Your mama so old she still owes Jesus five bucks.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
A man with pain on his right knee consulted his doctor. Doctor said: "It is nothing to worry about. It is due to old age." Patient: "The left knee is of the same age. But how is it that leg does not pain?"