1.Yu mekem hemia olsem wan gel
(Yu ran olsem wan gel, yu crae olsem wan gel, yu stronghed olsem wan gel, yu stadi matematics olsem wan gel, yu pleple futbol olsem wan gel...)
Taem yu talem tok tok olsem ia, hemi minim se gel oli wik, oli no gud lo spot mo saens, oli mo emotionol bitim boe mo pawa (phyiscal mo mental) hemi blo boe nomo.
2.Boe oli boe
Taem yu explainem se vaelens (faet, insults, o jikim gel) hemi se fram ol boe hemi olsem ia, hemi minim se vaelens hemi natural blong boe mo oli no save mekem wan narafala fasin. Tok tok ia hemi makem vaelens wan normal fasin.
Boe oli save respektem bodi mo ol samting blong yumi sapos yumi tijim ol boe wan narafala fasin.
Lawrence Cohen, wan man America wea hemi dokta blong maend, hemi talem se ol vaelens blong ol boe hemi fram oli no gat inaf kontakt (hugs, olem olgeta, etc.). Ol boe wea hemi makem no gud fasen olsem ia, hemi fram olgeta hemi tink se oli mas aktem olsem wan strong boe.
3.Boe oli no crae
Boe tu oli gat emotion olsem yumi evriwan. Expressem emotion hemi impotent blong boe mo gel.
Expressem emotion i save hilim yumi. Crae crae hemi gud blong helt blo hed/maend blong yumi.
Sapos wan man or woman hemi kross lo wan pikinini wea hemi expressem emotion blong em, blong pikinini ia, hemi no isi blong hilim wanem i mekem hemi kros. Hemi mas karem aot emotion ia. Sapos no, hemi stap insaed long heart mo head blong hem. Afta hemi harem no gud mo makem no gud fasin.
Yumi laf lo ol boe wea hemi crae be yumi sek sek taem ol boe oli distroyem wan samting o kilim wan man insted of crae crae nomo. – Lawrence Cohen
4.Pink emi blong gel
Oli kala oli no blong wan gender nomo. Ting ting olsem ia hemi mekem se yumi no tritim boe mo gel semak.
Ol ting ting olsem hemi marketing nomo, boe hemi no save yusum baesikel blong big sista blong hem so yumi nidim pem wan niu baesikel blong hem.
5.Dress/long hair emi blong gel nomo
Sapos wan boe hemi wantem wearem wan dress mo makem se hair hemi long, hemi wan fasin wea hemi no stap long gel nomo. Sapos ol gel hemi save wearem trousers mo cuttem hair blong hem i short, fram wanem ol boe hemi no save wearem dress mo makem se hair i long?
I’m not ashamed to dress like a woman because I don’t think it’s shameful to be a woman.– Iggy Pop
6.Hugs, pleple wetem dol, raetem poems, pleple musik, singsing, danis, hemia blong gel nomo.
Blong challengem ting ting lo saed blong gender stereotypes, hemi gud blo mekem emotional link bakegen. Empathy mo kindness, hemi emotional intelligens, wea yumi save tijim taem mifala buildem up wan gudfala relationship wetem pikini blong yumi. Hemi no wan book or wan lesson wea hemi tijim emotional intelligens.
Yumi save tijim wetem pleple tu. Wan bigfala problem blong challengem gender stereotypes hemi se evrisamting wea i save helpem boe oli mo klos long famili mo frens blong olgeta, ol man hemi ting ting se hemi “blong gel” nomo – cadels, pleple wetem dol, ridim or raetem poetri, pleple wan instrument, sing sing, danis. Hemi tru se i gat moa gel wea i gat interest long hem be i gat ol boe wea oli gat interest long sabjek ia tu.
Taem ol boe hemi mekem aktiviti ia, oli riskim blong stoppem fasin ia fraem oli fraet sapos ol pipol hemi stap laf lo olgeta. Wanem hemi kranki se hemi isi blong mekem ol boe oli pleple wetem dol. I gat fulap stadis wea oli soem se sapos ol boe hemi lukluk ol movies wea dadi hemi stap luk aot bebi, hemi encouragem ol boe blong mekem samek fasin. Be sosaeti blong yumi nomo oli no wantem hemia.
Yumi wantem se ol boe oli bihave olsem wan gudafala dadi hu laekem pikinini blo olgeta be mifala no wantem riskim se ol boe oli bihave “girlie” (“effeminate”) – Lawrence Cohen
7.Taem wan gel hemi talem “no”, hemi minim “yes”
Hemi impotent blong eduketem ol boe (mo gel) lo consent. Respektem bodi mo nid blong narawan yumi mas stat taem yu pikinini.
Blong yumi wea mifala mummy mo daddy, yumi mas askem permisen mo talem pikinini bifo yu tajem hem (blong wasem, klinim, etc..)
Yumi save talem long ol pikinini se sapos wan man hemi talem stop, yumi mas respektem toktok blong hem mo stoppem fasin ia (olsem taem yu tiklim hem)
Yumi mas rispektem pikinini taem hemi no wantem mekem wan bisou mo hug blong talem halo. I gat narafala wei blong talem halo: highfives, shek hands, smael, wan wod, etc…
Long saed blong edukesen long consent, yumi mas stopem ol boe taem hemi jikim gel from hemi laekem hem (mo no talem long gel se sapos wan boe i jikim yu hemi minim se hemi laekem hem). Taem yu jikim samwan (gel mo boe) taem hemi no wantem, hemi no wan pleple, hemi wan behaviour wea i no stret.
8.Wanem hemi mekem wea i mekem yu kilim hem?
Taem yu askem wan boe wanem viktim blong hem i bin mekem blong risivim vaelens, hemi minim se i gat wan rison blong kilim hem. I no gat wan reason blong kilim wan naraman. Taem yu tok tok olsem, hemi victim blaming.
Hemi mo beta blong askem ol pikinini wanem i hapen so yumi gat wan beta understanding blong problem.
Taem yu harem tok tok blong wan pikinini wea hemi killem wan naraman, hemi posibol blo tijim ol pikinini se hemi gat narafala fasin blong solvem problem wetem no vaelens. Hemi minim se yumi mas tijim ol boe mo gel sam wei blo komiunikeit we oli no vaelent (toktok, go bak lo kalm).
Hemi minim tu se yumi no mas yusum vaelens wetem olgeta, from ol pikinini hemi makem olsem wanem mifala mummy mo daddy i makem lo laef mo haos blong yumi. Taem yu killem wan man, pikinini tu hemi tink se hemi stret blong killem wan man. Taem yu tok tok wetem wan gudfala fasin, pikinini tu hemi tok tok wan gudfala fasin.
Translated by Gaga, mother of one boy and soon another baby, wife, singer, dancer and photographer at Groovy Banana
Photography by Groovy Banana
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