Humans are squishy with small brains. We don’t get it right every time.
And that’s okay. Being wrong is not the end of the world.
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It’s hardest for me when I realize finally that what I said or did was wrong when at the time I thought what I was doing was not only good but holy (partially because my environment told me it was). We don’t always have the educational background to make the best decisions. I’m learning to accept personal responsibility for decisions I later learned were wrong without entering into a cycle of guilt and shame. The illusion of libertarian freedom (a real problem in America) is what makes it hard for many of us to accept past mistakes and forgive ourselves. Society tells us that we have the freedom to do anything, so when we make mistakes we beat ourselves up even more because we think that we could have done otherwise and simply chose not to. I am not saying we shouldn’t take responsibility for our actions. We should. But we are limited people with a limited knowledge of the world. Social media has only enforced the illusion of libertarian freedom. If someone says something wrong on Twitter, that person should have known better and is publicly shamed. No forgiveness for that person. She is a bad person. Clearly, I have many thoughts about self-forgiveness because I can personally relate. This poem really resonates with me.