my inner critic told me to put myself down , that my wild , matted blonde hair and my too-tight jeans that stretched over h*ps wider than a goal post were turn offs , that he was only staring at me because he was stupid enough to be caught nak*d on the interstate , hundreds of miles from home , or because , because , because ... a calmer core inside told me to shut than damn inner critic off and let my inner goddess ( no , not that one ) shine through .