Incentives are rewards for good behaviors. Incentives are especially helpful for overcoming resistance when children are locked in a power struggle or control battle with their parents. Rewards give a child a reason to end the power struggle.
There are four rules that make incentives powerful:
The fourth rule is essential. The child's access to the toy, costume, or other incentive needs to be time-limited. That way your child is really earning a privilege and not another possession. That's the only way to maintain the incentive's value.
You can add some variety to incentives by making a grab bag of surprises or slips of paper with different incentives written on them. You can also reward breakthroughs or significant goals with a triple reward (such as, going to a fast food place, picking out a video and staying up late to watch it).
Physical affection (hugs and kisses) and parent-child activities (field trips, playing games, or reading) should not be withheld from a child or used as incentives. They are essential for your child's emotional growth and mental health. Nurturing your child also makes the child more receptive to parental rules and requests. Likewise, physical activities (playing catch, going on walks or to the park) should not be withheld from your child. Fitness and endurance are important for your child's physical health. However, you can offer "extra" parent-child activities as an incentive.