Relationship Resolutions for 2012: New Year. New Love. New You.
You all know how it goes…as the countdown to New Year’s Day approaches, we make promises to ourselves to lose weight, save money or quit smoking. While some of us will resolve to hit the gym at least three times a week, others of us contend that we will NOT make the same mistakes in love that brought us to our emotional knees in 2011.
Don’t drag past heartbreaks into the New Year. Unless your breakup happened over the holidays, no need bringing any baggage into 2012 with you. And if your heart WAS broken over the holidays, give yourself 2 weeks to get over it and move on. It may be easier said than done, but a new year signals new beginnings and a time to love and forgive your self and start fresh. Reflect on love lost, but don’t harp on what you could have done differently or what was done to you. Take the lesson and trust that love will find you again.
Many people aren’t in relationships because they’re afraid of getting hurt. When opportunities to date present themselves, some retreat or sabotage their own happiness because it’s easier than facing the possibility of heartbreak. But great success and great love require great risk – so take a leap of faith. It takes courage to put your self out there, but the possibilities are endless and the rewards are so worth it in the end.
Nothing is more attractive than a person with a positive attitude and optimistic outlook on life. If you’re already in a relationship, focus on what is going well between you, and do more of the same in order to boost your happiness. If you’re single looking to meet new people, let your good vibes shine through in your smile. People will see joy all over you and want to get to know you.
Let’s face it some of us have a lot of work to do on ourselves before we’re ready to get out there looking for love. If you’re carrying past hurt and resentment, are depressed, stressed or otherwise emotionally unavailable, give yourself time to work through it. Love can’t cure all emotional ailments, and your partner isn’t responsible for your healing – you are. If you’re not ready to be in a relationship for any reason, be honest with yourself (and any potential partner) and work on getting your heart and mind right so that you are a whole person going into a healthy, satisfying relationship.
If you’re a homebody, start going out more. Ask friends to set you up on dates or try online dating. Change your hairstyle or get a makeover. Sometimes changing your love outcome is as simple as changing your mindset. Make yourself available and try something new. Not every date has to lead to marriage – just go with the flow and have fun.
Many times people are frustrated with their love lives because they buy into the fantasies presented to us in romance novels and chick flicks. Relationship myths will be your downfall if you’ve got your head in the clouds. While the perfect love and relationship sound great, so do bubblegum raindrops. But like bubblegum raindrops, they don’t exist. The reality is great love and relationships require work, compromise and dedication. Unrealistic expectations about love and relationships can lead to disappointment and bitterness.
Know that a relationship doesn’t make you a complete person – being satisfied with and loving who you are does. If a relationship is what you want, then put it out into the universe and wait for her to provide. Then live your life and enjoy your own company. No one else can be happy with you unless you’re happy with who you are first.