so i embarrass myself by being completely honest with him about the fact that ive never had a boyfriend , or dated , or even held hands with a guy , or talked on the phone with a guy or anything of the sort -- and believe me , i desperately wanted to tell him why i was so pre-occupied growing up , so maybe i wouldnt look like such a loser -- surprisingly he just grins and nods with a caring look on his face , as if he finds the whole thing endearing .