the type of things that people won't expect to be done in person.
late payments or someone that you work with that is always late.
How do we have these conversations virtually in such a way that they won't get defensive?
okay, I'll do whatever I want.
Because, you can't see their face potentially.
Maybe this is a phone call conversation.
address sensitive issues with a virtual team.
the result is that it will be positive at the end.
Let's go through each one.
Don't address the individual's behavior or the individual's action, address a pattern.
Speak in the third person.
So, the person doesn't feel like they are being isolated. It's one sentence.
recently" versus "why are we so late?"
you know, I know that.
They're going to open up to you right away.
here's the thing that takes it to the next level is, you admit.
You admit your own shortcomings.
You admit the time that you also exhibited that pattern of behavior.
showing up late to things because I have too many things on my mind".
looking at it separately as a pattern of behavior that we are both guilty of.
Which means, I'm much more likely to communicate to you about it.
The third step is, to assess.
we've taken a pattern of behavior and we've put it over here.
you have also done this and we're looking at it.
Now, we assess the situation.
We get their perspective on why this pattern is occurring.
Let them talk as much as they want.
Get their ideas, their reasoning and the last step is, you ask.
We have a pattern of behavior we're both looking at we are both guilty of.
what do you think would be the best way to move forward?
What should we do about it? Ask the person.
come up with a good next step with one caveat.
It has to have an ending.
Well, why don't we try this for the next month and see how it works.
will make it easier for me to say yes.
So, here's what you've done in that last step by asking me.
not working I don't feel locked into a decision.
something else we can try.
change it into an uncomfortable sensitive conversation with a positive outcome.