Published on June 26, 2015 in Bachelor / Bachelorette Recaps. 13 Comments Tags: adventures in babysitting, alf, cranberries, dublin, funeral scene, ian is the d-bag of the year, nick, peter brady, sham wow, whoville.
Sorry this post is – oh – a cool 3 days late. My bad guys! It was a *COUGH* ahem – busy week… with work, and well. Ye know. Recycling.
Anyhow – better late than never, right??
1. Uncanny, Campers. Ben H is Peter Brady. Peter Brady is Ben H! Finkle IS Einhorn (!!!!!) Also… he’s *kind* of like the cutest Who from Whoville I’ve ever seen.
3. When I look at him, I feel really pressured to make a decision about whether I wanna order a Ham Slam, Scram slam, All-American slam or a Senior French Toast Slam.
4. “Things have gotten out of hand“??? Cupcake, sugar… you know what’s out of hand is that jacket.
5. One more Doppelganger, courtesy of my home skillet Alison from CofC. Amazing.
6. I mean. If he has to do a #2 SO badly, why doesn’t he just excuse himself and go drop the Cosby kids off at the pool already? Cuz the only thing that could possibly explain the perma-grimace on his face is that he’s *constantly* thinking about how he’s gonna maneuver a brick through a drinking straw.
8. Sham-wow did make a funny during the funeral scene, which I enjoyed. In other news, Sham-wow has some serious DSL’s. And Sham-wow REAALLLY needs to tone down the meltdowns. I feel like if somebody makes Sham-wow weaaawy mad, he’s gonna turn into the Incredible Hulk and his veins are gonna pop out of his head.
9. The whole funeral scene – while the eulogies were funny, and they went to great lengths to spin it as a celebration – it JYEST kinda felt like it was in poor taste… was that just me?? Especially having Ben Z there for it. I dunno – shouldn’t somebody have been a smidge more sensitive to him?
10. Children of the 90’s… a moment of silence, please. When I heard the first notes of “Linger,” I gasped, turned into one big goose bump, then time warped back to a party in 7th grade in Tristan Fischer-Smith’s basement – complete with strobe lights & plaid shirts & epic middle school crushes. Then I shed one single tear in the name of nostalgia overload.
11. Can I call BS real fast? So yo. I’m not gonna shame her for letting Nick touch her where she pees… they’re consenting adults, yadda yadda. Big kids make their own decisions. But hearing her say she didn’t know this was going to happen / would never have done it if she had known it would cause anybody any problems – I meeeeeean, c’mon. Girl you’re smart – ya knew.
Also: what on earth would give her the idea that Nick might say something to the guys? Cooooooould itbethefactthat (to everyone’s horror) Nick publicly outed Andi for boinking him in the fantasy suite?
BOOM. We garnished with gobs of cilantro, GOAT cheese (you heard me), fresh tomatoes from my girl Becky’s garden, and the most delicious homemade roasted tomato salsa I’ve ever had – courtesy of my girl Yesse’s family recipe that she’d prob have to kill me if she gave me.
In other news, someone brought this over. One of the best pinots I’ve had in a minute for SURE. Grab some if you see it on the shelf.