Coming from the unincorporated town of rural Hockinson, Wash., then relocating to the hub of gay culture has rocked my world in more ways than one, I have never felt fully comfortable identifying as either dominant or submissive. But since being in the Bay Area, I have learned that this binary doesn’t need to exist. I am only beginning my life as a young rookie in the sexual world, and San Francisco has been my biggest challenge yet.
Each time I tell someone I’m “bi,” there’s an inherent fear of being invalidated and then not being able to substantiate myself. When I am drawn to someone’s looks or personality, I don’t see a man or a woman. I just see an attractive person. People ask me all the time if deep down I have more of a preference for one or the other, and honestly, I don’t. When it comes to loving somebody, gender is nothing but a social and physical constraint.