Let’s talk about how even in 2017, there is still SO MUCH stigma surrounding mental illness. That there are intense feelings of shame and guilt for the sufferer. Not to mention the judgement we might get from some people when they know or find out.
Let’s talk about how when you’re having an anxiety attack or spiralling downwards from depression that the feelings of loneliness and shame can be so possessing, almost insufferable; so in actuality: you want to ‘forget’ talking about them because you don’t even even want to be ‘living’ them.
Let’s talk about the fact that although you can be surrounded with loving family and friends — (for the most part) when you are mid attack or deep in depression, you are also feeling embarrassed, worthless, alone and genuinely unable to reach out.
I cannot speak for others, but can assure you that I would love to “get over it.” Whatever “it” is at that present moment in time (a downward spiral, an anxiety attack). However, I am also quite aware that much as I have tried, it doesn’t work that way. Please believe me when I tell you that living in my head is not a place I enjoy being. It’s a place where I ‘sit’ on edge, in hyper-sensitive mode 24/7, where I am anxious about EVERYTHING, and likewise (self) loathing. It’s most definitely not a loving place, it’s a place of constant (self) judgement and (self) criticism, it’s a place where every thing I say and do is over analyzed. Conversations I have (or don’t) and then catastrophic thinking “oh man, did I really say that? Do they hate me, did I talk too much?” and much, much more. It is a lonely place, indeed.
When things are spiralling, I don’t want to talk to anyone, see anyone, do anything, go anywhere – I want a cloak of invisibility so I can still walk my daughter to school, get errands done, etc but without having to really ‘be’ wherever I am. And all of this is for no other reason than I begin to turn inward, shut down.
Very well said. Having lived with panic attacks for the last 25 years of my life I know firsthand that whatever you’re feeling when you’re going through an “episode” is NOT an option and that you can’t “just get over it”. Depression, panick attacks, etc. are caused by a chemical imbalance and have nothing to do with how good your life is or isn’t. Personally, I’ve found that talking about my condition has helped me tremendously (1. it helps me when I’m having a panic attack to not want to just HIDE at that moment because that’s my instinct and I can just say to my friends or co-workers – I’m having a panick attack, can you go with me outside or can we leave? and 2. I’m educating people about mental illness). So, for all the people suffering from mental illness – open up about it to friends, co-workers, family. It’s hard to talk about it but it gets easier. You’ll be surprised how many other people are going through the same thing as you.
Thank you so much! It’s always nice to know we aren’t alone and hard as it is, we need to open up to those around us! Thanks for sharing your strategy and for visiting my blog!