Listen to "mom;" she knows her stuff!
If your budget allows, I would suggest The Royal Plantation in Ocho Rios, Jamaica (74 rooms). Part of the Sandals chain, but a step above and marketed separately. Adults only. No buffets or wristbands,top shelf liquor, beach service, wonderfull room service,also. They will pick you up at Mobay airport. Private transfer included. If you can afford the Timair plane transfer from Montego Bay to Ochie it takes about 1.5 hours off your transfer time. I would suggest a room catagory with a FULL balcony (not french) if possible.
Azul Beach Resort (Puerto Morelos Mexico, 20 min. south of Cancun 97 rooms)would be another nice option for you. Great beach and beach service. Covered beach beds literally on the beach. No buffets (breakfast buffet if you care for it) or wristbands. Top shelf liquor. Great small property. Check out the Azul Suite if within budget.
Akumal Beach Resort-240 rooms- mostly buffet, low end drinks, very good 3 star resort. Resort is positioned across the long hotel beach. Great snorkling beach as the coral comes up almost to shore. Limited swimming beach in front of hotel, but a very short walk takes you to some good swimming (soft sand bottom). Akumal itself is a 2-3 min walk down the beach. Very nice compact location and bay.
My wife and I have spent anniversarys at these resorts. Other small resorts I have considered are; Jamaica Inn Ocho Rios, Coyaba Montego Bay Jamaica, Spice Island Beach Resort Grenada, Blue Waters Antigua, Couples Swept Away Negril Jamaica.
You are vacationing during low season, which may open your budget for a nicer resort/room. I have found tripadvisor to be very helpfull when making travel plans. Sort out the reviews and remember everyone's expectations are not the same. There are many people who enjoy the Sandals resorts, but I feel I receive a better value elsewhere.
Look into the Rock House on Harbor Island, the feed back on trip advisor gives a great description.
I am staying here for the first time in March.