he 's a shadowhunter warrior who believes in physical strength above all else , a narrow-minded megalomaniac and a first-class manipulator who lets his `` son '' jace take a bath in spaghetti on his birthday but also breaks the neck of jace 's pet falcon , just to teach jace the lesson that `` to love is to destroy '' ... which i guess means that valentine really , really loves the clave , his family , and downworlders , because he wants to destroy all of that and rebuild it to suit his `` pure '' sensibilities .