for years , jude had worried that she would forget her daughter , that time would somehow sand away her memories until nothing solid was left , but now , sitting here in the sunshine , holding her balloons , she remembered everything-how mia used to suck her thumb and stroke her stuffed puppy 's satin paws , how she used to break into a run just before she saw jude in the carpool lane , how she ate her oranges in sections , tearing away every tiny speck of white , how in a hurry she was to grow up .