i imagined the things that he might be saying to whoever was on the other end of the line : passing on the information that i wasnt in my house and that it was free for breaking in and ransacking ; discussing why i had been at the post office and probably arriving at the conclusion that i must have figured out their plot to make my keys sometimes almost not quite fit in the lock ; planning the next move , like replacing my mouse with one slightly less ergonomic so that after several years i would develop carpel tunnel syndrome and be unable to publish my findings on the internet [ 5 ] .