suppose i , after closing the book on protestantism , from the wailing of snake handlers and the jabbering of those who speak in tongues to the chanting of divines in the high church of england , had eventually returned to mother church , even as a nonbeliever , and had taken the sacraments as merely symbolic wafer and wineare they any closer to flesh and blood than the methodists bread and grape juice ? and had said prayers with my fingers crossed , and had renounced and retreated from the world of my fellowmen and women .