For the past 4 years in my life, i have never been looking forward to celebrating Valentines Day. Sounds bitter for some, but yeah, I admit i kinda felt that I should be. Kidding aside, I am not! I just felt though that God wants me to be more patient, waiting for that special someone he has been preparing. I guess we are both being prepared to meet in future when He knows we are ready for each other.
Earlier, a friend posted something in Facebook that struck me: "My phone is under repair, the price for settling for less" so I stopped, paused and think. I realized that there is something more to this. Just like in love or in life, if you don't wait patiently or invest on something valuable, it will turn out to be something lesser that you thought it would be. It may also be taken for granted because it doesn't seem to have much of a value. I realized, I have been so impulsive these past few months, making decisions out of curiosity, not even assessing if this is something that I really wanted. I posted few weeks back about lacking purpose in life. I'm in another crossroad not knowing either be heading left or right, move forward or backward.
I am trying to create directions in my life but I got lost in the middle of nowhere. This is not so me! I have been so strong and determined and independent half of my life and this challenge should be pretty easy to handle. But I was wrong, I didn't realize how powerful Love can be. It can either make you grow and be better as a person or can ruin your entire life. I wouldn't let it happen, i have traveled so far, surpassed a lot of challenges, and this should not be an exception. I should be able to get through this, no matter what happen.
For now, my heart is aching and bleeding. It's my choice to be in this situation. I have always keep this in mind, the moment i said 'I love you' to someone is also the time i gave him the opportunity to hurt me. If he will, then it's up to him. My heart has been guarded for so many years and one shot of cupid's arrow it melted like snow. Melted for someone who may not be worth the risk. But I am not yet giving up, I still believe in the Power of Love. It may not be a Happy Ending but the journey will be worth it.