whatever he had felt for me was n't enough to get him past the hurt he was feeling and it came nowhere near the heart wrenching emotion i had for him so as much as it nearly killed me , as much as it pained me to let it go after so much time i had to get over him , had to work at moving on because even if he did get back in touch with me there was just too great a chance he had relapsed into his old ways and there was just simply no way i was going to survive that kind of betrayal from someone i cared so deeply about .