Tim and I will be celebrating our four year anniversary in less than a month. It is crazy to think that what feels like a lifetime ago can simultaneously feel like it started a blink of an eye ago… Us married folk will patronizingly say that comes with a good marriage. But it is true.
There are moments where I think back on how we met and it feels like it was 5 days ago I was waking up at 5 am to impress Tim with my #IWokeUpLikeThis look at rowing practice. Yet at the same time, it is hard to remember life without him. Sure I traveled the world, I had other boyfriends, I lived a life pre-Tim… but it just feels so distant. I think that is because, with Tim, there have been more big things that we’ve lived through together.
We’ve done a lot of those life-defining moments in 4 years. You could even say that we grew into adulting together. As most young couples do, we prioritized our goals, relationships, and made each other the number one priority. There were friends who understood and were happy for us, having also just experienced the excitement of a new relationship. But there were those who didn’t embrace us as a couple, still holding on to the pre-spouse days.
Which brought us to that weird place where half of your good friends are getting married, some of them have kids already, a few have bought a house, and that one cool kid from art class is jet-setting around the world teaching English abroad in between exotic photo shoot locations. The truth is that over the years, as high school Friday night lights turn into the loud music of bars and the bottles you once consumed transform in sippy cups filled with juice on Saturday mornings, we change. We grow. Sometimes that change is for the best, sometimes it is for the worse.
Changing is inevitable. Yet we still make each other feel guilty about the changes that happen. We talk about that friend who doesn’t go out to bars now that they have a girlfriend. We isolate our friend’s new beaus by inviting ex’s the group still likes. The childish games of she said-he said, where the best friend doesn’t like the girlfriend only apply while you are dating. But the moment that a girlfriend turns into a wife a choice is made. Each person says “I do,” two words that say a thousand things in between the lines.
I do choose you to spend the rest of my life with.
I do choose you to share my happiness and sadness with.
I do choose you to stand beside me in every challenge and celebration.
I do choose you to be my everything.
I do choose you, above all others, always.
In four years, we’ve changed. Together and as individuals.