could easily be pulled off with the right manpower? What if those dreams are in someway so much lesser than the dream that God just might be dreaming for me, or for you for that matter?
I’ve lived in the make it happen, take charge, direct your action world and found it sorely lacking. I’ve run along side the best of those living in the get out of my way I’ve got places to be and things to do mentality, until I discovered the hollowness of many a vision and dream I’ve had.
In fact, vision chasing landed me in a state of feeling lost, confused, empty and judging myself based on the success of a vision. That’s when I entered into the valley of Does any of this crap really matter and am I really going to judge my worth based on the success of a vision, the monetary value I receive and the, I made it happen club? Surely there would be more satisfaction from a vision that I could in no way make happen on my own, that I most likely didn’t dream up, but that found me lost in the woods trying to get out of the forest, a dream spirit powered and fueled.
Suddenly (no in actuality it was a long slow decent) I discovered that getting lost was a profound gift. I found that what mattered most, what remained after the pursuit of an ideal, goal, or dream was completed and had weathered with a brawny green glow, what remained and was or wasn’t sustained was relationship. I discovered that anything lacking true relationship was hollow and merely an illusion.
Everything will decay overtime, but what will remain is love. And love is fostered and shared through relationship. Anything void of relationship is a counterfeit in my book.
The landscape of many my age is scattered with the remains of lesser pursuits and void of relationships that nurture, build up, support and enliven one’s life.
What does this mean as we traditionally set goals and direct our intention for the New Year?
Instead of living from a place of lack thinking we need to accomplish such and such to feel good about ourselves, start with being enough right now, live from the overflow of being fully loved and accepted now and follow where your heart leads.
When we move out of “supposed to” and “importance acquiring” we will find that some of the things that matter to us are really the simplest of all and grace serves them up without strenuous effort on our part.
I will always be a big dreamer, a vision caster, igniter and activator, but my vision is not what fuels me any longer, but instead the love found in real, authentic, messy relationship. I'm sure I will continue to engage in many of my passions this year, but the aim is not in meeting a goal, but enjoying loving relationships with my family, friends and community.
My wish for you this New Year is that you will not settle for the lesser and forfeit the greater, but on your way to many a grand pursuit, you will get lost and find a surprise, a path greater than you’d ever known to look for. My wish is that you will find and nurture relationships.