Sometimes I feel like I have so much going on in my head that I can't get it all to formulate some sort of post. And it's not even serious "stuff" on my mind. Just simple things like a weekend recap, or Eli's two year appointment or the night I made meatloaf and twice baked potatoes.
You know, thought provoking, life-changing tid bits.
But instead of posting something new tonight I'm just going to repost something that I wrote almost a year ago. The same message has been stirring in my heart again this week and it speaks about how I feel right now.
And it's timely considering what is happening this weekend. Or shall I say what happened 2000 years ago?
From the time I brought Eli home from the hospital he was a good sleeper. But he did have his moments. There were times where he would wake up in the middle of the night and nothing would calm him but nursing.
So one particular night last summer I found myself sitting up in bed at 4:30 am, half awake, flipping through the channels trying to find something to keep me occupied while I nursed my baby, longing for him to go back to sleep.
I'm not sure how I landed on it, but I started watching an infomercial type show about people who drink this miracle water given to them by a "pastor" and all kinds of good things happen to them once they drink this so called miracle water.
One lady had a car given to her by a stranger after she drank the water.
A man's son was healed after he drank the water.
Another instantly found a job once the water had been consumed.
I sat in my bed feeling bad for these people.
I even thought of them as pitiful and naive for believing such obvious ridiculousness.
Then it dawned on me, to some people I am just like those people who are drinking the "miracle" water.
I believe in a man who rose from the dead. I believe in heaven and hell. I believe in a God who is just and faithful and full of grace. And I believe a book is God-breathed and I look to it for guidance.
And I bet at some point in my life somebody has looked at me with pity for believing what they think is such nonsense.
As I sat watching these people drink this water and boast of it's goodness I understood why people can doubt the existence of a loving God. We are surrounded with news of violence, destruction, and heartache everyday. There is always a new prayer request and always a story of gloom that leaves you asking "why?" Also, there are so many "gimmicks" out there such as this miracle water, it's easy to lump them all into one big "gimmick".
Naturally I thought, What makes me any different from those people who believe that drinking this water will make their life wonderful?
And it came to me in one word: Relationship.
I have a relationship with the God that is just and faithful and full of grace. I can go to him at any time, in any place, for any reason. I can call on His name and He is there.
People are looking for anything to cling to, so if that means drinking water to give them some sort of hope in a world that seems hopeless, they will do it.
But I choose to go to my creator. The One who listens to me, leads me, and guides me.
And this doesn't always mean a new car from a stranger, or the perfect job or even all prayers answered exactly how we want, but it does mean unconditional love, forgiveness and peace.
Contrary to what much of the world thinks a relationship with Christ isn't about rules, and what to do and what not do, and it's not about being perfect and living the perfect life and most importantly it isn't about "drinking the kool aid" just because somebody on a stage says to do it.
It is about a relationship. It's that simple.
And I'm not naive, I know there are bad apples out there who make an entire group of Christians look bad. Just as there are with any group, there are people who judge, people who speak not out of love and people who make those who do not believe what they believe uncomfortable.
But, for me, as a follower of Christ, I hope and pray that I always come across with love. I do not agree with a lot of what goes on around me, but that does not mean I will cut off relationships, publicly bash people or condemn people. I want to love just as He has loved all of us.
Why am I saying all of this? Because lately I've seen people lumping Christians up into one group that is full of close minded bigots and for me (and I'm proud to say my church and the people I surround myself with) that is not even close to the case.
My hope and prayer that as I come into contact with people whether it be through friendships, social media or even my cashier at Target, that they would see the love of Christ through my words and actions. I know that I won't always be good at this, even though I am a Christian I am human afterall, and we make mistakes. It seems that too many times the world does not allow Christians to make mistakes.
But I do and I will.
I am called to love, and I strive everyday to do this as best I can. The rest isn't up to me to figure out and work out.
1. How my eyes are burning because I'm cleaning my oven and the smell/smoke that is coming from it is pretty bad. Luke keeps asking me if it's normal and I play my role where I pretend like I know what I'm talking about when I really have no idea. So every time I say,"yes completely normal" I say a prayer that it is in fact normal.
2. What I want to wear while in NYC. I appreciate everyone sharing your posts, I haven't gone through them all yet but I'm working on it. I just don't know if I will want to wear shorts, or dresses or what? It will be May so I'm guessing something cool. And for walking will I want to wear flat? I heard my feet will get dirty if I wear flats.
3. Speaking of shorts. What is the appropriate short length for a 29 year old mom of one to wear? I"m seriously stumped on this.
I LOVE these shorts from Old Navy but is 3 1/2 inseam too short for a mom?
Will I look like a cross between a mom trying to relive her glory spring break college days and/or a cougar?
For the record I spent my spring break college days either sitting on the beach with a friend or skiing with Luke. So there were no "glory" days that involved incredibly short shorts.
Also? I'm not implying that just because you wear short shorts means you have a scandalous past.
4. Next week is Easter and I have no idea what any person in my family is wearing. Our church is definitely EXTREMELY casual and I will be spending the morning with 4 and 5 year olds, so I'm not gonna worry too much about what me or Eli will wear. And Luke will pick his own.
There I just solved that dilemma.
So these are the thoughts going through my head. Interesting huh?
And yes my eyes are still watering from the cleaning oven and I keep telling Luke it's completely normal.
In a couple of months Luke and I are headed to New York City.
We are so excited, we have always wanted to go and never had the opportunity, and now because of my role in Scentsy we are getting to go for free!
Luke is even more excited about that part.
I've started planning on our trip, what we want to do, where we want to eat, what we should wear, etc.
And I'm drawing a blank.
So this is where I need help, if you'e been to NYC what are some things we should do while we are there?
Where would you reccommend we eat?
And if you've ever written a post on a trip you took to NYC you get bonus points!
So share away with all your great NYC tips!!
When Eli was born I promised myself I would NEVER enter him in one of those cutest kids contests and beg my friends, family, and acquantinces to vote for him.
And I have held true to that promise.
However, I never promised myself that if I became a finalist to be a fashion blogger for our local mall that I wouldn't beg friends, family and acquantinces to go vote for me.
Glad I never made that promise.
Because, here I am, asking (begging?) you to please go vote for me, this would be a really neat oppotunity for me and makes me excited.
And if I lose I will blame all of you.
Oh and you have to be on an actual computer, for some reason the link doesn't work on phones.
Today I turned 29 years old.
And as I went through my day of eating a breakfast my husband woke up early to cook me, taking Eli to the zoo and wrestling him to get in his stroller, and eating my yummy birthday cookie cake I thought about what I wanted to write about on my blog.
I don't think about what I'm going to write too often. Usually something memoriable or weird will happen (like a bird landing on my head) and I will sit down to type and the story just sort of unfolds.
But today was different, all day I thought about what I wanted to say on my birthday. Because for me, time and the natural act of aging isn't just something that I think about on my birthday, it's something that I think about often, and I wanted to try and put it into words somehow, someway.
Everyday, not just on my birthday I'm getting older, I don't hit my birthday and think "omigosh I'm almost 30". I'm thinking about it often. And not in an obsessive way, just in a mindful type of way.
Growing up I always heard that life goes so fast, but I'm pretty sure it gets faster as I get older. And yet, each year I get older, each day I get older but I don't feel like it. I still carry so many memories with me that seem so near to me.
Watching afternoon Full House reruns while the sound of my mom browning meat and watching Oprah came from the kitchen as she prepared dinner.
Walking into Disney World with my family for the first time.
Going to camp in 7th grade and meeting my now best friend thinking she was the funniest person I had ever met.
Meeting Luke for the first time on a field at a concert wondering, as I introduced myself to him, if he was my future husband - which wasn't profound, I wondered that about every boy I met from the age of 16 to Luke.
The feeling I had when I took a pregnancy test at work knowing, ready or not, my life was changing.
These are all memories that fill my little storage bank in my head. They all occurred at different points in my life, and they all make up a different part of my 29 years of life, yet every single one of them feels as if it happened yesterday.
Each year, time passes and separates me even more from these memories. But I still carry them. And I still add to them.
Today was a beautiful day so after dinner we went on one last walk before the sun went down. After I put the stroller in the garage I truned around to get Eli and I told him "it's time to tell the day goodbye".
It was pretty instanteous when I realized this is what I do everyday. Everyday I wake up and go on with my day, the ins and outs the good moments and the bad, and all long the way I am creating memories. Memories that shape me, memories that make me smile and some that I would probably rather forget.
And then at the end of the day I tell that day goodbye and get ready for the next. Time does move on, and so I move with it. Taking all my memories from the past, and creating new memories as I go.
I really have no idea if any of this made sense, and really it's just an outpouring of something I think of often, but it's my attempt to explain how I view time.
Maybe by the time I'm 30 I'll be able to explain it better.
Shortly after Luke and I moved into our new house I got an intense craving for chicken spaghetti. My very favorite recipe to use is the Pioneer Woman's recipe (which is fabulous and even great as leftovers).
I went to the store after work, got all the ingredients I needed and headed home with thoughts of noodles baked in a creamy cheese mixture delight running through my head.
I could not wait to sit down and eat my meal.
I had cooked my chicken, chopped my veggies and was boiling the noodles. The oven was preheating in anticipation of cooking one of the best casseroles ever.
I checked my noodles and they were just how I like them, not mushy and not too hard....I think it's called al dente but this isn't a recipe blog so don't quote me on that.
This is where the story goes downhill quick.
I was straining the water out my noodles in the sink when somehow, someway, my awesome Dollar Tree plastic strainer slipped and every single noodle goodness that I had in my house fell and went down the drain. And those that didn't go down the drain were sitting in my nasty sink.
It was like a chicken spaghetti nightmare. I couldn't see straight, I couldn't think straight, I did the only thing that came naturally.
I screamed and picked up the strainer and through it across the room.
Luke came running from the back to see why I had screamed. I stood there crying as I explained to him that my only craving in the entire world (on that night) had been ruined.
He started laughing because apparently a 27 year old woman throwing a strainer across the room and crying over spilled spaghetti is hilarious.
I'm not proud of that moment, but it was my human nature taking over.
Last week Eli and I were playing in his room with his trains. The boys loves trains and especially loves to drive them on his tracks.
However, as a two year old, sometimes his hands don't exactly do what I know it is his mind is telling them to do.
He is still learning coordination when it comes to his hands and those small, fine movements.
Well on this particular day he couldn't get is trains on the tracks. He has done it before, but today it wasn't happening. He wanted them on just perfectly and they wouldn't go on there, he would move the train to the left slightly or move it to the right slightly and this already OCD perfectionist child was not happy that he could not get the trains on the track.
So he did what came natural to him.
He screamed, threw his choo choos and started crying.
And just like that I was staring into a human nature mirror.
I can assure you I haven't thrown anything across the room since that fateful chicken spaghetti day, so it's not like Eli picked up that habit from watching me. He is my flesh and blood, I am passing down traits to him both good and unfortunately bad and I don't even know what traits he is going to reveal!
As I sat there dodging several trains being thrown in my direction it was a weird realization that Eli will battle the same things I do.
Try as I might to lead him in the right way, teach him the ways of the Lord and so on, there are times when human nature takes over. And even times when I will see him making the same mistakes I have made.
I guess it's all apart of the parenting process.
I used the moment to explain to Eli that we don't throw things when we get angry which I'm sure sounded a little bit like the adults do in the Charlie Brown cartoons, but at least I tried.
And it was a lesson for me also, I guess this parenting thing isn't just about teaching, but we get to learn along the way.
I just hope Eli doesn't pick up my trait of intense food cravings. Nothing good can come from that.
We had the best weekend celebrating Eli's big second birthday!!
I made the decision about a month ago to not have an official birthday party. The first birthday was so much fun, but until Eli can communicate with me what he wants to do for his birthday I'm not going to bother with a party.
Which I'm assuming will be next year, so it was a nice one year break.
I get so stressed out throwing parties and coordinating people together. It was different when I worked as an event planner for an outside source and didn't know the people and didn't have to worry about who was talking to who and all that.
But when it's my own circle of people? I would rather jump off a mountain in Alaska.
Not sure why Alaska? I guess cause it seems far away.
We didn't really know what we would do for Eli's birthday but I knew family would want to see him, which then led to a full weekend of driving and celebrating, which ended up being great!!
Friday we met with my family at a local pizza/arcade place. My best friend's family was able to come join us and we had so much fun eating, laughing, talking, enjoying cake, etc. It was such a great night and Eli had a blast.
Saturday we spent the day as a family. We took Eli to the store to get his present but they didn't have what we planned on getting him so we had to order it online. Oops.
Then we went and got some mexican food. Eli is a big queso fan (who isnt'?) so he thoroughly enjoyed his lunch of cheese on a fork. We aim for healthy and nutritious in our family. Oh and organic.
Luke had a music gig that night so Eli and I went to Sarah's house. Eli and Manny have SO much fun playing together and are the cutest things. They fight occasionally and there are tears sometimes but for the most part they play well together.
Sunday after church we spent the afternoon with Luke's family.
It was such a wonderful weekend, we had such a great time celebrating Eli. Our boy is well loved.
And thank you for all your birthday messages for Eli on here, twitter and IG. He appreciates them all!
Actually he has no idea, but if he did know he would appreciate them!
In sticking with the theme of "first world problems" around here I have another story to share.
But first, because I'm skilled in being an obsessive over sharer and giving way too many unnecessary details, I need to setup my story.
My grandparents have a small cabin about 20 minutes from our house that serves as a second home for them. They go there occasionally and when they do Eli and I like to go visit.
Their cabin is on the land of my aunt and uncle which also serves as the home to lots of animals. Cows, horses, dogs, cats, goats, basically a kids paradise.
Except for my kid who is scared of animals. I thought he would have outgrown this by the age of two, but here we are at age two and he is still scared.
And every time he shows his fear of animals Luke has a mini panic attack that he is going to be a wimp in high school.
Because Eli's social status in high school is what we should worry about now.
Today Eli proved that he will indeed not be a wimp in high school by being just a bit more brave around the animals. He wanted to go near them, and make their animal noise at them, but he did not want to touch them. Fair enough. I don't enjoy touching animals who lick their private areas either.
So we spent the day playing outside, Eli walking through, falling and landing on manure several times and me thinking about how I couldn't wait to give him a bath.
We enjoyed our time outside on this beautiful day and then came home for the evening. It was then that I remembered that Luke had to work late I decided to take advantage of Eli and I already being dirty and go jogging.
And by go jogging I mean me almost passing out while pushing Eli uphill while he snacks on a banana and takes in the scenery.
Eli and I went jogging, or brisk walking however you choose to look at it, and the whole time I thought about showering.
I know that sounds extreme but I'm a recovering OCD'er. Meaning my OCD flares up at different times. My child's pacifier falling on the floor at the mall? Pick it up, lick it off and we're good to go. My child putting his hand on dry manure? I can't quit thinking about it.
We completed our walk and we were standing in the driveway while I guzzled water like I had just pushed a 27 pound toddler uphill.
It was then. At that moment. That a bird flew out of nowhere, although I'm assuming the sky, and LANDED ON MY HEAD.
In all reality it happened in a split second but it felt like an eternity as I pondered just why in the world a BIRD was ON MY HEAD. Was I in a magic trick show and I didn't even know it?
By the way I hate magic shows. One time my family went to a magic show in Branson and they wanted to sit in the front row. What kind of normal, sane family wants to sit in the front row? I protested our seating because I hate magic shows but they insisted that the front row was the best seating.
Guess who was the one person chosen to be an audience participant? It was the scariest minute of my life as I prayed that the man trying to guess my card number wouldn't be able to read my mind. I wanted to block whatever voo doo the magic trickster was using.
The bird flew off and went on it's possessed way and I screamed "A BIRD WAS ON MY HEAD!""
Nobody was outside to hear it except Eli who started laughing and said "bird on head bird on head" while patting his head.
I would have thought it was cute if I wasn't counting the MITES THAT WERE FILLING MY HAIR.
Two words came to mind. Bird and Flu.
I snatched Eli up and went inside. I had planned to give him a bath but desperate times called for desperate measure. A bird had just landed on my head. I needed to shower ASAP.
I turned on the shower and waited for it to get hot.
The hot water never came. I don't think in my 28 years on this beautiful earth have I ever not had hot water. Except for that time when I went camping with my best friend. Our friendship barely survived that camping trip and I vowed to never go camping or without hot water again.
So why, on the day when I had who knows what wandering free reign in my hair did I not have hot water?
AND WHY was this on the day when my husband was in a meeting where I couldn't reach him?
These are things that still have no answer.
I thought about all my options and decided that going to the emergency room because of a bird landing on my head was a bit out of line.
And WebMd was no help. First time in the history of ever that this gem has failed me.
The next option was to simply move on with life. Eli and I went to the kitchen and started eating dinner.
Luckily he can't talk in complete sentences yet or he probably would have asked me why I was itching my head all throughout dinner, and then getting up to wash my hand because it touched the infected bird area.
Luke got home and switched some magical (not the voo doo kind) switch on this big grey tank in our garage. And then told me hot water probably wouldn't come till morning.
So here I sit, scratching my head and convincing myself that my headache is not from the bird that landed on my head.
Maybe my OCD is back after all? Do birds even have mites?
Saturday is Eli's birthday and it snuck up on me faster than his first birthday did.
Last year I was prepared, I had a party planned a shirt ordered and food ready to go.
This year? Nothing. I decided a long time ago to not do a big birthday party this year, but until recently I hadn't considered any birthday details for Eli. And then today I started panicking that I didn't have a special birthday shirt for Eli.
Wanting to make sure that Eli has a special birthday shirt come rain or whatever the rest of the saying is, I remembered that a friend had told me about an embroidery shop in our town.
So around 2:00 today after my child successfully protested a nap I decided to venture out to Target and the embroidery store. Even though they are on opposite sides of the town. Both were necessary.
So Eli and I got back in the car and headed to Target.
Eli has come to love Target as much as his mom, but not because he can get a pair of cute wedges while also purchasing sharpie pens, new curtains and broccoli. But instead he loves Target because the bakery gives away free cookies. So each time we pull into the Target parking lot he starts screaming COOKIE and screams it all the way to the bakery.
It has become a game for me to try and get though the entire store before Eli finishes his cookie. Which was going well until Luke taught him how to eat like the Cookie Monster by shoving the entire cookie in his mouth.
I hope you can feel my annoyed tone in that last sentence.
As I was putting the groceries in the trunk of my car, Eli who was sitting in the cart decided now would be a good time to kick off his shoes and make himself comfortable.
I reached down, put his shoes on, put the cart in the parking lot cart area thingy and headed on my way to the embroidery store.
I knew it was risky driving all the way across town in traffic with perishables in my car, but I also knew Eli needed a 2nd birthday shirt.
I'm clearly a woman of wise priorities.
After almost 30 minutes in the car and more Barney songs than I care to relive we finally made it to the shop. I got Eli out of the car and reached for my purse.
It was then that I remembered wheeling the grocery cart in to the parking lot cart area thingy at Target with my purse still inside the cart.
I got in the car and drove as fast as I could while obeying the speed limit and two school zones, and listening to Barney serenade me, when all I could think about was my precious daily planner inside my purse and how I would be lost without it. Never mind the debit and credit cards. My planner is my lifeline.
We made it back to Target and Eli screamed COOKIE as soon as he saw the store, it was like a nightmare deja vu. I snatched him up and walked into the store as fast as possible without looking like a crazy lady who just LEFT HER PURSE IN THE PARKING LOT.
I went to customer service and asked the man working if a purse had been turned in. Naturally he asked me what color the purse was, so I told him tan. I added that it had my entire life in it but he did not seem to be in the mood for my dramatics. He then opened up a DRAWER and said well no I don't see a purse in here.
People, I'm talking like a drawer that you keep pencils and paper in.
I kindly said, well it wouldn't fit in that drawer could it be somewhere else?
He then used that walkie talkie thing and said "there is a lady here who lost a tan purse did anybody find it". I could hear it echo through all the walkie talkies throughout the store while I wondered why he didn't sense the urgency of the situation.
A young girl also known as my ANGEL said she had my purse and brought it to me. She asked my name which means she had to look at my license at some point. I hope she enjoyed all the trash and random bits of Eli's snacks that were in there.
I was SO relieved to have my purse and decided because of my ordeal I deserved a little treat. So I went and got some Reese's eggs and a coke and headed to check out.
Another young girl was working and asked me how my day was. Because I have this endearing quality to over share information about my life that nobody really cares about I then began to tell her the story of leaving my purse in the Target grocery cart.
She told me not to worry that it happens all the time.
I was sort of skeptical and asked her if it really did happen a lot?
And she said "Yes, quite often, we have so many grandparents who get confused trying to take care of their grandkids that they forget their purses, so don't worry, at least you didn't leave your kid"
You know how some people think they are being encouraging but when they open their mouth it just comes out all sorts of wrong? Yeah that.
And I'm not sure who should be more offended. Me or the "confused" grandparents?
After all that I headed home sans embroidered shirt. Poor Eli will just be another kid who doesn't have a special birthday shirt. Please label this as a "first world problem".
At least he isn't one of those kids who has confused grandparents who end up leaving him at Target while snacking on their Reese's eggs and drinking their cold coke.
That would be almost as tragic as losing your planner.
At the beginning of every month I like to use my blog to share the latest Scentsy specials for that particular month.
This month the warmer of the month is the Green Thumb and is pretty darn cute!
The scent of the month is Hello Yellow and is SO good! It has a bit of lemon in it but it isn't overwhelming. I've been warming this in my laundry room and love walking into my house and smelling it. It smells so fresh!
Both the warmer, Green Thumbs and the scent Hello Yellow are 10% off this month!
You may not know that Scentsy offers a wide selection of college warmers. These are the perfect gift for any college fan with school spirit and this month they are 40% off! That is an amazing deal making them only $21!!
Check out the campus collection here and see if you're favorite school is available! These also make great gifts for men!
And thank you to all my customers! I appreciate each and every one of you! I'm glad I can share my love of Scentsy with you all!