We teach our kids their ABC’s when we teach them to read, but are you teaching them some ABC’s of life? Let’s start with Abstinence. Abstinence doesn’t just include sexual abstinence. You won’t cover that topic with your two year old, but what you can teach your kids (at any age) is Abstinence from other things like video games, TV, computer time, media in the car, sugar, dessert, complaining, eating fast food, soda, whining..just to name a few. There is nothing wrong with withholding things from your kids—abstaining or refraining from certain things teaches patience and self-control—two important character traits that kids need to develop in order to be able to achieve sexual abstinence later in their teen years. We have no screen days or weeks even. My kids can’t play on anything with a screen for 48 hours now and then because I want to teach them that the y won’t die from abstaining from a screen for a few days! The process teaches discipline and self control and requires Mom is be creative in suggesting positive activities.
Boundaries. Everyone needs them. The pack and play is a great place to teach your toddler boundaries. In fact, you can actually train them to play in their pack and play! I used to gate my son in his room when he was 3. He hated it at first, but then he got used to it and learned to play in it. I gated him in so I could still see him in his room but he couldn’t climb the gate and get out. When your kids learn to write, they have the boundary of the lines on the paper. When they go to school, they have the boundary of their classroom, their desk, their playground. Give them boundaries in your home. For example, when your bathroom door is shut, they are not aloud inside. For heavens sake, you should be able to pee in private. Teach boundaries every chance you get. They can learn to stay in their beds until 7am. Boundaries are a part of life and eventually, you will have conversations about body boundaries. You will find yourself saying things like, “No one touches you on the parts your swimsuit covers up.” We don’t touch people in personal places and spaces.” “We play with our clothes on at all times.” You get the idea.
Courage and Confidence. Every boy need courage in order to stand up for himself in this world…even if it means standing alone. Every girl needs confidence so that she doesn’t fall into the trap that a boy or that a relationship is her confidence. In addition, the more confidence and courage your kiddos have, the more likely they are to follow boundaries and have personal boundaries. Courageous and Confident people can withstand sexual pressure and can walk away when need be. This week, teach your kids some life ABC’s.