I understand the allure of education and parents wanting to do what's best for their kid. I grew up in an educated family also as did my wife. Dr'.s, , chemist, IT people, etc. Got it. Genius IQ people too which who cares in my view as that doesn't make a good person often. My point is everyone is not cut out to go to college, academically or attitude wise like your son. I'm a odds player and given the vast majority of people in our country don't attend college by choice/ability, and only about 1/3 of American's are college educated, the odds are much of the savings for college, though well meaning, is for naught.
As for planning, I agree, we are planners too but the reality is long term planning for many is next week. Beyond college, the average retirement fund is pathetic. Most people don't plan for anything in life. What's new. Doesn't make it right/wrong, it just is I suppose. Everyone has their own priorities in life.
Yes, some ultra guilty people will feel if they don't do something 365 days/24 hours a day they aren't fit. That's silly. I'm grounded in reality and talking about people who work more hours than spend with their kids.
Other options? College loans. Being smart about college and not going into 100's of k of debt to go to a school because jr/jr'ette "likes" the school. Plan smart like go to community college first, xfer credit to 4 year school, save a pile of money. That's what I did. Don't go to college right after high school. Take a basic job where they will pay for your college. That's what some of my friends did.....they didn't know what they wanted out of high school like most of us, got their 4 year degree and decided they didn't want to work in that field so they seeked out a job that payed for their college in the new degree that they wanted as they were older, more mature, knew what they wanted. I just learned one of my nephews was in his final year of an accounting degree and decided he didn't want to work there and is shifting gears. Lots of wasted money. I had a good childhood friend who's dentist grandfather left him 100's of k in money earmarked for college. He went to an ultra expensive private school, left after 3 years, and works as a handyman as it loves that work. His parents wanted college more than he did. Again, nice to want what's best for one's kid but they all aren't cut out for college one way or another. And it's not in the kids best interest or happiness to be forced into it/assume college is best for everyone, no matter how much a parent wants to control that decision.
Yes, flex time, AWS,etc exists but not for everyone. The vast majority of people don't have this option as of yet.
Having one parent there at various times in the day when they are going to school? That's great, I agree. Many of my comments are geared towards infants/young kids when they are home often and they aren't with either parent most of the day.
The last sentence of my paragraph specifically refers to people I know.
Wow... What Mattie said. Just wow.
sounds like you are describing some kind of boogity boogity nonsense or the "bright lights and big city".
Having a college degree vastly improves one's chances of having flexible work.
"What are the long-term effects on children who witness domestic violence?
Whether or not children are physically abused, they often suffer emotional and psychological trauma from living in homes where their fathers abuse their mothers. Children whose mothers are abused are denied the kind of home life that fosters healthy development. Children who grow up observing their mothers being abused, especially by their fathers, grow up with a role model of intimate relationships in which one person uses intimidation and violence over the other person to get their way. "
"Most experts believe that children who are raised in abusive homes learn that violence is an effective way to resolve conflicts and problems. They may replicate the violence they witnessed as children in their teen and adult relationships and parenting experiences. Boys who witness their mothers’ abuse are more likely to batter their female partners as adults than boys raised in nonviolent homes. For girls, adolescence may result in the belief that threats and violence are the norm in relationships."
Please tell me you're are going say this is an early april fools joke on me but I think you're truly serious about the 5-6 bedroom house takes precedent over the kids well being and the data how it effects kids that seems like common sense to me. Please, read the above url and all the studies that talk about how damaging this is to kids what your friend did/is doing to her kids.
"Giving men a pass here"? .....non-sequitur/you lost me. I'm suggesting to get this non-man/creep of a guy thrown in jail where he belongs by beating this woman in front of their kids, who obviously has no respect for his wife or kids, and to teach the kids that violence isn't acceptable so they don't end up like a clone of this abusive "father" as often happens as the studies suggest.
I truly feel horrible for these kids. Very, very sad.
Tell that to those with degrees in the medical field, CPA's, management positions, many jobs in the IT field, etc.
In the end I think it's a wash and largely depends on the employer more than degree/non-degree.
How old are your kids, stevek?
Right or wrong, my friend stayed with her abusive spouse because of her children. He was never, ever abusive to them. He opened his wallet wide for whatever they wanted, including spring break trips, cars, sorority expenses, and college. You are truly clueless of the choices mothers must make. When she finally had had enough, she left with her youngest. Now she is working full-time to make sure that girl has the same opportunities her siblings had. Because her father is paying exactly what the court has ordered him to, and not a dime more.
My friend has a college education. If she hadn't agreed to support her husband's work aspirations by remaining home with the kids and enabling him to work and travel, she would be in a far better place than she currently is.
1. What makes you think I'm not including those fields? My CPA friends have been able to find part time work that pays very well in comparison to many other part time fields. For years, one of the dentists in the practice I utilized, was a woman. She was not the main dentist (she only worked 1-2 days per week) but having a part time dentist allowed both partners more flexibility. If you have skills and education that are valued, you are in a much better negotiating position. Salary is not the only thing people negotiate.
2. Well yes of course it depends on the employer etc. But again, the more you have to offer the more selectIve you can be about choosing an employer that offers perqs that are important to you.
Last edited by maciesmom; 02-20-2016 at 06:15 PM..
Bingo. It's like some kind of pipe dream. I can't believe this is even in question.
Management can also have 'work from home' jobs - especially if their employees also do. A college degree is more likely to make that happen.