`` i , paladin arthaxiom the great , deliverer of light , slayer of evil and wicked , guardian of the ancient secret of the holy mysterious summoning of the mythical archpegasus , apostle of the rainbow sturgeon , holder of the hidden antique malodorous anvil of ancient knowledge , thirty-ninth warrior of the joyous beige dragon , crushing flame from the eerie enchanted eastern island , turquoise spearman of heavens , sword of justice in the gloom of uncertainty , challenge you , the eight-and-a-half-headed minotaur dragon , terror of abdynyfyland , defenestrator of goats , devourer of cows , pigs , horses , donkeys , geese , meese , turkeys , aardvarks and pineal glands to a battle to death , without pardon nor remorse ! ''