Money is a topic that can often lead to conflicts within a marriage. Sometimes, the differing views that you have about finances can be evident soon after you get married. In other cases, issues can emerge over time. When many people think about financial issues impacting a relationship, they imagine a scenario in which one person is a spender and the other is a saver — a situation that can definitely create problems. However, there are other financial issues that you and your spouse may be dealing with. Seeing a family therapist can help you to work through these issues and get on the same page. Here are some examples of what you might be dealing with.
On the surface, financial generosity seems like a good thing — and, in many cases, it is. However, one spouse's financial generosity can lead to marital strife if the other spouse doesn't agree with what's happening. For example, one spouse may often look to make financial donations to different charities; when a youth comes to the door collecting money for his or her cause, this spouse may have a hard time saying no. While the other spouse may not want to seem uncharitable, he or she may not appreciate the household's money being donated in this manner.
Some parents believe that they should pay their children an allowance and give them money in exchange for completing extra chores around the house. Others, however, feel that children get a lot for free, and housework is something for which they shouldn't be paid. Although this conflict can seem like a parenting conflict to some degree, it's also a financial one because the two parents are disagreeing with how to spend their money.
A financial inheritance is a big moment in any couple's life, even if the inheritance isn't life-changing money. Sometimes, the two spouses will have drastically different ideas about how to spend the inheritance. One person may want to have fun with it, perhaps taking the family on a rare vacation, while the other may feel that it's smarter to use toward paying down the mortgage. This conflict can be disruptive, and the children may even get involved by siding with the parent who wants to use the money in more of a "fun" manner. If any of these financial issues are present in your marriage, a counselor can help you to find common ground.