Olsem ol man blong prishud, yumi gat wan impoten rol blong plei long sosaeti, long hom, mo insaed long Jos.
Ol brata. Oli bin talem mo raetem plante samting long ol yia we i jes pas long saed blong ol jalenj blong ol man mo ol boe. Sam buk, taetol blong olgeta i go olsem, Why There Are No Good Men Left (From Wanem I Nomo Gat Ol Gudfala Man i Stap), ,The Demise of Guys (Ded blong Ol Man), ,The End of Men (En blong Ol Man), ,Why Boys Fail (From Wanem Ol Boe Oli Stap Foldaon), mo Manning Up (Stap Kam Olsem Man). I gud blong luk se plante long ol buk ia, ol woman nao oli raetem. Long eni kes, i gat wan semfala toktok we i stap go tru long ol stadi buk ia, we i talem se long plante sosaeti tedei, ol man oli stap kasem ol signol we i mekem olgeta i konfius o i agensem olgeta long saed blong rol blong olgeta mo ol valiu long sosaeti.
Man we i raetem Manning Up (Stap Kam Man), i putum long wei ia: “Kolosap i kam wan rul raon wol abaot laef blong man se, ol gel, oli kam woman taem bodi blong olgeta i jenis i kam woman; mo ol boe oli mas pasem wan tes. Oli nidim blong soem se oli gat strong paoa long tingting, oli strong long bodi, o oli save mekem samting wetem han blong olgeta. Gol ia, i blong oli pruvum se oli naf blong protektem ol woman mo ol pikinini; hemia, oltaem i bin fas sosol wok blong olgeta. Be tedei, wetem ol woman we oli kam antap long bigfala ekonomi, ol hasban mo papa we oli putum bred long tebol i kam olsem wan joes, mo ol kwaliti long fasin blong man we oli bin nidim blong mekem rol blong olgeta—olsem strong man, no komplen, strong paoa long tingting, stap fetful long waef—naoia i nomo nid mo samtaem i mekem olgeta i sem.”1
Olgeta we oli stap pusum blong i mas gat moa janis blong ol woman, mo hemia i samting we mifala i glad from, i gat olgeta we oli stap daonem man mo wok blong olgeta. Oli ting se laef i wan kompetisen bitwin man mo woman—se wan i mas rul ova long narawan, mo naoia, i taem blong ol woman. Sam oli toktok, oli se wok blong wan masta i evri samting mo mared laef mo pikinini, oli blong stap olsem wan joes—sapos i olsem, from wanem nao yumi nidim man? 2 Long tumas muvi blong Holiwud, TV mo netwok so, mo tu, long ol advataesmen, oli stap soem man olsem man we i no save mekem samting, i no gat tingting, o i ting long hemwan nomo. Fasin ia blong daonem ol man, i stap spolem ol man.
Eksampol, long Yunaeted Stet, oli ripotem se: “Ol gel oli wok gud moa bitim ol boe long evri level, stat long praemeri skul i go kasem klas 6. Taem oli kasem Yia 8, eksampol, 20 pesen nomo long ol boe oli mekem gud blong raet, mo 24 pesen oli gud long riding. Ol mak blong go long kolej blong ol yang man, long yia 2011, oli ol mak we oli moa nogud blong ol las 40 yia. Folem Nasonal Senta blong Edukesen Statistik (NCES), ol boe, i gat 30 pesen janis bitim ol gel blong oli finis nomo long sekendri skul. … Oli lukluk se ol woman bae oli winim 60 pesen blong ol bajela, 63 pesen bae i karem Masta pepa, mo 54 pesen bae oli karem pepa blong dokta digri long yia 2016. Tu studen aot long tri long ol spesel edukesen program ia oli ol man.”3
Sam man mo yang man oli tekem ol nogud signol ia olsem wan eskius blong ronwe long responsabiliti, mo neva rili groap. Long wan tingting we plante taem, i tru, wan profesa blong yunivesiti i talem: “Ol man, oli kam long klas wetem fored blong hat blong olgeta i luk i gobak biaen, mo givim eskius, “kompiuta i lusum evri wok blong mi.” Be long semtaem, ol woman oli stap jekem plan buk blong olgeta, mo oli stap askem wan pepa blong givim i go long loa skul.”4 Wan woman we i stap givim tingting long saed blong ol muvi i talem tingting ia we i nogud smol: “Bae yumi dipen long wan man from wanem? Sapos yumi laki mo jusum blong gat wan patna, bae i hemia nomo—wan patna. Wan we i stap long kona blong hem mo semtaem hem i respektem blong mi blong stanap long kona blong mi.”5
Ol brata. Hemia i no save stap olsem wetem yumi. Olsem ol man blong prishud, yumi gat wan impoten rol blong plei long sosaeti, long hom, mo insaed long Jos. Be yumi mas stap ol man we ol woman oli save trastem, we ol pikinini i save trastem, mo we God i save trastem. Insaed long Jos mo kingdom blong God long ol las dei ia, yumi no save letem yumi gat ol boe mo ol man we oli stap glis i go aotsaed. Yumi no save gat ol yang man we oli no gat disiplin long olgetawan mo oli stap nomo blong man i mekem gud long olgeta. Yumi no save gat ol yang adalt man we oli no gat tingting long fiuja blong olgeta, we oli no series blong gat wan famle mo stap mekem ril gud wok long wol ia. Yumi no save gat ol hasban mo ol papa we oli no stap givim lidasip insaed long hom. Yumi no save gat olgeta we oli stap yusum Tabu Prishud, folem Oda blong Pikinini blong God, blong oli westem paoa blong olgeta long ponografi, o spendem laef blong olgeta long wan wol we i no tru (mo long wei ia, oli blong wol, be oli no stap insaed long wol ia.)
Ol brata. Yumi gat wok blong mekem.
Ol Yang man. Yufala i nid blong mekem gud long skul, mo afta, gohed long skul blong yufala i go bitim sekendri skul. Sam long yufala bae i wantem gohed blong skul long yunivesiti mo gat gud wok long bisnis, agrikalja, gavman, o ol nara wok. Sam bae oli kam gud long art, miusik, o long tijing. Ol narawan, bae oli jusum wan wok blong ami o lanem wan bisnis. Ova long ol yia, mi bin gat plante wokman we oli gat spesel wok, long ol projek mo mekem gud haos blong mi, mo mi bin laekem blong luk hadwok mo skil blong ol man ia. Nomata wanem we yu jusum, hem i nid blong yu mas mekem gud wok blong mekem se yu save sapotem wan famle, mo mekem gud insaed long komuniti mo kantri blong yu.
Mi jes luk wan vidio we i soem wan dei long laef blong wan boe blong 14 yia, long India we nem blong hem Amar. Hem i girap eli mo wok long tu wok, bifo mo afta long skul, sikis mo haf dei long wan wik. Mane blong hem i givhan bigwan long laef blong famle. Hem i hariap i gobak hom long olfala baeskel blong hem afta long seken wok blong hem, long tudak, mo i gat taem blong tekem sam aoa blong mekem homwok bifo hem i foldaon long bed blong hem long floa, i silip bitwin ol brata mo sista blong hem long leven klok long naet. Nomata mi neva mitim hem, mi filim se mi praod long hem from strong tingting mo strong paoa long tingting blong hem. Hem i stap mekem bes wetem smol samting mo janis we hem i gat, mo hem i wan blesing long famle blong hem.
Yufala, ol adalt man—ol papa, ol singgel adalt, ol lida, ol hom tija—stap ol eksampol we yufala i klin inaf mo helpem jeneresen we i stap kam antap blong ol boe blong oli kam man. Tijim olgeta ol sosol mo narafala skil: olsem wanem blong gat wan gudfala storian, olsem wanem blong kam blong save man mo toktok wetem ol narafalawan, olsem wanem blong toktok mo andastanem ol woman mo ol gel, olsem wanem blong givhan, olsem wanem blong stap aktiv mo glad long gud taem, olsem wanem blong gat ol nara samting blong mekem be i no blong fas long hem blong nomo save lego, olsem wanem blong stretem ol mistek mo mekem ol joes we oli gud moa.
So, long evriwan we i stap lisin, long weples mesej ia i stap kasem yu, mi talem se Jehova i talem long Josua, “Stap Strong mo gat strong paoa long tingting” (Josua 1:6). Gat strong paoa long tingting mo rere, long bes wei we yu save mekem, mo nomata wanem situesen blong yu. Rere blong stap wan gud hasban mo papa; rere blong stap wan sitisen we i gud mo i mekem wok; rere blong wok blong Lod, we prishud blong Hem nao yu holem. Long weaples yu stap long hem, Papa blong yumi long Heven i stap tingting long yu. Yu no stap yuwan; yu gat prishud mo presen we i Tabu Spirit.
Aot long ol plante ples we oli nidim yu, wan long ol moa impoten wan nao, hem i prishud kworom blong yu. Yumi nidim ol kworom we oli givim kakae long saed blong spirit long ol memba long Sandei mo we oli save givim seves. Yumi nidim ol lida blong ol kworom we oli lukluk moa blong mekem wok blong Lod mo blong sapotem ol memba blong kworom mo ol famle blong olgeta.
Tingting long misinari wok. Ol yang man. Yufala i no gat taem blong westem. Yufala i no save wet se bae yufala i jes series blong stap rere long taem we bae yufala i gat 17 o 18 yia nomo. Ol kworom blong Aronik Prishud oli save helpem ol memba blong olgeta blong andastanem promes mo kavenan blong prishud mo rere blong kasem odinesen olsem ol elda, oli save helpem olgeta blong andastanem mo rere from ol odinens blong tempol, mo oli save helpem olgeta blong oli rere blong gat sakses long ol misin. Ol kworom blong Melkesedek Prishud mo Rilif Sosaeti oli save helpem ol papa mo mama blong oli mekem rere ol misinari we oli save Buk blong Momon mo bae oli go long misin wetem ful tingting. Mo long wanwan wod mo branj, ol semfala kworom ia oli save lidim wan wok wetem ol fultaem misinari we oli stap sev long eria blong olgeta.
Wan wok we i semmak, we i stap faswan antap long prishud solda, i singaot blong Sevya, we Presiden Tomas S. Monson i talem bakegen, blong sevem olgeta we oli go longwe long gospel, o oli no glad from eni risen. Yumi bin gat ol gudfala sakses long wok ia, mo ol yang man tu oli mekem wan gud wok. Wan Aronik Prishud kworom long Rio Grande Spen Wad long Albukarki, Niu Meksiko, oli toktok tugeta long huia bae oli tekem i kambak, mo afta, olsem wan grup, oli go visitim wanwan long olgeta. Wan i talem: “Taem oli bin kam long doa blong mi, mi filim se mi mi impoten,” mo narafalawan i talem: “Mi filim glad insaed long mi se wan man i wantem tumas blong mi go long jos; mekem se naoia, mi wantem go long Jos.” Taem ol memba blong kworom oli bin invaetem wan yang man blong kambak, oli bin askem hem blong go wetem olgeta long nekis visit, mo hem i bin go. Oli no stap invaetem hem nomo blong kam long jos; wantaem nomo, oli stap mekem hem i kam pat blong wan kworom.
Wan narafala wok blong prishud we i had be i intresting, hem i wok blong famle histri mo tempol. Wet blong kasem wan leta blong Fas Presidensi we bae i kam i no longtaem we bae i givim wan niu koling bakegen mo wan visen we i moa hae long impoten pat blong wok ia we yumi mas mekem.
Ol kworom blong yumi tu oli stap olsem wan grup blong ol brata we i givim sapot long wanwan long olgeta. Presiden Godon B. Hinkli, wantaem i bin talem: “Hem i wan gudfala dei, ol brata blong mi—Bae hem i wan dei blong mekem ol stamba tingting blong Lod—taem ol prishud kworom blong yumi oli kam wan angka blong paoa long evri man we i stap long kworom ia, mo taem wan i save talem, ‘mi wan memba blong wan prishud kworom blong Jos blong Jisas Kraes blong Ol Lata-dei Sent. Mi stanap ia, mi rere blong givhan long ol brata blong mi long evri nid we oli gat, from se mi gat tras se oli stanap, rere blong givhan long ol nid blong mi. Taem yumi wok tugeta, yumi save stanap, yumi no sem mo no fraet, agensem evri win blong enemi we i save blo, nomata i long saed blong mane, sosol, o long saed blong spirit.”6
Nomata ol traehad blong yumi, ol samting i no wok oltaem olsem we yumi plan from, mo wan “win blong agens” we i save kam long laef blong wan man, hem i taem hem i nomo gat wok. Wan Jos welfea pamflet blong bifo i talem: “Wan man we i no wok, i wan wari long Jos from se, hem i no wok, hem i stap long tes semmak olsem Job i bin stap long tes—tes blong fasin blong stap tru. Taem ol dei oli go kasem wik mo manis, mo yia blong hadtaem, harem nogud ia i stap gro bigwan mo … Jos i no save hop blong sevem wan man long Sandei sapos we, long taem blong wik, hem i stap lukluk hem nomo i gotru long tes mo i no mekem wan samting from.”7
Long Epril 2009, foma Prisaeding Bisoprik kaonsela Rijad K. Edgli, i talem storian blong wan eksampol blong wan kworom we oli wok wan blong givhan long wan memba we i bin lusum wok blong hem:
“Fil Mekanik blong Sentavil, Yuta, i wan testeman blong wanem wan prishud lidasip mo wan kworom i save mekem. Fil i bin wan memba blong wan kworom blong ol elda, mo i bin wok olsem wan mekanik long wan lokol garaj. Sore tumas, garaj ia we Fil i stap wok long hem, i gat trabol long mane, mo i mas sakem Fil long wok blong hem. Fil i harem nogud long wanem i hapen.
“Taem hem i harem se Fil i lusum wok blong hem, Bisop blong hem, Leon Olson, mo presidensi blong kworom blong ol elda oli bin prea, mo tingting long sam wei we bae oli save helpem Fil blong stanap hemwan bakegen. Yes, hem i wan memba blong kworom, wan brata mo hem i nidim help. Oli luk se Fil i gat talen blong ranem bisnis blong hemwan. Wan long ol memba blong kworom i glad blong givim olfala haos blong hem we bae oli save yusum olsem garaj. Wan nara memba blong kworom i save help blong kasem ol tul mo ol saplae blong putum long garaj blong hem. Kolosap evriwan insaed long kworom i save help blong klinim olfala haos ia.
“Oli bin serem ol tingting blong olgeta wetem Fil; afta, oli serem plan blong olgeta wetem ol memba blong kworom. Oli klinim olfala haos mo mekem i kam niu, putum tugeta ol tul blong wok, mo evri samting i kam long oda. Fil Mekanik i kam wan sakses, mo afta, i muv i go long wan ples we i moa gud—evri samting ia, from ol kworom brata blong hem oli bin glad blong givhan long taem blong wan hadtaem.”8
Yes, olsem we ol profet oli bin stap ripitim longtaem finis i kam, “Wok blong Lod we i moa impoten we bae yu save mekem, bae yu mekem insaed long ol wol blong hom blong yuwan.”9 Yumi gat fulap samting blong mekem, blong mekem se mared i kam strong moa long ol sosaeti we oli stap daonem mared mo stamba tingting blong hem. Yumi gat plante samting blong mekem blong tijim ol pikinini blong yumi blong prea, mo blong wokbaot stret long fored blong Lod (luk long D&C 68:28). Wok blong yumi i nomo blong helpem ol pikinini blong yumi blong gat bigfala jenis long hat, o jenisim laef i go long Lod we oli tokbaot bigwan insaed long Buk blong Momon (luk long Mosaea 5:1–12; Alma 26). Tugeta, wetem Rilif Sosaeti, ol kworom blong prishud oli save bildimap ol papa mo mama, ol mared laef, mo ol kworom oli save givim ol blesing blong prishud long ol famle we i gat wan papa o wan mama nomo.
Yes ol brata. Yumi gat wok blong mekem. Tangkyu long ol sakrifaes mo ol gud samting we yufala i stap mekem. Gohed mo Lod bae i helpem yufala. Samtaem yumi no save wanem blong mekem o wanem blong talem—jes muv fored. Stat blong tekem aksen mo Lod i promes se bae i gat wan doa we bae i open long yu. (luk longD&C 118:3) Stat blong toktok from Hem i promes se bae yu no lus long fored blong man, from bae yu kasem wanem blong talem long stret taem ia (luk longD&C 100:5–6). I tru se long plante wei, yumi no stret gud evriwan be yumi gat wan masta we i stret gud evriwan we i bin mekem wan Atonmen we i stret gud evriwan mo yumi glad from gladhat mo prishud blong Hem. Taem yumi sakem sin mo kilim gud sol blong yumi, Hem i promesem yumi se bae yumi kasem ol tijing mo paoa we bae i kam antap long heven (luk long D&C 43:16).
Jos mo wol, mo ol woman oli stap krae blong gat ol man, ol man we oli stap developem paoa mo talen blong olgeta, we oli wantem wok mo mekem ol sakrifaes, we oli stap helpem ol narawan blong kasem hapines mo fasin blong sevem man. Oli stap singaot : “Girap, O Man blong God!”10 God helpem mifala blong mekem hemia. Long nem blong Jisas Kraes, amen.
Soem Ol Refrens
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1. Kay S. Hymowitz, Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys (2011), 16.
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2. “Taem yumi askem ol adalt tedei wanem bae i mekem olgeta oli ol adalt, i no gat wan i tokbaot mared. Bae oli luk nomo ol samting raon long wok—finisim edukesen, dipen long olgetawan long saed blong mane, wan fultaem wok—olsem ol saen se oli kam bigman o bigwoman. Wok, progres long wok, independens: olgeta samting oli ol fas saen blong aedentiti tedei” (Hymowitz, Manning Up, 45). Fos we i stap long ol woman blong folem fasin we i agensem mared i bigwan tumas tedei. Wan woman we i stap raet blong magasin ia, Times blong London i bin raetem: “I no gat wan man o woman, i no gat wan long famle blong mi, i no gat wan long ol tija blong mi we i bin talem, ‘O yes, wan tingting nomo, yu save wantem blong kam wan waef mo mama tu.’ Oli bin gat strong tingting ia se bae yumi folem wan niu, ikwol rod mekem se ol olfala samting we ol jeneresen blong ol woman oli wantem—blong mared mo lukaotem wan famle—oli go lus nomo from visen we yumi gat long saed blong fiuja” (Eleanor Mills, “Learning to Be Left on the Shelf,” Sunday Times, 18 Epr. 2010, www.thetimes.co.uk; in Hymowitz, Manning Up, 72). Wan nara woman we i bin raet taem hem i bin gat samples 40 yia, i bin givim sam ansa blong wan atikol we hem i bin raetem abaot rigret blong hem blong no save mared: “Mi sapraes mo harem nogud evriwan se yu nidim wan man,” “Traem trastem yuwan!” “Yu stap tekem step blong lukaotem wan nara man mo laef long wan level we i stap daon,” mo “Sapos gel blong mi i groap mo i wantem tumas wan man olsem yu yu wantem, bae mi save se mi mekem wan rong samting long taem we mi bin stap lukaotem hem” (Lori Gottlieb, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough [2010], 55).Gud nius, i we plante pipol, mo i tekem tu ol yang adalt we oli skul gud, oli no tekem mesej ia blong stap agensem mared, mo stap agensem fasin blong gat famle. “Folem wan stadi we i kam long wan man we i stadi long ekonomi long Yunivesiti long Pensilvania, long Yunaeted Stet long yia 2008, i soem se 86 pesen blong ol waet woman we oli skul gud oli bin mared bifo o taem oli gat 40 yia, be 88 pesen long olgeta oli no gat o kasem wan fo yia digri, oli mared. Namba blong ol waet man we oli skul long kolej i semmak: 84 pesen long olgeta oli mared bifo o taem oli gat 40 yia long 2008. Waes tingting we i stap, we i no kamaot long stadi ia, i we ating mared i wan bigfala problem blong ol woman. Be ol waet woman we oli skul gud, oli no biliv long hemia. Ating eni grup i tingting se “ol mared pipol oli no moa hapi bitim ol pipol we oli no mared.’ … Bigfala pat —70 pesen—blong ol studen blong kolej we i fas yia blong olgeta, oli ting se blong lukaotem wan famle i wan ‘nid’ o ‘i impoten tumas’ long fiuja blong olgeta” (Hymowitz, Manning Up, 173–74).
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3. Philip G. Zimbardo and Nikita Duncan, The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do about It (2012), e-book; luk long japta “Behind the Headlines.”
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4. Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, Why There Are No Good Men Left: The Romantic Plight of the New Single Woman (2003), 67.
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5. Amanda Dickson, “‘Hunger Games’ Main Character a Heroine for Our Day,” Deseret News, 2 Epril 2012, www.deseretnews.com.
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6. Gordon B. Hinckley, “Welfare Responsibilities of the Priesthood Quorums,” Ensign, Nov. 1977, 86.
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7. Helping Others to Help Themselves: The Story of the Mormon Church Welfare Program (1945), 4.
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8. Richard C. Edgley, “This Is Your Phone Call,” Liahona
mo Ensign, Mei 2009, 54.
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9. Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Harold B. Lee (2000), 134.
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10. “Rise Up, O Men of God,” Hymns, no. 323.
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