Sharing food has long been a way of building alliances in every culture. In modern society, business lunches can be very important to your success. You might invite a customer for lunch to seal a deal for a big order. Or a competitor might invite you out to discuss buying your company.
Wearing a business suit when everyone is dressed casually can be as uncomfortable as showing up in jeans and t-shirt when everyone else is dressed up.
If you’re the host, offer your guests a subtle tip about appropriate attire. “The restaurant is real casual, and I’m coming from home, so feel free to wear something comfortable.” But that’s not permission to wear torn jeans, smelly sneakers, and a dirty t-shirt. Remember, this is a meeting, not a party with the gang.
If you’re the guest and didn’t receive a hint from your host, ask. Demonstrating that you’re comfortable enough with your host, and self-assured enough, to handle a little detail like this communicates that you’re a take-charge kind of person. “I usually work in khakis and a golf shirt, will that be appropriate?” for example, can solve the problem.
Whether host or guest, if you’re going to be late for any reason call as soon as you realize you will be delayed, so the other people won’t worry that they had the wrong day or time, or the wrong place.
If you have to go to the bathroom, and to be sure you don’t have to go later, do it now.
Your own comfort isn’t the only advantage. I once overheard, standing in a stall, a discussion of how the people I was meeting with were planning to handle our upcoming negotiation.
Some people scoff at such details, but humans, like other animals, look for subtile signs that tell us about the people we meet.
Make small talk about the place, the weather, sports, or something you know the people you are with are interested in—but not the business at hand.
If you’re the host, invite people to sit down and do so yourself. If you’re the guest, wait until your host sits or invites you to do so. Keep in mind that sitting side-by-side makes talking difficult, so try to sit across from whoever you want to interact with most.
Texting or making calls is insulting to the people you’re with. You may think it makes you look like a big shot that has to deal with all kinds of important issues, but it only makes you look inept and incapable of managing your life or business for the short time you’re at lunch.
A big splotch of spaghetti sauce on your lapel isn’t easy to overlook, and it’s embarrassing both for you and others. If you’re wrestling with King Crab legs or trying to keep a club sandwich together you’ll have trouble paying attention to the business at hand.
While you’re eating, sit up straight, and don’t lean on the table. You’re trying to look like a businessperson. Don’t shovel in your food with your elbows on the table like a six year old. Again, the purpose of your lunch meeting is to meet not eat.
See #10, plus it makes you hard to understand.
A lunch is a business social event and your job is to handle it with grace. Mom was right about a lot of things and behaving properly at lunch is one of them.