only after appeal to your lordship could i satisfy mine own conscience that i had done my duty in avoiding what i can the shedding of blood and the ruin of this island ; for although i may by some be looked upon as an enemy , yet really i do you office of a friend in urging your lordship and those engaged with you to judge of the necessity of your lordship 's and their giving their due obedience to the state of england or else to suffer yourselves to be swallowed up in the destruction which a little time must inevitably bring upon you , which i can not suppose rational men would wish .