I think I am officially over my Grinch-Styled Pity Party. This was such a special time in my family. Mama (who was the organist at church) would be busy getting the music and choir ready for Midnight Mass while making oodles of candy and cookies for us. And then making sure we all had a few presents under the tree on top of that. I honestly have no idea how in the world she did it, and how she did it for so long.
When Will it Ease Up?
Right around Thanksgiving, I started feeling a little down. After Mama passed away I made sure I was at Mass with Daddy, especially if none of my siblings were able to be there. I knew the Midnight Mass in 2016 would be my last one with him. I couldn't bring myself to go last year; it was all I could do to make it through an earlier Mass. I keep wondering, "When will it ease up?" We had so many traditions growing up, most of which I passed on to my boys. That is what makes Christmas so special to me.
NOW I'm ready to put my tree up (and decorate it!) and do a little more decorating for Christmas. Will I bake or make candy? Probably not. CH & I definitely don't need it and the boys haven't expressed an interest. Christmas is going to look different for us this year: MS won't be home until Christmas Day so we won't have the traditional Christmas Eve Dinner; I'll save that until Christmas Day. He said all he wants is a french toast casserole that I make every year for brunch. Like I said, OS is across the country so he obviously won't be home. YS still lives here, so he'll be here.
I love Christmas; I always have. It's not about the presents (that's one thing I don't like about it) but it's about family and tradition. I still don't think the boys "get it" but hopefully when they start having kids they will. I hope that when CH & I are gone they will remember Christmas with fond memories and won't let the Grinch get a hold of them!
Hugs to you!! I can say, from personal experience, that it does get easier. Enjoy your sons!! Enjoy your hubby!! Enjoy the reason for the season.
((HUGS)) I pray that you have a very Merry Christmas. Things change and change is never easy. We must always count the many blessings that we do have.
I think this time of year is always a bit hard. The expectation, memory, sense of nostalgia and loss, all the doing... it's easy to feel grinch like. I'm glad you're regaining perspective, but don't be too hard on yourself. Grief is grief and it's natural to feel it more at the holidays when family has meant so much. Take care.