It’s coming gents, our most dreaded day of the year. We suffer through the holidays and boom Valentine’s Day is on us like a duck on a June bug. Just what we need, another fake holiday to generate business for retailers. Hopefully the person in your life doesn’t place a lot of importance on this day, but if they do, it’s up to you to have a strategy. Most women just want an acknowledgement and mostly because their friends are going to ask them what you did, so you have to do something. We have carefully curated a list of ideas to keep you out of Chez Bow Wow on Valentine’s Day.
Re-enact your first date. This is a great idea for several reasons, one of which is it shows you put some thought into the day. Plan a nostalgic evening that captures how you met. Perhaps you met on the ski slopes or at a music venue. Get into it, wear the same shirt, eat and drink the same food and beverages from that special day. Chances are you picked a place you will still enjoy so it will be fun. Just don’t forget the card. After you buy the card you must write at least four sentences in it. Dont’ be a meathead and just sign it. The card is more important than the flowers. Don’t believe us, ask the nearest woman.
Skip School. Take the day off work, both of you. Do something youthful like ride bikes to the arcade or go hiking or skiing. Perhaps rent a motorcycle or a boat, but do it when you are supposed to be at work. Valentine’s Day is on a Tuesday this year and skipping school is still fun and exciting. This will be much more fun than going to a restaurant at 7pm with a bunch of plastic couples that lack any creativity and just want to check the box and get home to watch The Walking Hunger Thrones or their favorite news troll reporting on Trumps bowel movements. Skip School, all the cool kids are doing it.
Pretend To Meet At A Hotel Bar. Again, V-Day is coming so might as well have some fun with it and avoid the retail traps. Book a room at a swanky hotel near your house and ask your special someone to meet you there at 6pm. Ask her to dress nice. Dress strangely cool, maybe some sort of disguise like a fake mustache or a bow tie. Ham it up in front of the bartender and drink spy drinks like martini’s, scotch, Manhattans or French 75. Head to dinner or order room service. There is no need to worry about cleaning up so be decadent and messy.
Go To Your Favorite Dive Bar. Lets face it no matter what status you have achieved in life you are going to have more fun at your local dive bar than [Every City]’s small plate, craft cocktail, hipster, overpriced douchebag restaurant. The idea is to do something special, not necessarily fancy and if you have the right woman this will be a blast for you both. Go see the local band perform or karaoke and dance and drink tequila. Play Journey on the jukebox and serenade your lady with with some quality air guitar. Women dig the public expression of love especially if its slightly embarrassing for you.
Plan An Evening At Home. This may seem like the low hanging fruit but if it’s done right your darlin will be swept off her feet. The first chore is to get the kids out of the house, babysitter, grandma, the snotty kid next door with annoying parents, whatever, get em out. Next you need to assess what meal your culinary skills are capable of producing. The meal needs to be at least three courses. Don’t get out over your skis, stay in your lane grasshopper, but plan an appetizer, a main course and a dessert. Leave work a couple hours early and get home and start prepping. Pick up a couple Duraflame logs for the fire. Get the crackling logs to really set the mood when she arrives. Nothing says romance like a good fire, music, wine and a home cooked meal from you.
And don’t forget the card!