Do something physical ….Play football, run or at least walk. Walk, it helps a lot.
As I write this, in a way the reason for me to write this is because it’s 3 am in the morning and since an hour and half now, my heart is gripped with fear. I woke up in the middle of the night because I had to finish some work, and ended up listening to a lecture in YouTube. That’s when I heard a sound of a burglary attempt in the front door. I am alone in the house, in a PG, my landlady is visiting her sister.
Above incident is not the point.
As my heart is, and still partially gripped with fear, I went through my social media feed to trick myself to distract from fear; to not dwell in my fear but focus on something else lest the fear consumes me and I ended up reading this blog and writing this.
In the frailty of my heart right now, I tell you I completely understand when you say about the heart, that it is sinking and shrinking in the confines of your chest. And I’m going through the same right now with fear attached to my heart. It’s like my heart is being pulled by extra gravitational force! But for me it’s momentary. When the dawn will come, my fear will leave my heart.
It’s not the same for depression. It doesn’t leave us when the time and season changes. But it follows wherever you go. Like a shadow it’s attached to your existence. WHO in their attempt to create awareness for depression, very aptly named it as ‘black dog’ (link below).
I had my own experiences of having a black dog around, completely overwhelmed by a sense of unworthiness and constantly battling with existential crisis.
It all ended a year ago.
And I remain grateful for everything. That phase of my life, now in retrospect, made me stronger. I feel confident and bold because I survived that.
It gave me a sense of purpose too. To be there for others and to understand those who are going through the same.
Once depression made me effect and destroy my relationships, now it is helping me to build relationships.
Trust me, this thing too shall pass for you.
Hope you’ll find true joy in the coming days.
Continue or (start if you don’t) to be grateful consistently/ purposively. It’s the real therapy: to be grateful!
Thank you so much Neena for writing about your experiences and taking the time out to read about mine. I’ve had an overwhelming response from friends who have gone through such feelings but have never spoken about it.
Many people have told me that this too shall pass. And I suppose over time it will. I can only hope.