i got back to room 43 , but the colonel was n't home yet , so i left the note on the top bunk and sat down at the computer , and i wrote my way out of the labyrinth : before i got here , i thought for a long time that the way out of the labyrinth was to pretend that it did not exist , to build a small , self-sufficient world in a back corner of the endless maze and to pretend that i was not lost , but home .