We all know what life is like on a cruise, and the stories of endless eating and drinking amid first class service of attentive staff. To go through the full details of our life on the open seas will probably sound more than familiar. Therefore, it would be fun to reflect on the curious episodes involving equally curious travelers who my husband and I encountered on board our three-day cruise to Ensenada, Mexico.
It’s the famous deck on the ship, with a copious buffet that beckons all to overindulge. Unfortunately, I cannot say that it was great on our cruise. Most of the food ranged between mediocre and horrible. It was part of the package, however, and most passengers felt ”obliged” to top their plates with mounds of food.
My body still twitches from that image.
At a table near ours, there was a woman sitting in front of her plate piled with food. Oddly enough, she barely touched it. She looked at her four children and suggested they hurry and get something to eat, too. “The buffet’s closing in a few minutes, and dinner is two hours away.” The family took stockpiling of food for an apocalypse to whole new level.
Oh, but the culinary extravaganza was just beginning.
The formal dinner was four stars all the way, with a selection of items to complete the four-course meal. The cuisine was delicious, and the elegance of the presentation of the small but reasonable portions enhanced the experience. However, not everyone felt the same as us.
The father of a family of six at the table next to us was all too quick to hold up the empty breadbasket to their waitress each time she walked by and urged her to keep the bread coming. “How much longer do we have to wait until our food arrives? We’re starving over here.” Trust me when I say they all needed to cut carbs from their diets.
Some people just ooze with class.
Two couples stylishly dressed near us were quietly enjoying their steaks and sipping neon-colored cocktails until one of the men raised his glass and beamed a smile befitting a toothpaste commercial. “Let’s hurry and finish, so that we can still hit the buffet. I heard they’ve got popcorn shrimp.” His three companions burst in excitement and clinked their glasses together, as if this were the best idea their friend ever had. I never knew that small, deep-fried, battered morsels could spark such excitement.
Our first port of call was Ensenada, Mexico, a small city that makes most of its income from the three cruise ships that dock each week. It’s really everything you would expect, but there are two parts to the excursion that many passengers didn’t expect: 1) going through customs to get into Mexico and 2) passing through security to re-board the ship.
Obviously, he didn’t get the memo that to enter Mexico you need proper proof of citizenship. Although this has been the law for a long time, he wasn’t the only passenger who acted as if the US and Mexican governments jointly sprung this legislation into action earlier that morning.
When we returned to the boat later that afternoon, it appeared as if most of the people had tied a few on between their bouts of shopping in Ensenada. For some reason, four young woman in front of us seemed to have found that drinking in Mexico was great, but using the restrooms in the country wasn’t an option.
The line to go through ship security was long, and the crew were checking bags and people for things they couldn’t bring on board. The girls were visibly impatient, crossing their legs and doing the pee-pee dance. They expressed their urgent calls of nature, but their pleas to jump ahead and pass by security appeared to have fallen on deaf ears. It was an opportune time for me to reminisce with my husband about our trip to Niagra Falls, and how we were fascinated by all that water rushing over the edges, pounding the rocks below and drenching passengers in a showers of mist as they sailed by. Good times, good times.
When it was finally the women’s turn to go through security, they threw their bags at the officers. “What part of ‘I have to pee’ doesn’t make sense to you?” Unfortunately, all that waiting was too much for one of them. Let’s just say there was no gold star for her to have a dry day.
Yes, cruise vacations are times to splurge. $10 here, $20 there, just charge it to the room. And why not? We all work hard during the year, and we deserve this precious reward of escaping reality, if only for a few days. At the end of it, however, the reality of life can slap some passengers across the face with a rubber glove.
Well, as the old saying goes: Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.
We had so much fun on the cruises?
Christina: Looked like the ship we were on.
I’ve yet to go on a cruise but I think I have to at least once in my lifetime!
Remember this cruise and it was very fun. I guess the story is way funnier than I could remember. Love your humor and the writing style.
It must be fun always meeting new people on board.