memories came at her like a kaleidoscope : gran braiding her hair for her seventh birthday party , telling her that her mommy might show up if she prayed hard enough , and then years later admitting that sometimes god did n't answer a little girl 's prayers , or a grown woman 's , either ; or playing cards last week , laughing as tully swept up the discard pile-again-saying , `` tully , you do n't have to have every card , all the time ... '' ; or kissing her goodnight so gently .