i closed my eyes for a moment , summoning up a wistful vision of this haven of delight , then opened them to reality : a crusted griddle , black with the remnants of scorched oatcake ; soggy shoes and frozen feet ; damp clothes that chafed with grit and sand ; hampers whose abundance had dwindled to a single loaf of bread-well-nibbled by mice-ten apples , and a heel of cheese ; three screeching babies ; one frazzled young mother with sore br**sts and cracked n**ples ; one expectant bride with a case of incipient nerves ; one white-faced serving-maid with menstrual cramps ; four slightly inebriated scotsmen-and one frenchman in similar condition-who wandered in and out of camp like bears and were not going to be any help whatever in packing up this evening ... and a deep , clenching ache in my lower belly that gave me the unwelcome news that my own monthly-which had grown thankfully much less frequent than monthly of late-had decided to keep lizzie 's company .