Is Your Roommate a Psycho?
Living alone means freedom, right? You're free to do what you want, how you want, and when you want to do it, from taking out the trash to choosing which movie poster to hang in the pisser. But that freedom can come with a cost: A new study in BMC Public Health shows that people who live alone—now almost one-third of the U.S. population—have a higher risk of depression.
Not to mention, in an uncertain economy, more and more people are looking for ways to save on rent and other living expenses. One easy solution? Finding additional roommates.
If you simply need an extra body and the bank account that comes along with it, fire up Craigslist and call away. But if you want your roommate to be a friend, you'll need to make sure you've got sympatico lifestyles. You can ask the standard questions before you meet: What are your pet peeves? Are you a neat person or a sloppy person? Do you have a girlfriend who's going to become a de facto third roommate?
But to really get to know your potential match, you have to meet in person. Amy Canevello, Ph.D., is a psychologist at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte who's studied roommates and found surprising results. It turns out that similar personalities on paper do little to predict roommate compatibility. The one thing that does? A willingness to make the roommate situation work.
1. Know thyself: Fee and Canevello both emphasize the partnership dynamic. So before you start interviewing, ask what kind of roommate you are. What do you bring to the table, and how might that affect the situation? Try to find a balanced perspective.
2. Why do you want a roommate? Are you looking for someone to split the rent, or a new friend and social group? Make sure you know, and understand the other person's expectations.
3. Has he or she had a roommate before? Experience counts, and it's worth asking how those situations worked out.
4. Can you communicate? Problems between roommates are almost inevitable; the real test is whether they can resolve those problems by talking to one another. Try to get a sense for this during your face-to-face interview. Is this someone you feel comfortable communicating with?
5. Is he or she ready to make it work? Sure, now it sounds like you're dating. But without some commitment, as Canevello's research shows, you're not likely to last long. “When one roommate has the goal to just be a supportive roommate, that makes a world of difference,” she says.