We all have this image in our minds of our ideal self, unencumbered by migraine. She doesn’t have migraine. She’s always well-rested, pain-free, and ready to tackle the day. All too often, we use this image as the standard by which we set our expectations. Unlike the perfect image in our mind, we have triggers to avoid, plus medication side effects that affect our performance and endurance. Trying to live up to this impossible standard is disappointing.
When we fail to meet these unrealistic expectations, it’s because we were setting goals for the wrong person. By making plans without considering our true limitations, we set ourselves up for failure before we even start. It’s a vicious cycle of failure, self-blame, and continuously reaching for the unreachable.
We don’t mean to break our promises. Our intentions are good. It’s our self-assessment that’s flawed. We can’t expect others to know our limitations if we act like we’re invincible. Sometimes we are guilty of “false advertising” by over-estimating our abilities. It is our responsibility to consider our limitations when making plans – especially when others are counting on us.
Make a list of everything you want to accomplish. Once you have it all down, set your priorities and set a tentative target date. Use this list to fill your calendar with daily tasks. It’s okay to keep a running list of things you’d like to accomplish as long as the list isn’t a negative reminder of what you haven’t done.
Take a second look at that list. Whatever you think you can accomplish in a single day, spread it out over two or three days instead. If you have tasks with firm deadlines, start early and give yourself at least twice the time you think you will need to complete it. Keep your task list relatively even from day to day, too.
Give yourself plenty of blank space on that calendar. A packed schedule will set you up for problems. If you finish a task early, resist the urge to jump right into the next thing on your list. Stop and enjoy the break.
Unexpected things happen, especially when you have migraine. With a roomy schedule, you can easily shift tasks to a later time slot. Give yourself plenty of time to deal with the interruption. Resist the urge to rush back to the list until the problem is resolve or you have fully recovered.
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