The white lights reflecting off the ornaments of my Christmas tree look magical in the dark. The eight-foot Douglas Fir overpowers my living room, but whenever I look at its presence a peace relaxes my shoulders. I stare at the ornaments: some I hand-painted when I bought my first home; others gifts from friends or relatives; and mementos from trips I've taken. Two weeks ago, friends came over to decorate and each time I look at this tree I'm reminded that though I live alone, I'm wrapped in love by friendship. Tonight is the fist time I've stopped in some time. I've been pushing hard with work. I need to start my holiday shopping and prepare to leave for Boston on Sunday. The week is filled with holiday parties and at times I'm wondering how I'm going to fit two weeks worth of stuff into the next four days. These last few months, I've felt like I've moved away from going after my dreams, and living the life I've created, and returned to a life where work overwhelms my mind. I've become a grouch in the last couple of days and haven't enjoyed my own company. My brain seems to have forgotten how to take the time to experience the wonder and joys of life. I've wondered what the heck I'm doing.
It wasn't until I took a deep breath and stared at my tree in a moment of silence that I realized that though I'm not going out and traveling or riding roller coasters to check things off my list of 101 Dreams Come True, I'm still following my path. These last three months have been about taking risks to be financially in a position later to pursue the rest of my dreams. I have no idea if any of the hard work will pay off. At this point in my journey, I'm seriously jumping off a cliff and it scares the hell out of me. I've gotten to the point where I should back-off and take the safe path. It would be easier, less stressful and frankly I would probably sleep better at night.
But this journey was never about being safe. It's always been about taking the risk to go beyond what I believe I can do. It's about proving that dreams do come true. So in these moments where everything is pointing to taking the safe route all I can do is close my eyes, silence the inner worrier and say, "I want it all. I've experienced more wonder, excitement, adventure, magic, beauty, friendship, and love in the last two and a half years than I have in my entire life and if there is a chance that I can have more, then I have to go for it.
I've also realized in the last three months what many people's lives are like each and every day. They're racing to take care of their families, working long hours, and there isn't much time to stop and enjoy the moment. I realized how hard it is to pursue what you want when your to-do list doesn't feel like it's ever going to be done.
Stopping is so important. It's in the moments of silence that we can hear our own voice, cherish and find gratitude for what we have, and find the answers we need for our lives. So for a moment, in all your holiday rushing I invite you to stop, breathe, and find something beautiful that touches your heart. I promise, that in stopping you will be able to find the joy of all that this season has to offer.