before that tore me apart and made me act like a troubled adolescent with a chip on his shoulder , now i knew i was going home to a kick ass job , a rock star brother , a smoking hot girl that happened to be totally into me issues and all and to a solid group of friends that were willing to put up with me and have my back no matter what and while the hole that remy 's death left would never really be filled , i was living a good life and they should be proud of me and if they were n't they could just piss off .