first edition : november 2012 for julie and mcclane i am still living with your ghost lonely and dreaming of the west coast i do n't want to be your downtime i do n't want to be your stupid game with my big black boots and an old suitcase i do believe i 'll find myself a new place i do n't want to be the bad guy i do n't want to do your sleepwalk dance anymore i just want to see some palm trees i will try and shake away this disease we can live beside the ocean leave the fire behind swim out past the breakers watch the world die i am still dreaming of you face hungry and hollow for all the things you took away i do n't want to be your good time i do n't want to be your fall-back crutch anymore i 'll walk right out into a brand new day insane and rising in my own weird way i do n't want to be the bad guy i do n't want to do your sleepwalk dance anymore i just want to feel some sunshine i just want to find some place to be alone we can live beside the ocean leave the fire behind swim out past the breakers watch the world die as he sat propped up on his bed , clutching his prescription bottle of oxycontin in his brittle hand , mark briggs thought back to a time before his life had derailed .