MMOA A WƆDE MA ABUSUA NO | AWAREƐ
Sɛnea Wo Ne Wo Nsenom Ntam Bɛyɛ Kama
ƆHAW NO
“Bere a yɛrehyia asɛm denden bi wɔ yɛn awareɛ mu no, me yere kɔtii ho kyerɛɛ n’awofo. Enti ne papa frɛɛ me tuu me fo. Anokwa, m’ani annye ho koraa!”
—James. *
“M’asebaa taa ka sɛ, ‘Mafe me babarima no dodo!’ Ne nkɔmmɔdi nyinaa kyerɛ sɛ na ɔnni ne ba no ho agorɔ koraa. Mete saa a, mebisa me ho sɛ, ‘Adɛn nti koraa na maware ɔbarima yi ma agya ne maame tipae saa?’”
—Natasha.
Yɛbɛyɛ dɛn na yɛne yɛn nsenom ntam asɛm amfa akasakasa amma yɛn awareɛ mu?
NEA ƐSƐ SƐ WOHU
Sɛ obi ware a, na wanya abusua foforo koraa. Bible se sɛ ɔbarima ware a, ɔbɛgya “ne papa ne ne maame hɔ na wakɔfam ne yere ho.” Saa ara na ɔbaa nso bɛgya n’awofo hɔ na ɔde ne ho akɔfam ne kunu na wɔn baanu nyinaa ayɛ “ɔhonam korɔ.” Ɛba saa a, na wɔakyekye abusua foforo koraa.
W’awareɛ na ɛdi kan. Awareɛ ho fotufo bi a ɔde John M. Gottman kaa sɛ: “Ade baako a ɛho hia paa wɔ awareɛ mu ne sɛ okunu ne ɔyere bɛhu sɛ seesei deɛ, ɛnyɛ ‘me’ anaa ‘ɔno’ ne asɛm no, na mmom ‘yɛn.’ Sɛ wobɛtumi ne wo hokafo ayɛ baako a, ɛtɔ da a, ɛhia sɛ wotwe wo ho kakra fi w’abusuafo ho.” *
Ɛyɛ den sɛ awofo bi bɛgye atom sɛ nneɛma asesa. Aberante bi a waware foforo bɔ n’amanneɛ sɛ: “Bere a na yɛnwaree no, sɛ me yere awofo ka biribi a, wɔn ano nsi mpo na ɔdi so. Yɛwaree akyi no, ne maame huu sɛ obi abɛhyɛ hɔ. Ná ɛyɛ den sɛ ɔbɛgye atom sɛ nneɛma asesa.”
Ebinom ware foforo a, ɛyɛ den sɛ wɔbɛgye atom sɛ nneɛma asesa. James a yɛadi kan aka ne ho asɛm no kaa sɛ: “Nsenom nte sɛ nnamfo a wo ara wohwɛ mu yi nea wopɛ. Sɛnea obi kae no, ‘woware a, wopɛ oo, wompɛ oo, woanya nnamfo foforo mmienu.’ Sɛ wɔteetee wo sɛ den mpo a, wɔka w’abusua ho!”
NEA WOBƐTUMI AYƐ
Sɛ w’awofo anaa wo nsenom ama ɔhaw aba mo awareɛ mu a, momfa baakoyɛ nni ho dwuma. “Hwehwɛ asomdwoeɛ na di akyire” sɛnea Bible ka no.
Hwɛ asɛm a ɛdi so yi. Sɛ wo na ɛtoo wo a, anka dɛn na wobɛyɛ? Asɛm no mu biara bɛtumi afa okunu anaa ɔyere ho. Afotusɛm a ɛwom no bɛtumi aboa mo mu biara ma wahu sɛnea ɔne ne nsenom ntam bɛyɛ kama.
Wo yere se ɔnyae a anka wo ne ne maame te kama. Nanso wo ne ne maame ani nhyia.
Sɔ wei hwɛ: Wo ne wo yere nsusu asɛm no ho, na hwɛ sɛ worentwe nsɛm mu tann. Mma w’asebaa asɛm no nhyɛ wo so, na mmom fa w’ani to wo yere. Ɔno na wokaa ntam sɛ wobɛdɔ no daa. Bere a moresusu asɛm no ho no, hwɛ ade baako anaa mmienu bi a wobɛtumi ayɛ na ama wo ne w’asebaa ntam ayɛ kama. Sɛ wo yere hu sɛ worebɔ wo ho mmɔden a, ɔbɛbu wo paa.
Wo kunu se wodwene w’awofo ho sen no.
Sɔ wei hwɛ: Wo ne wo kunu nsusu asɛm no ho, na bisa wo ho sɛ, ‘Ɛyɛ me a, anka mɛyɛ dɛn?’ Sɛ nea ɛsɛ sɛ woyɛ ma w’awofo na woreyɛ a, ɛnneɛ ɛnsɛ sɛ wo kunu twe ho ninkunu. (Mmebusɛm 23:22) Nanso ɛsɛ sɛ wode wo kasa ne wo nneyɛe kyerɛ wo kunu sɛ seesei deɛ ɔno ne wo wura. Sɛ woyɛ saa a, ebia ɛbɛka wo kunu koma ato ne yam, na ɔbɛhu sɛ ɔne w’awofo nyɛ akorafo.
Wo yere repɛ afotuo bi a, ɔsiane wo ho kɔ n’awofo nkyɛn.
Sɔ wei hwɛ: Wo ne wo yere mmɔ ho nkɔmmɔ na ɔnhu nsɛm a ɛnsɛ sɛ ɔne n’awofo susu ho. Nanso nyere nsɛm mu tann. Wo deɛ susu ho hwɛ: Enti ɛnsɛ sɛ obi ne n’awofo susu n’ahiasɛm ho koraa? Nsɛm bɛn na ɔbɛtumi ne wɔn asusu ho? Sɛ mobɔ ho nkɔmmɔ wie a, ebia mobɛhu sɛ wei nyɛ asɛm biara a ɛsɛ sɛ motwe no tann.
^ nky. 4 Wɔasesa din no.
^ nky. 9 Asɛm yi fi nwoma a wɔato din, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work mu.
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