with the soothing coolness penetrating my overheated cranium , i began to relax and allow my thoughts to drift back in time to a place where i sat alone atop a picnic table resigned to going back to my hide out , an rv parked at the texas coast , to escape from life a place where my greatest concern dealt with the heat and humidity sucking the will to live out of all those not strong enough to endure south texas summers without air conditioning .