ENH: Add xlsb auto detection to read_excel and respect default options
- [x] closes #35416 , closes #34252
- [x] tests added / passed
- [x] passes `black pandas`
- [x] passes `git diff upstream/master -u -- "*.py" | flake8 --diff`
- [x] whatsnew entry

Note: Even though most of the reader options for read_excel only have 1 option, I think it is still useful to respect pandas.set_option. 


Also, if some people have older xlrd(e.g. 1.2.0) and don't have openpyxl, they can use options to force pandas to read xlsx files with xlrd. (this is possible now, but xlrd's maintainer has made it clear he doesn't support for things like this)