Overwhelmed and with anxiety. Baby is too big. rant.
All along in my pregnancy I knew this baby would be big. My second was a couple oz shy of being 10lbs. I saw 3 different midwifes doing my pregnancy, all three where and are great. Last appointment I had at 38 weeks I did feel tired, overwhelmed and you know... had all the aches every pregnant woman has. My cervix was checked due to painful contractions and them not progressing or growing closer together. I was dilated 2cm and 70% effaced. No biggie. There is/was more time. My midwife even joked and said “it would be funny if you go past your due date since this baby is your second”. She made me believe baby would arrive any day. Here I am 40w 2d scared shitless after today’s appointment I’ve been getting contractions but I am still the same as I was two weeks ago. I saw a different midwife today, she is super sweet and nice, I really like her since she explains everything so detailed. She measured my fundal height and looked at me and said honey your measuring 44 weeks. She immediately went and got the ultrasound machine and measured baby’s fluid and it’s perfect for the weeks I have. She tried measuring him but the ultrasound machines they have at the clinic are not that great. His heart beat is fine, and he is moving fine. She really really wanted to induce me today and said honey I will do my best but the hospital has policies that they don’t induce if your not 41weeks. I could see her face and felt her nervous for me. She asked for my family history and I told her that my mom almost died giving birth to me (I was 10lbs) and had to have blood transitions due to a big hemorrhage. My husband was also a big baby and had shoulder dystocia at birth. She booked my induction date for Easter Sunday. I literally left the office crying because I am so worried and have anxiety about something going absolutely wrong and not leaving the hospital with my baby in my arms. I feel like I am never meeting my baby. And I can’t sleep. I am so overly emotional and scared. So anyways I left the office and she called me 20 minutes later and told me that she wanted me to go tomorrow to radiology to get a more detailed ultrasound of my baby. That made me feel better but now I am afraid of a posible c section if they see that he is indeed huge. I will agree for whatever is best for him but I really really don’t know how to cope with my feelings and stupid negative thoughts. I just pray that everything goes well 🙏🏻 Amd I will totally appreciate some prayers for my baby and I. I’m worried out of my mind!!
I'm really sorry you're going through so much worry. Try to trust your medical team. Their aim is to keep you and baby safe.
For what it's worth, I had to have an emergency c section and although I can't say it was easy, it is ok. Try not to fixate on it. If it is a possibility, you will get through it. You will heal and your baby will be healthy and that is the most important thing.