Many children face all types of abuse every single day. The lasting effects of abuse are becoming clearer as the children of past generations are now adults, “Struggling Adults”.
The years upon years of silence does its damage even when from the outside looking in several adults look like they are doing well, even thriving in life. The act of pretending is the norm among the children that grew up in “The ERA of SILENCE”. I am one of those children, and most likely YOU, the person reading this right now, are too.
We are all bonded together by this code!
What happens in the home stays in the home.
Tell NOBODY – Everyone is the enemy – It is OUR secret.
If you mutter one single word you will be in serious trouble – Physical/Mental Pain.
Does this sound disturbingly familiar? I am sure it does!
As we have now grown into adults trying to make our way through life, this inner child rears its head from time to time, reminding us that we have unfinished business! There will be something that will trigger a memory or a painful past moment, and there he/she is, the inner child, having a tantrum, screaming and crying to be let out!
What do we do as competent adults? We squash the child back into silence, because that is how we were taught–our life lessons bestowed upon us, tattooed on our damaged soul. We fight tooth and nail to keep it all hidden. Let the child sleep, do not trigger him/her awake to cause havoc in our daily lives!
As we press forward again and again, we try to keep that inner child hidden from the world, this hideous little beast that is relentlessly kicking us in the shins. You say “STOP”, “GO AWAY”, but the adamant child continues to banter until you cannot take it anymore and you are forced to take a peek.
What is so bad about meeting this child–the child of the past with this unspoken truth? Why do you want them to continually slumber as you are fumbling through life? Is this child dirty, evil or bad? Is your inner child not worth addressing? Many good questions to ask yourself!
I challenge you to ask yourself right now! Are you willing to let your inner child come out and play?
It is scary to think you must face the past at this time in your life, when you may finally feel you are beyond it all. If you take a moment and evaluate your life and how you do things on a daily basis, you may find that the damage of the past is more present than you realize.
Our inner child is the part of us that was so damaged we hid him/her away from the world to protect ourselves. In this process of protecting, we are actually adding to the damage. When we were silenced so long ago, we succumbed to the harsh belief that the words will never roll from our lips. This is NOT fair! Why were we silenced? Why do we continue to hide? Again, great questions to ask yourself!
I am proposing to you to take this challenge and ask yourself the questions above. Now get out a paper and pen and write down some answers. Review it and see what really stands out to you. Think about why and how it relates to all that you have been through.
Next do the unthinkable. Look at your inner child sitting in the corner of your mind, head bowed, maybe even weeping. The sad child wanting to be heard. Ask that child, “What do you need from me? How can I help you?” If you really think about it, you may be surprised by the answers you get. A big answer that I am sure many will come to terms with is “VALIDATION”!
As you look into the eyes of the child, you will see all that you have so desperately needed for years that has fallen to the wayside so you can survive. Now is the time to re-introduce yourself to this inner-child and let the healing begin. You deserve to heal. He/she deserves to heal. We all deserve to heal.
This will take some self-work and once you commit to the child you must continue forward. As you slowly release the past thoughts and pains, embrace each one and validate the truth, then let it go. Taking it one step at a time, writing, talking and sharing if you feel strong enough to do so.
Some people feel that a support group gives comfort knowing that you are surrounded by others who have that same unruly child inside. Others find that therapy one-on-one is best as they write things down bringing them in to discuss, and some do it quietly on their own until the strength from within brings them into the light. It works differently for everyone and there is not set plan. We are all individuals and process in our own way. All these ideas work. Take some time and find the right fit for you.
The time is NOW to meet your inner child and set them free to dance in the sun. No more hiding in the shadows of sadness. Release your inner-child. Let them out. Learn who they are and who you are. The more you learn about yourself, the more you will understand your behaviors, quirks and triggers. As you “tame the beast”, life will feel lighter and you will move more freely as you touch the sky.
We must break that “ERA OF SILENCE” once and for all and let your words free you.
I urge you to take on this challenge. Take time to write down my questions and do the work. Examine your inner-child and see what they need to heal. You are worth it! You deserve better! Remind yourself of this every day as you go through this process and the work will become easier in time.
When will you start? I say today!
When I decided to write my memoir The Unspoken Truth, my main goal was to help others and raise awareness. I am also the Massachusetts National Ambassador/Regional Director for the New England Area through NAASCA (national association of adult survivors of child abuse). I use this title as a platform to speak upon as I go all over sharing my personal story, raising awareness, education, promoting healing and inspiring.
I am a voice for so many people out there who have the same unspoken truth as myself.
Together, the more we talk and share, we can break the SILENCE once and for all!