Memory loss: At a certain age I think it’s safe to say everyone–aging parents and us– thinks about it. Many boomers and seniors play bridge, learn a new language, and train their brains using innovative technology, hoping to stave off memory loss.
But the effectiveness of brain-training technology seems to be questionable in real life, according to AARP’s 4/14/ 15 Brain Health Blog, “Major Report Shows What Works and What Doesn’t for Better Brain Health,” written by Elizabeth Agnvall. It’s based upon an April 2015-released Institute of Medicine of the National Academies report, COGNITIVE AGING–Progress in Understanding and Opportunities for Action co-sponsored by AARP, the National Institute on Aging, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and other government and nonprofit organizations.
Ginkgo biloba “is not considered effective in preventing cognitive decline.
So now we have the latest information on cognitive* aging as we try to help aging parents and ourselves age well.
We know “the whole is the sum of its parts.” We learned that in school. When people are old, with less to occupy their days, memories from the earliest days to the present take on more and more importance. The little piece below, from a student, brings it all full circle.
Here’s to creating more memories that make aging parents and those we care about smile.
Memories are part of our being. They allow us to momentarily recapture our youth, milestone events, surprises large and small and so much more. If “Time Takes All But Memories” (August post) from elders who’ve lost spouses, good health, friends, family etc., can we supply happy memories for them–as well as for aging parents and the older people we care about?
1. Momentarily recapturing youth: What immediately comes to mind is celebrating a lady’s 100th birthday with lunch at a bar. (She died at 104.) I’m quite certain she never forgot that lunch, nor have I.
What made it memorable? Doing something no longer normal for her, that was once an enjoyable, normal part of her life. An added surprise and obvious memory-maker: The fact that two strangers–young guys–sent drinks to our table in honor of her birthday, thrilled her. (I couldn’t have staged that; if I could have, believe me I would have.) Can telling the wait staff how old your guest is produce something extra special?
2. Doing something that’s “today” could be a special event that comes to town; an outing to something contemporary that you go to together; something that elders know about, but may not have experienced, or an ordinary occurrence that wasn’t ordinary in their day.
That said, I remember Sr. Advisor R phoning to tell us (we’re far-away-living adult children) that some younger friends (in their 40’s and 50’s; R was in her 80’s), took her to a gay bar one night. R has always had a worldly view of life, which includes staying up to date on what’s going on.
3. Family togetherness: may produce the best memories for aging parents. Don’t we, in fact, remember special times with family?
It could be a holiday or a gathering when all children and grandchildren are together. Interestingly we can amass all family members from near and far for the funeral, so why not do it while aging parents/grandparents are able to enjoy it and the memories it leaves?
4. Reunions and visitations from meaningful people in elders’ lives: Can we provide the occasion for childhood friends, buddies from military service, and old friends to be reconnect, share past memories and possibly create new ones?
5. A collage of photos: Today we still have photos of special times (often stored in boxes). Tomorrow most photos will no doubt be stored in our devices’ memories.
Can’t those who do crafts, make a collage of photos and put them in a picture frame as large as an older person’s empty wall permits? It captures memories that can be relived each time the collage is viewed.
With hopes that the above contributes towards our goal of helping parents age well until the end.
Aging Parents and Us: Memory Loss or Loss of Focus?
I usually publish my blog Tuesday night. Yet I was immersed in readying for, and cleaning up after, a New Year’s Eve party and completely forgot. While multitasking has been a constant in the lives of many of us with old/older parents, the following from Mayo Clinic is a quick, timely read for me and quite possibly for you.
I wrote about disorganization at holiday time and feeling like ADD was at work. So this MD’s short answer, “Stop multitasking and learn how to focus“ (If link is problematic, Google Mayo Clinic; write “Adult Health” in search box; click any Adult Health post and put “Stop Multitasking” in search box on post’s page), speaks to me with 4 timely suggestions. Indeed, they are doable and 1 (or all 4) could be considered a New Year’s resolution for some. In previous posts (see “Related” below).
Sr. Advisor R talks about how she decided it was essential that she learned to discipline herself to focus. Widowed at 51, as she aged alone in her home, she began forgetting where she put things. When she lost her keys and could ask no one for help, she told herself “You’ve got to pay attention.” And she realized her head was often thinking one thing, while her hands were doing something else (like putting the keys in an unlikely place).
. Since Sr. Advisor R, 100-years-old and my mother-in-law, is way ahead of me in life’s lessons, I needn’t share the 4 suggestions with her. She lives by them. That said, sharing these suggestions with elders who seem frustrated–or are frustrating us–because of memory problems, is another way we can help parents age well.
https://helpparentsagewell.com/2013/07/23/difficult-discussion-strategies-ie-memory-loss/ A Burke Rehabilitation (NY) physician distinguishes between benign forgetfulness and dementia. A model difficult conversation is included here..
On July 8th I wrote about a new game, Road Tour, that researchers find restores cognitive processing speed and improves field of vision. Peripheral vision evidently shrinks as people age and affects safe driving. Here are details, plus a video, from the UK’s Daily Mail on-line: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2317955/New-game-make-brain-years-younger-hours-effects-lasting-year.
Doesn’t it sound like the above games hold significant promise for older people? Older people, of course, need access to a computer.
Googling or Yahooing “brain games” and “games for seniors” brings forth a proliferation of games from which to choose. Many enterprising people are jumping on the “Senior Games” band wagon.
Soon perhaps, a reputable company or organization will find it financially advantageous to rate the games, to help us know which claims of aging brain improvement are valid. For now we must do our own homework and stay current with news from reputable sources–as we strive to help parents age well.
A senior moment? A potential time bomb? Initially we may wonder how to distinguish between the two? Then we wonder how to bring up the subject.
Then, he says, there’s forgetfulness that can be a sign of dementia and should be a concern “if it’s interfering with everyday activities—if it’s interfering with social or occupational functions or activities of daily living.” Dr. Fonzetti gives this example: “When older parents start forgetting appointments, forgetting things they have done before like how to balance their checkbook or how to follow a recipe that they’ve prepared many times, an evaluation is called for.” He further tells us, dementia is a slow process.
*Since December 2014 a TV ad has been running, sponsored by the Alzherimer’s Association. It features a wife who has lost her keys….again. The husband finds them in the refrigerator. I’m reminded of another of Dr. Fonzetti’s many examples, when I spoke with him– of a person’s leaving the checkbook in the freezer. At the time I thought it an exaggeration and omitted it from his last quote in the preceding paragraph. Obviously I shouldn’t have.
(Here you’re inserting a benign, but legitimate possibility, not worst-case scenario, thus lessening the emotional part of the discussion).
In some instances, using the 2014 Alzheimer’s Assn. TV ad mentioned earlier as a conversation starter, could help begin a difficult conversation.
Gain information (reading, internet, friends) and check out concerns with our parents’ doctor, before taking actions that could change a life or damage a relationship.
Be supportive. Look for creative or alternative solutions. If we aren’t creative, it may be helpful to seek out a friend (with an older parent) who is.
Say as little as possible–the less said, the better–when having an uncomfortable or difficult conversation. And stick to the subject. It’s easy to get side-tracked or add a well-intended tid-bit or thoughtless word that makes us vulnerable to an argument.
Keep “What’s the Goal” first and foremost in mind. The doctor will ultimately be called in any event (immediately if safety is at stake). Otherwise there’s wiggle room.
isn’t having parent cooperation the best way to help them age well? Getting them to buy into–or at least accept–your suggestions, leads to the smoothest start….even if it takes a lot of patience and some additional time.
My cousin, a naturally gifted pianist, is on the board of a foundation that loans fine pianos to promising young students. This past summer she mentioned new research connecting music and memory in people with Alzheimer’s. It was a general conversation that I filed away in my memory.
I just heard–and watched on TV–an impressive segment demonstrating this connection.
1. Research seems to validate that music is deeply embedded in memory.
2. Personalizing a dementia suffer’s favorite music, played through an iPod, seems–amazingly– to generate certain memory, joy and on-target communication in people with memory loss.
Link to this NPR piece. Watch the video. A man who has been “out of it” (in a nursing home for 10 years) comes back “into it”–stimulated by the music from an iPod. (He’s a different person from the person on the NY TV segment I watched, but the result is similar.) How heartening is this!?…especially if a family member or friend suffers from Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia. The text accompanying NPR’s piece includes a box with “how to’s” for introducing music to those with memory loss. Also, the audio “Listen Now” on this NPR piece has excellent, related material.
It would seem personalized music from a simple, relatively inexpensive iPod (shuffle, nano) adds an invaluable ingredient–a priceless gift actually–for those who have been lost to dementia.
These people have not aged well–it’s so sad. And so frustrating to feel we’re helpless. But now it seems we can make a difference. We can–by gifting a small iPod device and a bit of work on our part to download the perfect music–help many with major memory loss age better, if not well.
Check out: “Newsworthy”–right sidebar.Timely links to research and information from top universities and respected professionals, plus some practical stuff to help parents age well.