Ranma: To flush it down the toilet. If there's a creature in the sewers, this'll kill it for sure.
Kodachi: HOHOHOHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHAHAHA!!!!! (Her ribbon snags Akane's cooking) You need not fear this evil confection, Ranma darling!
Director: CUT! Kodachi, you're not supposed to be in this fic!
Kodachi: Where my dearest Ranma goes, I go!
Ranma: Take a look at this picture. This is Ranma Saotome. He'll probably be around here now and again. He's my, uh, my fiance. So if you see him around my room at odd times or anything, it's OK.
Director: CUT! Doesn't anyone read the stage directions? Ranma is supposed to be FEMALE in this scene!!!
Ranma: Shampoo! What the heck are you doing here?
Shampoo: Shampoo bring breakfast! Hot dumplings and tea!
Ranma: An empty plate? (Turns around) MR YOTSUYA!!
Yotsuya: A delectable meal, my compliments young lady.
Nikaido: Excuse me, but I'm having trouble following this. Is Shampoo Ranma's girlfriend?
Shampoo: No. Shampoo Ranma's wife!
Nikaido: Oh. Then what about Akane?
Director: Akane is Ranma's fiancee.
Nikaido: Then Ranma and Akane are in love?
Kodachi: HOHOHOHAHA! I was only too glad to supply the prop people with some of my special food!
Nikaido: I'VE GOT IT! Ranma is in love with MANAGER KYOKO!! Right?