There are always deadlines in my life, they are like weeds, one is pulled and five others pop up, and this summer has seen a frightfully huge crop. Perhaps it is the extra CO2 in the air. We won't even discuss the weeds in my garden. Every once in a while I tackle them, and I need a wheelbarrow to carry out those piles The teasel has gone wild. As, of course, I was warned it would. A teasel is a handsomely eccentric thing but get closer and there is plenty of trouble. An entire garden of teasel would be a prickly jungle indeed though the thought has crossed my mind. Let it go.
My latest deadline just been met, and I am going to give myself some time off in the next few weeks.
I'm looking forward to more time to sit here, at this blog. And more time to give myself Slow Love Life treatment. Watch a sunset? Deadline. Gaze on a flower? Deadline. Take a long walk? Deadline. Help an old man across the street? Deadline. There must be a reason for the mortality built into the word, and I never considered it until now. I do feel...exhausted. Proud of all we have accomplished--Moms Clean Air Force up to 100,000 members, a new campaign in Pennsylvania, lots of research on natural gas development and all the ways in which it is not only harming our air and water, but all the ways in which it is also giving us hope that we can cut those carbon emissions that are warming us too rapidly. Unless, of course, a great deal of methane is leaking into the atmosphere--and guess what? No one has ever monitored that. What an oversight. And what about fracking in areas that are too sensitive for the risk involved--and development of any fossil fuel is always risky. Places that supply millions of people with their drinking water. Places next to schoolyards, and neighborhoods. How bad is the ozone near those places? Another oversight: it isn't monitored. Much to do.
Life is complicated. But we all want to drive our cars, sit at our computers, turn on our lights. Power to the people. Global warming? Deadline.
But what I want to think about over the next few weeks is not all the ways in which we are going off the rails, but all the ways in which life is simply, stunningly, miraculously beautiful. In anticipation of getting plenty of sleep I ceremoniously stripped the bed and got out fresh sheets. Then I looked at my sorry old pillows, and remembered about how they fill with dust mites and other unimaginably horrid tiny creatures. They did feel oddly heavy. So I threw them in the washing machine. They came out looking even sadder. It doesn't matter. Deadline: Bedtime.
This little essay resonated with me. It's so easy to get off balance and only see the deadlines.
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