Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys. Otherwise, their wives might send them to the store for some eggs and dish soap and, if you don’t mind, dear, could you get me a little bit of Hagen-Daas too, please? And maybe a bottle of wine? Just a cheap shiraz. It’s been a long week.
Yes, for most of us, running to Walmart would be done with the family minivan. In the case of these two cowboys, though, they decided to ride their trusty steeds to the nearby Walmart. And since they can’t rightly park them, they took them into the store.
Needless to say, this all happened in Texas. According to KHOU-TV, Woody Fields posted a video of himself and his friend casually riding their horses through a Houston Walmart.
According to the U.K. Daily Mail, Fields recorded the trip on his cell phone and posted the two-minute clip on his social media account, where it quickly went viral.
Fields said that he was initially worried that the horses would slip on the wax used to keep those Walmart floors shiny. However, the horses look beyond comfortable. In fact, they were so comfortable one decided to, um, fertilize the formica.
WARNING: There is a bit of harsh language in this video, as awesome as it is. Viewer discretion advised.
Woody Fields is my new hero, and not just because cowboys in Texas are automatically awesome so long as they’re not on the 53-man roster of the state’s rebarbative football team of the same name.
In a world where helicopter parenting and safe spaces are deemed legitimate ways of dealing with conflict and mild danger, these guys rode horses through Walmart. And you know what? They didn’t get sued. They didn’t get thrown out. They just acted awesomely. And one of them even posted a video.
The people in the store may have been shocked, but do you see any of them freaking out? No. Because you know why? This is a guy doing something decidedly awesome in space year 2017, in an era where it was thought to be precedent that anyone who didn’t send their child to school with quinoa was a horrible human being.
Woody Fields, we salute you, sir. You’re the most badass “Woody” since Woody Hayes. Heck, a few more videos like this, and you might just redeem the moniker from Messrs. Allen and Harrelson.
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