If you’re a family caregiver, you might feel like your emotions are all over the place.
Some days you and your loved one are the best of friends—but other days not so much.
You might feel like the much-appreciated hero in the morning—but by lunch, you apparently can’t do anything right.
The good news is that you’re not imagining things, and that you’re certainly not alone. Many caregivers experience a roller coaster of emotions when caring for their loved ones—and those who are receiving care often do, as well.
As a former family caregiver, I’m quite familiar with all of those emotions.
Plus, I’m a nerd and I love data like this.
It both affirms our experiences and can help us to address the dynamics we’d like to change. So let’s look at where that might be possible.
I love the phrase “unexpected joy”—and both caregivers and care recipients referred to it in the context of the benefits that caregiving provided for their relationship. Specifically, they said they enjoyed getting to know each other better and spending more time together.
I also found it interesting that among the regrets that caregivers expressed, included were “wishing they’d spent more time with their loved one,” and that they’d been more compassionate and emotionally prepared.
While caring for a loved one can be overwhelming at times, there are so many blessings that come along for the ride. Just like everyone else, the journey for Mom and me had its ups and downs—but together, we figured out how to tackle the hard stuff as a team, while recognizing and embracing our time together as the treasure that it was.
Put yourself in your loved one’s shoes—it’s not easy to be dependent on someone else and change is really hard.
Empower your loved one’s autonomy—being a partner in their care instead of an overbearing control freak.
Remember the power of words—and walk away if you’re about to say something you’ll regret.
Be present when you’re together—instead of worrying about everything else you have to do.
Play and have fun together—instead of just focusing on caregiving tasks.
Savor the time you have with each other—knowing that someday you’ll need those memories to carry you through.
Pray for yourself and each other—spending consistent quiet time with God to refresh and renew.
Remember that your loved one’s journey may be your own someday—since we’re all on life’s continuum together.