And GOD said unto Moses, "These are my commandments to party." Moses replied, "You mean rules?" "Not exactly," GOD rumbled. And so began the initiative to form a more perfect entertainer and all who followed this divine list of instructions became apostles, ever to become known as professional mobile disc jockeys.
I. Thou shalt not hire someone with CHEAP EQUIPMENT.
There is a difference between home audio equipment and a professional disc jockey's. We promise that our equipment will not cause electrical fires, crackling sounds or high-pitched tones. However, we cannot offer any disclaimers for the guests.
II. Thou shalt hire someone LICENSED and INSURED.
Professional mobile disc jockeys are entrepreneurs who are masters of their craft on a full-time basis. They are lots of other things too. But, for the most part, they are a pretty clean bunch of musical militia. They take their business seriously.
III. Thou shalt come with a BOOKING AGREEMENT.
All conditions and terms of our employment should be set into a legally binding agreement. With a written contract, everything is spelled out, including choice of music, duration of event and compensation. Everything is spelled out in black and white.
IV. Thou shalt take PRIDE in one's ATTIRE.
Just as equipment makes a difference, so does attire. A professional must have the appropriate and proper apparel at no extra charge.
V. Thou shalt offer a large MUSIC SELECTION.
Any eclectic music enthusiast may have quite a selection of music but a professional will have much more. This enables us to provide music for any occasion.
VI. Thou shalt field ANNOUNCEMENTS and REQUESTS.
A professional entertainer can locate even the most obscure tunes at a moment's notice. Then, they offer key announcements at the correct times. Or, we can rearrange the announcements for practical jokes. We can also tap dance, juggle fire and swallow swords during announcements.
VII. Thou shalt understand ETIQUETTE.
Ambiance must be created. A professional must have the experience necessary to read your guests and provide the 'right' music for the 'right' moments. You can't follow a Metallica song with a Ella Fitzgerald song. Actually you could, but people might question upcoming music selections.
VIII. Thou shalt provide REFERENCES.
Any experienced professional, in any profession, can provide ample references from satisfied clients. We attempted to get references from people that were not totally satisfied with our services but that never happens. Everybody loves us and has beautiful things to say.
IX. Thou shalt always have a TIMELY ARRIVAL.
Professionals always arrive at least 1 to 1.5 hours ahead of schedule--not only to move the equipment and set up for the event but, to field last minute changes in the event. Sometimes we'll even get to an event earlier, in order to chant to the God of Excellent Events to bless the festivity.
X. Thou shalt always have a BACK UP PLAN.
In the rare event that your entertainer is not able to perform at your function, we will have a substitute of equal professionalism. We have backup equipment as well.