Hierarchy creates a power distance. The weight of responsibility for others makes it harder to speak to anyone with vulnerability and true honesty. This unease goes both ways: Even if CEOs try to minimise the distance, their subordinates will always be cognisant of their boss’ ability to make decisions that can dramatically affect their careers. CEOs must be close enough to relate to their subordinates, but also distanced enough to motivate them. It’s a delicate dance, and accusations of favouritism – or aloofness – are never far away.
Becoming the target of hostile and envious feelings.
C-suite executives possess many privileges that others long to possess. Although we may not like to admit it, envy is ingrained in the human psyche. In fact, envy has shaped our evolution as a species by setting the foundation for our competitive edge. It motivates us to strive to attain what another possesses.
CEOs are often given limited and filtered information about their operations, employees and customers. Those in charge must realise that their subordinates tend to agree with them. No matter how approachable a CEO is, executives may fear saying the wrong thing and suffering consequences.
When surrounded by liars, it can become difficult to know who to trust. No wonder that paranoia sometimes raises its ugly head. CEOs face many threats, both obvious and hidden.
Landing at the top of the leadership pyramid doesn’t mean one suddenly has all the answers. Even the most talented leaders have blind spots. Many prospective CEOs who did quite well as a number two underestimate the emotional strain that goes with the top job.
As a first step, all new CEOs should ideally receive mentoring by people who have been in that situation. They should realise that acting like the Lone Ranger can be detrimental to their health. They owe it to themselves – and to their organisation – to prepare for the high psychological cost of success and power.
Some top executives are fortunate to have a significant other who can take on the role of confidante. But many fear burning out a relationship with constant talk about their professional concerns. In addition, their loved ones may not relate or may already have enough on their plates. Whatever the situation, all CEOs must develop a support network that can relate to their challenges and offer advice in a sympathetic, confidential way.
One way is to meet more peers. For example, for many participants, the annual CEO seminar that I run at INSEAD is the first opportunity they have to deal with the loneliness of leadership. They soon make friends with whom they can share their concerns – people outside their chain of command.
Another way of slowing down the process of isolation is by expressing gratitude to the people around us. It is a powerful tool to increase well-being in all sorts of settings. Gratitude boosts the release of oxytocin, a hormone that fosters prosocial behaviours such as trust, generosity and affection.