feasting , dancing , singing , pictures , statues , relics , church bells , organs ( both kinds ) , altar candles , indecent and/or irreligious songs , staging and/or attending theatrical plays , the wearing of make-up , jewellery , lace and/or immodest dress , speaking disrespectfully of your betters , extravagant entertainment , swearing , gambling , playing cards , hunting , drunkenness , naming children after anyone but figures from the old testament , reading immoral and/or irreligious books , masturbation , and sexual intercourse ( except within marriage and then not on sundays , holy and/or feast days , wednesdays , fridays , during lent , advent or christmas , and/or during menstruation ) `` in other words , '' gasped jazey , `` everything that make life fun and worthwhile . ''