worse than al of that , though , was that while she was now sober , lying alone in her bed with grace there looking so grim , and the light of day shining through the windows and spotlighting her in her shame , had she woken natural y and alone with richard , christiana knew she might very wel have merely rol ed over , cuddled up close and begun to kiss and caress him awake to initiate another round of the consummation .