However, I need regular respite from caregiving. It is not a luxury for me. Too much togetherness with my mom leads me to feel chippy and impatient. Blow-ups occur if I don’t get enough time to relax and get away from Mom.
This is an equation I had been wrestling with for some time. How could I achieve respite if I couldn’t be gone overnight? Last week, I got an answer.
We planned our days in a way that had us leaving when Mom’s caregiver arrived at 8:00 each morning and returning to the house around 3:00 p.m. when she clocked out, which still afforded us plenty of time for visiting local attractions. We went to Santa Fe for most of one day, and we drove up the “turquoise trail” to Madrid, where we enjoyed perfect weather while sauntering through quirky galleries stuffed with gorgeous silver-and-turquoise jewelry and other items crafted by New Mexico artists.
Most days we bundled Mom into the car and drove to a local eatery for an early dinner, so Karen could sample the native cuisine. Mom enjoyed being included in our activities, and she always likes going out to eat. This strategy proved to be a “win” on all counts.
Our staycation itinerary also included a day hike into the Sandia Mountains. Both Karen and I love outdoor activities, and this shared experience solidified my resolve to become a more expert hiker. We snapped photos of boulders and lizards—and a roadrunner who graced our walk with an appearance. All the while we chattered about our current lives, our aspirations, our troubles. We may not have solved any of the world’s problems, but we certainly gave each other all the empathy one could hope for.
A great professional caregiver is a gift, too. I would never have been able to enjoy any of this time with Karen if not for Mom’s caregiver. Without the caregiver’s expertise, my thoughts would have been preoccupied with Mom: was she all right? Had she fallen? Could she get herself some lunch?
Prior to Karen’s trip I thought respite needed to involve long periods of time away from caregiving, and I’m glad I discovered that’s not true. I didn’t get away at all, and yet I still feel refreshed and renewed. Karen said she had a great time, and I did, too. In fact, I’m already looking forward to our next staycation.
Most of the blogs are taking care of a parent or grandparent.My husband has Lewy Body dementia. I am 76 years old...I fell last night on the ice because he was leaning backwards severely. We both fell and I landed on a piece of firewood on the porch because I was trying to hold him up.I have no time for myself, my hobbies or to visit my daughter's who live in other parts of the country. How to I get back my life???