Home / I am sorry - now what?
Referring to the sexual abuse of children by priests, the Pope said "forgiveness cannot be a substitute for justice." Some people admit it when they are wrong and say so. But is that enough? Is forgiveness earned by a simple apology? Are there objective criteria or conditions for an apology to warrant forgiveness? Shouldn't we forgive people who make mistakes only if they honestly attempt to correct them? What are the actions to forgive someone? If you still feel angry/hurt/resentful, have you really forgiven them? Are there some actions that are truly unforgivable?
What is forgiveness? When is it appropriate? Why is it considered to be commendable? Some claim that forgiveness is merely about ridding oneself of vengeful anger; do that, and you have forgiven. But if you were able to banish anger from your soul simply by taking a pill, would the result really be forgiveness? The timing of forgiveness is also disputed. Some say that it should wait for the offender to take responsibility and suffer due punishment, others hold that the victim must first overcome anger altogether, and still others that forgiveness should be unilaterally bestowed at the earliest possible moment. But what if you have every good reason to be angry and even to take your sweet revenge as well? Is forgiveness then really to be commended?