CNN just aired a documentary on #Being13: Inside the Secret World of Teens. The show revealed findings of a study of more than 200 eighth graders and their use of social media. After reviewing more than 150,000 social media posts collected from the students’ social media sites, the study revealed these findings:
1. Teens are on smartphones and tablets constantly.
It’s not unusual for teens to check their devices more than 100 times a day. Whether at school, home, or at an afterschool activity, social media is a constant companion and source of instant access to the online lives of their friends and peers.
2. Social media is a source of anxiety for many teens.
Rather than being on social media to share good things that were going on in their lives, the majority of those in the study said they were checking their social media sites to make sure no one was saying bad things about them and to check their status. Were their posts getting “likes”? Are their friends doing things without them? Are people saying bad things about them?
3. Rather than posting, many teens are lurking.
About 1/3 of those in the study said they spend a large portion of their time studying their friends’ and peers’ social media sites to figure out where they stand in the social pecking order. They look to see who is in and who is out, whose popularity in growing and whose is waning. On the CNN show, many of the teens said one bad post or picture could ruin a person’s reputation.
4. Social media use can be addicting.
The parents and the 13-year-olds on the show all agreed the use of social media is addicting. Before taping the show, the parents were asked to take their children’s phones away. One girl was shown sobbing. A couple of them said they would rather go without food for a week or be grounded than to have their phones taken away.
5. Parents who pay attention to their teens’ online lives erase the negative effects of social media.
Ninety-four percent of parents in the study underestimated the impact that social media was having on their children’s well being. Those parents who were actively engaged in their teens’ online lives were able to help their teens navigate the pluses and minuses of their social media use. When teens knew their parents were monitoring what they were doing, they were far less likely to engage in bullying or sexting or other inappropriate behaviors that are all too common in the social media lives of 13-year-olds.
One other comment from the show stood out. For this generation, their face-to-face lives are the same as their social media lives. There is no distinction.
Beyond the negatives, the study found that teens use social media to show support for one another, to encourage peers when they were going through personal struggles, and to defend one another from people who were saying negative things about their friends.
Questions for Parents and Churches:
1. How are you helping the children and youth in your church engage in face-to-face conversations away from social media?
2. How are you paying attention to the impact of social media on your children or youth?
3. What alternatives to social media do you offer? When do you have children and youth take a break? When do children and youth do an activity without social media?
4. As an adult, how many of these things are true for you as well? Do you lurk? Are you constantly comparing your friend’s posting with your real life? Are you checking your phone over 100 time a day? Does too much consumption of social media make your anxious?