As you recall…have been stranded on Sol3 without a band since former rhythm player lost control by sampling local avatar known as “Ornette Coleman” (see Fieldnote File: 8.04.1965.ETHNOMUSIC00002)—have been recomposing crew for forty years…we are on verge of true FTL jamming, nearly ready to resume space travel in service of intergalactic joy and ethnomusicological scholarship.
After rehearsal of three local years we took the Velvet Elevator transport pod to the ship located under the large freshwater body, and set up for a launch. First we sent up a Stealth Drone to test local system conditions and discovered favorable solar flares for our test run. Warm-up tutorials got us cinched up and ready, so under cover of darkness, and with sufficient lubrication (see Fieldnote File: 3.1.2008.ETHNOMUSIC00005), we lifted lightly from the planet, took a quick run over the conurbation known locally as “Phoenix, Arizona” and set off.
Only after we cleared Sol3 atmospheric noise did our samplers detect signals from another intergalactic ship. From the nether parts of the local system our sensors locked in to the hideous musical makings of a hostile force of the species known to us as P’lug’Uglious’C’H’ill’bustificators, locally identified by the term “The Ssu”. These creatures relish only the martial musical stylings found commonly in military chime bands of the Mirak Izar planets in the system known locally as Boötes. We detected such sounds emanating from a P’U’CH ship hidden behind a local gas giant. Suspecting colonizing intents, in which they would subject all Sol3 residents to the doom of repeated listening to the planet’s version of Top 40s Pop, we engaged them in musical battle.
Happy to report the group performed admirably—we watched one another’s backs while passing through the grottoes and contracts that inevitably face a new band. Dicey moments with the containment field, hull breeches, flotsam, jetsam—all served to make us stronger, more tight as a band. The P’U’C’H ship retreated in an unruly cloud of Space Dust and departed the system after only injecting one or two alien Pop Star Personae into the cultural milieu of Sol3—will leave it to you to decipher who these diabolical exemplars of poor musical skill and tastes might be. We programmed the cleaning robots to contend with the messes under our couches, set the ship’s drives on Accelerator Groove to get us back in time for “happy hour,” and retired to the lounge. We intend now to continue musical development together. Am pleased to report that not one lubrificatory beverage spilled during our inaugural trip. Am also fully confident that we are now well on our way in our initiative to Take on the Cosmos.
Would like to report the crew greatly enjoyed the assistance of the local vocal ensemble known as “Cins & Hell Trio” during our jaunt. The crew looks forward to future collaborations with these avatars of local feminine wiles.
Well first off a huge thanks to Laika the first mammal in space. Good girl. We’d like to thank the Soviet Space Agency for making America get off their asses and get into space. We’d also like to thank Arthur C. Clark for thinking and writing. A big No Thank You goes out to any nation with space weapons except those with Admiral Ackbar at the helm. Thanks to Hubble for bringing atheism, I mean the coolest pictures, to the world. A shout out to Sir Richard Branson, we’ll go on the third flight of Virgin Galactic, sure we’ll wait buddy. We’d better get going on space exploration, our Sun will become a red supergiant in 5 1/2 billion years. Time’s a wasting.