there was no sobbing sound , just the sound of air going in and then a rending pop of breath released in a half-cough , half-shoutgrief and pain coming out of the form that would grow rigid and then soft in an alternating fashion ; grief and pain like oil and coolant finding the places now where the gasket of years finally was wearing thin , giving way , while his voice made the sound , the sputter of an engine coughing .