This morning I was thinking about my cousin's upcoming wedding in NYC. It will be my first trip to the Big Apple and I am excited. And a little nervous but that's a whole other blog post.
Then my thoughts wandered to a wedding on my dad's side of the family this summer, a distant cousin. It's at the family's old homestead/farm that is still owned by distant family members.
Then, as thoughts are wont to do, they traveled down a different path. They were deceiving in their pursuit of a destination.
I didn't realize where they were going until it was too late. I was crouched under the spray of the shower crying.
An ache in my heart that I haven't felt in awhile.
I let it out, got out of the shower and got on with my day. I got a few things done around my house and then had this sudden desire to have tea. Tea with my Grandma.
I had had a day, a few weeks after she passed, where it hit me and I was so overwhelmed with sadness and grief. I just wanted to see her. To talk to her. To hear her tell me that she loved me. Just one more time.
It amazes me how it can hit you. Even just writing that last paragraph I'm sad. My throat hurts and I look at my screen through the blur of tears hitting for the second time today.
I went to talk to someone and shared that I had gotten a tea cup of hers.
This very smart person said, "So when you are feeling like you miss her, like you want to be with her, why not have tea with your Grandmother? Take out her tea cup and make yourself a cup of tea. Soak in the memories."
I was planning on sitting down and finally writing an original post today.
But decided to make myself that cup of tea first.
When you are missing a loved one, what brings you a bit of comfort?