`` until i saw this lovely girl in seattle , with big gold eyes , and pink , full lips ... and i wondered if she could understand me ... '' her chest heaves , and i bend closer and scent her , pulling the towel up to cover her body before i break down and take this little body of my dreams , and f**k this woman of my life , and let her shatter me when she realizes who i am , what i am , and what is completely f**ked-up about me .