now , with the aid of psylocybin , i realized that it was an extremely unlikely thing to happen , so after i wrote and published my biography to the internet i just did the sensible thing and taped a hair over my hat closet door so that if i ever did happen to go for opening the door and saw that the hair had been dislodged , id call the police ; i wouldnt be caught unawares by the grunting , mostly unclothed man in my closet , squatting down over an upturned , unwilling bowler hat with his genitals resting inside it against the soft , cool , velvet interior .