We usually stick to showcasing weddings that took place in our beloved South, but when a bride goes to this much trouble to bring the South to her, well, we think that deserves a little love on Southern Weddings! Sarah’s Momma, who just so happens to own an antique shop in Texas, drove a UHaul full of vintage Southern goodness all the way out to California for her daughter’s wedding. The warm and cozy celebration that resulted was worth all the miles, as I think you’ll see. Michelle Warren’s lovely film images do an exquisite job of documenting the warm and cozy celebration that followed, helping us to see that yes, all those hours behind the wheel were well spent for Sarah + Dan!
My wedding dress was one of the first ones I tried on. I actually saw it in on a mannequin in the window of the bridal boutique and knew I had to try it on. It was the only one they had in stock, so I was embarrassed that I made the sales girl go into the window display and take it off the mannequin, but it was worth it. It was love at first sight!
I walked down the aisle to the love theme from Cinema Paradiso, a great, romantic Italian movie that we both love. We walked back up the aisle to “Married Life” from the Pixar movie, Up. It’s the song that plays during the first 10 minutes when they go through the timeline of the old couple’s relationship. It’s a very touching and poignant scene.
Do you love that Sarah and her Dad drove up to the ceremony in a lovingly restored 1940’s truck? We do!
What was your most memorable moment about your wedding day? Right after the ceremony, we had to drive back to the reception in the old pickup truck and had a moment alone to really absorb the moment and reflect.
Here’s some good news from Sarah for those of you painstakingly planning and constructing details (and sometimes wondering if anyone will notice): they will! My advice? Plan everything WAY in advance. Vendors get booked up far earlier than you would imagine. Also, make sure to add lots of personal touches. Your guests will really appreciate it.
And yes, there were beautiful details galore at this wedding! Renae’s Bouquet used local wildflowers and herbs along with roses and peonies for the arrangements and bouquets, and everything was arranged in vintage bottles and containers that Sarah’s mom sourced from flea markets in Texas (see: UHaul above!).
Wedding foosball — so fun!
We had a very simple carrot cake with some flower decorations as our wedding cake, but we had an amazing dessert buffet, with delicious mini cupcakes, pies, and my favorite giant chocolate chip cookies from a baker in Chicago!
How did the two of you meet? Tell us your story. We met in college in probably the most “college-y” way you can meet: over a game of beer pong. Instantly bonding over our love of drinking games and movies, we agreed to meet up in our film class the next day. Gradually, over the course of the school year, the friendship morphed into a romantic relationship.
Describe the proposal. Having dated for five years, including a period of cross-country long distance, it soon became clear that we were going to be together forever. Our common desire to work in entertainment brought us both to Los Angeles, where we now live and work. One of our favorite weekend trips is driving up to the Santa Ynez Valley, filled with amazing wineries, gorgeous scenery, and delicious food. On our five year anniversary, we decided to take a trip up to celebrate, and while picnicking, Dan popped the question! By the end of the weekend, we knew that they had to get married up there as well.
Our favorite detail of the wedding was: The location! We had guests coming in from all over the world, and everyone was impressed with the beautiful venue in the vineyards of the Central Californian Coast.
What Southern details or traditions did you include in your celebration? What was Southern about your wedding? Being from Texas, I had to have some type of BBQ at the wedding! We had three food stations: Texan food (brisket, onion rings, etc) for my upbringing, European food (Swiss and Spanish favorites) from Dan’s childhood, and Californian produce (from where we live now). More Southern details include the rustic feel of our barn reception, the 1940s Ford pickup truck that I drove up to the ceremony in and the line dancing!
What was the biggest challenge you had to overcome while planning your wedding? We had to bring in everything at the venue…even the bathrooms! Having the reception in the barn was great because it was a blank canvas to work with, but there were so many decisions to make since we had to bring everything in for the event. My mom brought in lots of great antiques and vintage details from Texas. She even drove a Uhaul out to California with all of her decorations!
What is the one thing you are most happy you splurged on? Food and wine! It was great to give our guests such a big selection, and they got to experience all of the delicious local produce and wines from the Central Coast area.
Did you write your own vows? If so, what was your favorite phrase, verse or line? Our ceremony was very personalized. We worked with the officiant and he incorporated our favorite traits about our spouse into the ceremony. We also wrote our own vows. I loved that we both reiterated how natural and organic our relationship has been. It has never felt like “hard work.” We just really enjoy each other’s company and everything that comes with that.
What readings, if any, did you have at your ceremony? The 1 Corinthians 13 passage that everyone has at their wedding because my parents used it as their wedding vows.
What’s next for you as a couple? What are you looking forward to in the future? We just bought a house! Looking forward to decorating, sprucing it up, and having lots of parties in our backyard this summer!
OH wow! this wedding is BEAUTIFUL. so so so beautiful. great way to start a Tuesday!
I loved this wedding. So perfect and colorful! All the details match so perfectly and that pink… rocks my world! Great choice!
Love the invitation! Super cute!
It’s that time again, y’all! Emily, Marissa and I are rounding up the highlights of March’s Real Weddings. We always love going back through our couples’ photos and picking out our favorite details. Of course, we want to know what you loved, too! Tell us below.
FAVORITE WEDDING DRESS: It was the ruffly tiers of Christina’s wedding gown that took Emily’s vote this month. Like Sarah, it was love at first sight for me when I saw her dress. The glamorous one-shoulder dress that Cee Cee rocked was absolutely up Marissa’s alley.
FAVORITE BRIDESMAID DRESS: Jessica’s bridesmaids’ dresses have been on Emily’s mind ever since we first saw photos of her wedding. For me, the uniform glam look that Cee Cee’s ‘maids wore immediately stole my attention. For Marissa, it was the slightly preppy and deep purple frocks that Rebecca’s bridesmaids wore that took the cake.
FAVORITE FEMALE ACCESSORY: Veils were all the talk in the office this month! Emily and Marissa agreed that Jessica’s fluffy veil was oh-so-chic. I, however, fell in love with Cee Cee’s dotted accessory.
FAVORITE MENSWEAR: I’m always impressed with the dapper gents on our blog. Marissa swooned over the seersucker suits at Meg + Jeremy’s wedding. I adored the yellow gingham bow ties at Alaina + Ryan’s wedding and Emily appreciated the monogrammed cummerbunds sported at K + T’s wedding.
FAVORITE DETAIL: It was the garden-chic food displays at Meghan + Michael’s wedding that caught Emily’s eye, while Marissa thought the hanging love notes at Christina + Scott’s were a sweet touch. I adored the colorful poms hanging off of Jessica + Derek’s getaway car!
FAVORITE CEREMONY: It was the clear blue sky, floral details and wrought iron altar from Sarah + Dan’s ceremony that won my heart. Marissa, taken by the gorgeous white chapel interior of K + T’s wedding, had to pick theirs as her favorite. Emily, always appreciative of the elegant and lovely, chose Rebecca + Colin’s ceremony.
FAVORITE BOUQUET: Marissa, always a lover of pink, couldn’t help but swoon over Christina’s lovely bouquet. I was torn on opposite sides of the spectrum, loving the bold colors of Brittany’s bouquet and the eclectic mix of blooms in Sarah’s. Emily loved the fall colors and mixed flowers in Meghan’s bouquet.
FAVORITE SWEET: The cascade of petals down Jessica + Derek’s white cake spoke to Marissa’s Southern tastes. The spiraling arrangement of lush blooms on Meghan + Michael’s cake was a no-brainer pick for Emily, while I was completely in love with K + T’s textured treat.
FAVORITE PHOTO: The photo of Sally + Dave dancing at their boat reception is so joyful, it was immediately my top pick. Emily and Marissa were romantics this month, choosing Christina + Scott’s lantern send-off and Rebecca + Colin’s sweet post-ceremony moment, respectively.
What do you think of these highlights from March’s Real Weddings? What details did you love?
View all of March’s weddings in our Real Weddings Galleries!
Hi, friends! Since this post is several years old now, we’ve gone ahead and updated it. Click here to find our updated guide to tipping wedding vendors!
As y’all know, I’m planning a wedding of my own (whoo!), and something that has befuddled me from day one is wedding tipping etiquette. There are so many different sources offering advice, and so many different dollar amounts recommended for so many different vendors at so many different times, that your head can start to spin long before you start separating cash out into envelopes.
Plus, when you’re already shelling out thousands of dollars per vendor, you might find yourself feeling, ahem, a little less than grateful at the thought of tipping on top of your final bill. Believe me, I completely understand! BUT, if you remember that tipping is never required, and should only be used to reward exemplary service, you might begin to feel a little differently.
In case you find yourself wanting to tip certain vendors, I’ve distilled advice from several different sources, including Emily Post, Martha Stewart, and my Momma, and then added in my own two cents. I also put together a handy tipping cheat sheet for us all, which you can download at the bottom of the post and tuck into your pocket come wedding day!
Finally, remember that while cash or a gift is always appreciated, a grateful spirit on your wedding day and a genuine, thoughtful thank you note after your wedding are quite possibly the best thank yous you can give your vendors.
Should I tip? If your planner owns her own business, then no tip is expected, since it’s not customary to tip the owner of a business. However, if you would like to recognize exemplary performance, a personal gift or check is an option.
When? We recommend sending a thank you note and your check or gift after you return from your honeymoon.
Should I tip? It’s a lovely gesture, especially if they were careful to set everything up to your specifications and without causing damage to the surroundings.
Should I tip? As most photographers and videographers own their own businesses, tipping is not expected or required in this case. Again, a personal gift is always a lovely touch.
Should I tip? Yes, this is one area where a gratuity is definitely expected. However, the owning-their-own-business exception is still in effect, so keep that in mind.
Should I tip? Check your contract, because a gratuity is usually included. If it’s not, then one is pretty much expected.
Should I tip? It isn’t necessary to tip religious officiants like a priest or minister (many of them, in fact, won’t accept cash tips). In lieu of a tip, a donation to their house of worship is a nice gesture. It’s not expected that you’ll tip a civil employee or non-religious officiant, either (and sometimes, in the case of civil employees, tipping can be illegal). For all officiants, a personal gift, such as a gift certificate to a nice restaurant, would certainly be appreciated.
Should I tip? This one’s definitely optional. If the string trio you hired has arranged or learned a particular song for you at no additional charge, then a tip might be a nice gesture.
Should I tip? It’s completely optional, but somewhat common. For bands that book their own gigs (i.e. separate from an entertainment agency), tipping is not customary.
Should I tip? Oh boy, this one’s the big guy. Yes, you should tip, but make sure a gratuity is not already included in your contract.
Now, as promised, my handy cheat sheet for tipping at your wedding – enjoy!
Jodi Miller, Josh McCullock, Melissa Schollaert, and Scobey Photography are fabulous members of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!
Emily, thank you for this post!!!! I have been meaning to look into tipping (along with a list of 20 other things) and have seen lots of different opinions that are all over the place! thank you for organizing all this into such a concise guide! I’m sure my vendors will appreciate it!
Hi Miss Jennifer! I’m SO glad this is helpful for you! And I completely know what you mean about being overwhelmed by all the different opinions – that’s why I sat down to write this post in the first place!
I’m so glad this was your newest etiquette topic! It gets so confusing and overwhelming, so it’s really nice to have this all in one place!
I do have any additional/situational question. We don’t have a specific wedding planner, but we do have a coordinator at our reception venue. A fee is automatically added on to our final bill for her services (in addition to the 20% gratuity added for all wait staff and bartenders). Do I need to tip her additionally?
Hi Kelsey! From my research, it seems like an on-site coordinator falls under the same category as maitre d’, catering manager, etc, so if she’s provided exemplary service or gone above and beyond for you, then I’d recommend a $100-$300 tip. However, I don’t think one is always necessary in this case.
Wedding vendor but the Florist.
Hi Justin! From my understanding, florists and cake bakers are also usually the owners of their own businesses, and since owners aren’t customarily tipped, y’all wouldn’t need advice on that :) But of course, if you felt your florist went above and beyond, by all means, include a little extra or a personal gift!
Great post, but I will have to disagree on the photography piece. Whether they own their own business or not, I think it should be determined by each situation. As a professional photographer who owns his own business, I worked many weddings without a break so I didn’t miss anything, skipped dinner because ” the wedding planner” thought it was a good idea to feed us last after the guests, which also happens to be the time that the bride and groom are done eating. Did I expect a tip? no but man it would have been a nice gesture given that I went above and beyond. Also nowadays, most wedding vendors own their own business including the wedding planners who are usually the highest paid to start with. If you are going to so generously tip them, it’s only fair to show us “the rest of the vendors” similar treatment.
Hi A! I completely respect your opinion, but I just have to say that I think a vendor should never be disappointed by not getting a tip, only happily surprised by getting one. Also, I don’t think whether or not a couple tips should be based on the size of the vendor’s fee, but on whether or not he or she provided truly exemplary service. Thanks for chiming in!
I was an event photographer for 14 years, having retired in December of 2011. What meant the most to me was not a tip but a decent meal and a break to enjoy it. Though I did greatly appreciate the handful of tips I received, a meal meant a lot more.
I have worked in several jobs within the wedding industry and I have to say that the wedding coordinator is probably the most underpaid job of all of them. The reason I say this is that they work for weeks, months and sometimes even a year with the bride and groom putting the wedding together. Many times, the DJ, bands and photographers make them same, if not more money for one night of work (photographers work more than one night however as they have to edit the photos). Not to say that the other vendors don’t work hard, but per hour, the wedding coordinator is the lowest on the totem pole for payment. If your planner goes above and beyond, especially if they own their own business, a tip is very appreciated. I can tell you that most planners put in atleast a 12-16 hour work day, not to mention the hectic week leading up to the wedding. It doesn’t feel so great to be handing out tips galore on behalf of the bride and groom to vendors who show up and work for 4-6 hours when you have slaved away and receive nothing. So it is not expected but really really appreciated.
I have sent this post to clients multiple times. Just wanted to say thanks for an easy to understand reference guide that I can keep coming back to!
A very thoughtful article that is personally appreciated. Being that I make most of my living from “contract” photography work these days (although I continue to have my own business presence), I feel obliged to add that many engaged couples are using national or regional companies to provide photography and videography services in the current market. In this case (and there are many since the prices of these companies are competitive and most business owners can’t compete in the “budget market”), I think you are inferring that a tip is appropriate. This is due to the fact that the photographer/videographer/DJ’s that work for these companies are making a day rate that is only a portion of what you are paying out. This is generally a fourth or fifth of what they would be making if you were their own client (without overhead included, of course) and they are still treating you with the same respect and hard working attitude they would have if you had hired them directly. I personally do this kind of work because my living depends on it and these companies who can afford big advertising can keep me steadily employed. It’s the closest thing I can get to a regular paycheck and I can tell you at the end of the day, any tip makes a big difference and means the world to the person actually providing you with excellent (hopefully) customer service.
I was curious what owning your own business really has to do with tipping or not? I personally believe that tips are earned based on hard work and effort… I agree that it is important to tip the delivery staff and people like that… but the people like photographers and planners who literally spend ALL day long with the bride and groom, making every effort to make sure everything is perfect surely deserve a tip more than the guy who drove the tables to the reception that the bride and groom never met. Small business owners put every single bit of effort that they can into their jobs. They have a true passion and usually end up doing way more work than they are paid for. So why is it etiquette to tip someone for just showing up and doing what they are being paid hourly to do vs tipping someone who will go above and beyond for you? It is pretty hard to be that vendor that goes above and beyond to make the bride and groom’s day perfect and spends 10+ hours with them over the course of the day and then watch the DJ who had a bad attitude and was only there for 4 hours get tipped just because blogs/magazines say that it is etiquette.
I am a wedding vendor. I work very hard every single wedding to make sure everything is perfect. I don’t ever expect to be tipped or given a gift… but please think and help your readers realize who the people are who really do go above and beyond.