Published on November 10, 2008 by Wade Shepard Follow me on Twitter here.
I read this above quote and realized that it contains a large amount of hard earned wisdom. After 9 years of continuously traveling the world, both with companions and alone, I know that to be able to completely live on the ends of your own intuition – perhaps a working definition of freedom – it helps to travel alone. But to travel alone means wooing the beast of loneliness and solitude.
But I must mention here that loneliness on the Road is of a completely different character than the same affliction in an at-home setting. In travel, the feeling of loneliness can often times be used as a tool to extinguish itself. When I feel uncomfortably lonely when traveling, I talk to people. It is a simple formula. The world is full of people, and if you are traveling you have the ability to sample this depository til your heart’s content. You can start up conversations with dozens of people a day when wandering and not a single one of them has any inherent consequence. If you talk to someone and find that they do not understand what you are saying, then you can just move onto another person. If you make a friend and realize that you do not like him then you can just leave. If you find that you are in a setting which prohibits conversation then you have a full range of options to change it. When traveling you are essentially outside of the box of all convention – you are in a land of little social consequence. You can say anything to almost anyone and it does not really matter. You may be scoffed at 9 out of 10 times when trying to communicate with strangers, but you still hold on to a possibility that you will eventually make a friend.
I find that loneliness goes away from the simple act of speaking. So I talk to the birds, I talk to the animals borrowing on the side of the road, and I even talk to the odd human every once in a while. If I have a conversation with someone – even if it is extremely simple and inane, even if it is just in pantomime – I find that the lonely feelings blow away. The act of speaking does not only have to be for the purpose of communicating the meanings of words alone, but also for the side effect of simply making a base connection with another person. So I speak inane words and I am given inane responses, but I feel better for it. It seems as if simple verbal connections are enough to slay the beast of loneliness.
Hut in the woods on Brooklyn’s prospect park. It was my hermitage for a day.
The ways in which I make connections with people while traveling vary in accordance with the landscape. If I am in North Africa, where there are plenty of cheap street-side cafes, I pick one that has a good bunch of people, sit down, and start talking to someone – they usually talk back in some language. If I am in Eastern Europe, where beer sells cheap, I find a crowded local bar and start talking in English – someone usually talks back and I make friends. If I am in Latin America, I find a cheap hostel and stay there for a night or two. If in east Asia, I hitchhike and practice my Chinese and Japanese with the drivers. The ways of making simple contact with people while traveling are endless. You are a traveler, you can do or say anything to anyone and there are little social consequences. The traveler is the ultimate social wildcard, you can go between all classes and sects of a culture equally, as there are no boxes to put you in. You are free to talk to princes or paupers, all you have to do is do it. Oftentimes these little conversations bloom into real friendships, and you find that all semblance of loneliness fades away as quickly as they were formed. There is little reason to ever be lonely when traveling unless this is how you want to feel. The traveler chooses their own Path every step of the way.
How you talk about the feelings of loneliness is spot on. The times i’ve been traveling alone and get lonely I actually enjoy it…like you said, it puts all of your relationships in perspective and more importantly lets you discover who you really are!
I just got back from my first year long foray around the world, and I thought of this post often while I was away (at least I think it was this one, I remember reading one with something like the phrase, I take the loneliness and savour/enjoy it and hold it close to me). Beautiful words. It’s really hard for me to get used to being back in the States, having no money (and everything being so much more expensive than Asia!), a lack of transportation, and having fallen in love with a boy who’s 8,000 miles away from me…it’s all worth it, though. Thanks for the post!
No, thank you for reading. Glad you seemed to have had an amazing trip. No worries, the stationary feeling of being back in the USA passes fast with the prospect of a new venture.