Java is one of the most successful and most dreaded technologies in the computer science world. Let's roast this powerful open-source programming language to find out why it has so many haters. 

#java #programming #comedy #100SecondsOfCode

🔗 Resources

Java Website https://java.com
Java in 100 Seconds https://youtu.be/l9AzO1FMgM8
Why Java Sucks https://tech.jonathangardner.net/wiki/Why_Java_Sucks
Why Java Doesn't Suck https://smartbear.com/blog/please-stop-staying-java-sucks/

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🔖 Topics Covered

- Why do people hate Java?
- Does Java suck?
- Is Java still a good language?
- Java Criticisms
- Java Memes and Jokes
- Roast of Java
2024-02-04T05:30:03.889Z
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2024-01-09.29447
30089e05-99d1-4376-b32e-c263170674af
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67875a7f-c9c4-48a0-aa55-5bdb8a91c34a
deprecated
Java, a boiler plate driven language designed for writing verbose object oriented instant legacy code.
It came into being thanks to a relentless hype campaign by Sun Microsystems in the middle of the dotcom bubble.
It's kind of like the Macaulay Culkin of programming languages.
It was originally invented to create a better TV remote.
Then it officially launched for public use in 1996, and nobody's bothered to update the website ever since.
Regardless, Java has been running on 3,000,000,000 devices for the last 25 years, most of which are Blu Ray players.
Its motto is write once, run everywhere, which developers know actually means write once, debug everywhere.
Remember the Log 4 j fiasco?
You can blame Java for that one.
Still, Java has a great mascot, a little one eyed monster named Duke, and people love to hate it so much that it's inspired an entire class of programming languages designed to make Java better, like Groovy, Closure, Scala, and Kotlin, just to name a few.
Loop.
Unfortunately, though, there is no cure.
Java also inspired JavaScript, a language that has taken developers 25 years to make halfway decent.
And one time, Java even tried to steal JavaScript's job with applets on the web.
Luckily, applets suck so bad, they made HTML, CSS, and JavaScript look like a good abstraction for building Wise.
Now, when your company adopts Java, you'll also want to adopt Oracle database, so you can spend the next 20 years talking about migrating to Postgres, while paying an ungodly amount of money that will be directly reinvested into these awesome sailing yachts.
To get started, set aside a few days to install the JDK, JRE, and JVM on your machine.
It's also recommended that you have monitor to read the error logs that are coming.
Now, before writing any code, say this with me.
Public static void main string args.
Public static void main string args.
Now, to say, hello world, create a class.
Java forces you into object oriented programming, which means you'll want to read design patterns cover to cover before you go any further.
Now, it's time for your public static void main string args and then finally, system dot out dot print line with hello world.
As you can see, we get a lot more boilerplate than something like Python, which is a feature and definitely not a fundamental design flaw or anything.
You wanna start by writing 1 giant bloated class.
Then when your boss complains, breaking into a hierarchy of deeply nested subclasses that will make it impossible to refactor.
The next step is to rage quit from your job.
Life is way too short to be coding in Java, man.
And with that, I think I've lost enough subscribers for one video.
There are only 2 kinds of languages, the ones people complain about and the ones nobody uses.
Whether you love of it or hate it Java can get stuff done, and for that it deserves our respect.
Thanks for watching and I will see you in the next one.

Speaker 0: Java, a boiler plate driven language designed for writing verbose object oriented instant legacy code. It came into being thanks to a relentless hype campaign by Sun Microsystems in the middle of the dotcom bubble. It's kind of like the Macaulay Culkin of programming languages. It was originally invented to create a better TV remote. Then it officially launched for public use in 1996, and nobody's bothered to update the website ever since.

Regardless, Java has been running on 3,000,000,000 devices for the last 25 years, most of which are Blu Ray players. Its motto is write once, run everywhere, which developers know actually means write once, debug everywhere. Remember the Log 4 j fiasco? You can blame Java for that one. Still, Java has a great mascot, a little one eyed monster named Duke, and people love to hate it so much that it's inspired an entire class of programming languages designed to make Java better, like Groovy, Closure, Scala, and Kotlin, just to name a few.

Loop. Unfortunately, though, there is no cure. Java also inspired JavaScript, a language that has taken developers 25 years to make halfway decent. And one time, Java even tried to steal JavaScript's job with applets on the web. Luckily, applets suck so bad, they made HTML, CSS, and JavaScript look like a good abstraction for building Wise.

Now, when your company adopts Java, you'll also want to adopt Oracle database, so you can spend the next 20 years talking about migrating to Postgres, while paying an ungodly amount of money that will be directly reinvested into these awesome sailing yachts. To get started, set aside a few days to install the JDK, JRE, and JVM on your machine. It's also recommended that you have monitor to read the error logs that are coming. Now, before writing any code, say this with me. Public static void main string args.

Public static void main string args. Now, to say, hello world, create a class. Java forces you into object oriented programming, which means you'll want to read design patterns cover to cover before you go any further. Now, it's time for your public static void main string args and then finally, system dot out dot print line with hello world. As you can see, we get a lot more boilerplate than something like Python, which is a feature and definitely not a fundamental design flaw or anything.

You wanna start by writing 1 giant bloated class. Then when your boss complains, breaking into a hierarchy of deeply nested subclasses that will make it impossible to refactor. The next step is to rage quit from your job. Life is way too short to be coding in Java, man. And with that, I think I've lost enough subscribers for one video.

There are only 2 kinds of languages, the ones people complain about and the ones nobody uses. Whether you love of it or hate it Java can get stuff done, and for that it deserves our respect. Thanks for watching and I will see you in the next one.
Java, a boiler plate driven language designed for writing verbose object oriented instant legacy code. It came into being thanks to a relentless hype campaign by Sun Microsystems in the middle of the dotcom bubble. It's kind of like the Macaulay Culkin of programming languages. It was originally invented to create a better TV remote.
languages
programming
Then it officially launched for public use in 1996, and nobody's bothered to update the website ever since.
Regardless, Java has been running on 3,000,000,000 devices for the last 25 years, most of which are Blu Ray players. Its motto is write once, run everywhere, which developers know actually means write once, debug everywhere. Remember the Log 4 j fiasco? You can blame Java for that one. Still, Java has a great mascot, a little one eyed monster named Duke, and people love to hate it so much that it's inspired an entire class of programming languages designed to make Java better, like Groovy, Closure, Scala, and Kotlin, just to name a few.
games
Loop. Unfortunately, though, there is no cure. Java also inspired JavaScript, a language that has taken developers 25 years to make halfway decent. And one time, Java even tried to steal JavaScript's job with applets on the web.
Luckily, applets suck so bad, they made HTML, CSS, and JavaScript look like a good abstraction for building Wise. Now, when your company adopts Java, you'll also want to adopt Oracle database, so you can spend the next 20 years talking about migrating to Postgres, while paying an ungodly amount of money that will be directly reinvested into these awesome sailing yachts.
databases
To get started, set aside a few days to install the JDK, JRE, and JVM on your machine. It's also recommended that you have monitor to read the error logs that are coming. Now, before writing any code, say this with me. Public static void main string args. Public static void main string args. Now, to say, hello world, create a class.
Java forces you into object oriented programming, which means you'll want to read design patterns cover to cover before you go any further. Now, it's time for your public static void main string args and then finally, system dot out dot print line with hello world. As you can see, we get a lot more boilerplate than something like Python, which is a feature and definitely not a fundamental design flaw or anything.
programming
You wanna start by writing 1 giant bloated class. Then when your boss complains, breaking into a hierarchy of deeply nested subclasses that will make it impossible to refactor. The next step is to rage quit from your job. Life is way too short to be coding in Java, man. And with that, I think I've lost enough subscribers for one video.
There are only 2 kinds of languages, the ones people complain about and the ones nobody uses. Whether you love of it or hate it Java can get stuff done, and for that it deserves our respect. Thanks for watching and I will see you in the next one.
languages
dialects
Java, a boiler plate driven language designed for writing verbose object oriented instant legacy code. It came into being thanks to a relentless hype campaign by Sun Microsystems in the middle of the dotcom bubble. It's kind of like the Macaulay Culkin of programming languages. It was originally invented to create a better TV remote. Then it officially launched for public use in 1996, and nobody's bothered to update the website ever since. Regardless, Java has been running on 3,000,000,000 devices for the last 25 years, most of which are Blu Ray players. Its motto is write once, run everywhere, which developers know actually means write once, debug everywhere. Remember the Log 4 j fiasco? You can blame Java for that one. Still, Java has a great mascot, a little one eyed monster named Duke, and people love to hate it so much that it's inspired an entire class of programming languages designed to make Java better, like Groovy, Closure, Scala, and Kotlin, just to name a few. Loop. Unfortunately, though, there is no cure. Java also inspired JavaScript, a language that has taken developers 25 years to make halfway decent. And one time, Java even tried to steal JavaScript's job with applets on the web. Luckily, applets suck so bad, they made HTML, CSS, and JavaScript look like a good abstraction for building Wise. Now, when your company adopts Java, you'll also want to adopt Oracle database, so you can spend the next 20 years talking about migrating to Postgres, while paying an ungodly amount of money that will be directly reinvested into these awesome sailing yachts. To get started, set aside a few days to install the JDK, JRE, and JVM on your machine. It's also recommended that you have monitor to read the error logs that are coming. Now, before writing any code, say this with me. Public static void main string args. Public static void main string args. Now, to say, hello world, create a class. Java forces you into object oriented programming, which means you'll want to read design patterns cover to cover before you go any further. Now, it's time for your public static void main string args and then finally, system dot out dot print line with hello world. As you can see, we get a lot more boilerplate than something like Python, which is a feature and definitely not a fundamental design flaw or anything. You wanna start by writing 1 giant bloated class. Then when your boss complains, breaking into a hierarchy of deeply nested subclasses that will make it impossible to refactor. The next step is to rage quit from your job. Life is way too short to be coding in Java, man. And with that, I think I've lost enough subscribers for one video. There are only 2 kinds of languages, the ones people complain about and the ones nobody uses. Whether you love of it or hate it Java can get stuff done, and for that it deserves our respect. Thanks for watching and I will see you in the next one.
Java,
java
a
a
boiler
boiler
plate
plate
driven
driven
language
language
designed
designed
for
for
writing
writing
verbose
verbose
object
object
oriented
oriented
instant
instant
legacy
legacy
code.
code
It
it
came
came
into
into
being
being
thanks
thanks
to
to
a
a
relentless
relentless
hype
hype
campaign
campaign
by
by
Sun
sun
Microsystems
microsystems
in
in
the
the
middle
middle
of
of
the
the
dotcom
dotcom
bubble.
bubble
It's
it's
kind
kind
of
of
like
like
the
the
Macaulay
macaulay
Culkin
culkin
of
of
programming
programming
languages.
languages
It
it
was
was
originally
originally
invented
invented
to
to
create
create
a
a
better
better
TV
tv
remote.
remote
Then
then
it
it
officially
officially
launched
launched
for
for
public
public
use
use
in
in
1996,
1996
and
and
nobody's
nobody's
bothered
bothered
to
to
update
update
the
the
website
website
ever
ever
since.
since
Regardless,
regardless
Java
java
has
has
been
been
running
running
on
on
3,000,000,000
3,000,000,000
devices
devices
for
for
the
the
last
last
25
25
years,
years
most
most
of
of
which
which
are
are
Blu
blu
Ray
ray
players.
players
Its
its
motto
motto
is
is
write
write
once,
once
run
run
everywhere,
everywhere
which
which
developers
developers
know
know
actually
actually
means
means
write
write
once,
once
debug
debug
everywhere.
everywhere
Remember
remember
the
the
Log
log
4
4
j
j
fiasco?
fiasco
You
you
can
can
blame
blame
Java
java
for
for
that
that
one.
one
Still,
still
Java
java
has
has
a
a
great
great
mascot,
mascot
a
a
little
little
one
one
eyed
eyed
monster
monster
named
named
Duke,
duke
and
and
people
people
love
love
to
to
hate
hate
it
it
so
so
much
much
that
that
it's
it's
inspired
inspired
an
an
entire
entire
class
class
of
of
programming
programming
languages
languages
designed
designed
to
to
make
make
Java
java
better,
better
like
like
Groovy,
groovy
Closure,
closure
Scala,
scala
and
and
Kotlin,
kotlin
just
just
to
to
name
name
a
a
few.
few
Loop.
loop
Unfortunately,
unfortunately
though,
though
there
there
is
is
no
no
cure.
cure
Java
java
also
also
inspired
inspired
JavaScript,
javascript
a
a
language
language
that
that
has
has
taken
taken
developers
developers
25
25
years
years
to
to
make
make
halfway
halfway
decent.
decent
And
and
one
one
time,
time
Java
java
even
even
tried
tried
to
to
steal
steal
JavaScript's
javascript's
job
job
with
with
applets
applets
on
on
the
the
web.
web
Luckily,
luckily
applets
applets
suck
suck
so
so
bad,
bad
they
they
made
made
HTML,
html
CSS,
css
and
and
JavaScript
javascript
look
look
like
like
a
a
good
good
abstraction
abstraction
for
for
building
building
Wise.
wise
Now,
now
when
when
your
your
company
company
adopts
adopts
Java,
java
you'll
you'll
also
also
want
want
to
to
adopt
adopt
Oracle
oracle
database,
database
so
so
you
you
can
can
spend
spend
the
the
next
next
20
20
years
years
talking
talking
about
about
migrating
migrating
to
to
Postgres,
postgres
while
while
paying
paying
an
an
ungodly
ungodly
amount
amount
of
of
money
money
that
that
will
will
be
be
directly
directly
reinvested
reinvested
into
into
these
these
awesome
awesome
sailing
sailing
yachts.
yachts
To
to
get
get
started,
started
set
set
aside
aside
a
a
few
few
days
days
to
to
install
install
the
the
JDK,
jdk
JRE,
jre
and
and
JVM
jvm
on
on
your
your
machine.
machine
It's
it's
also
also
recommended
recommended
that
that
you
you
have
have
monitor
monitor
to
to
read
read
the
the
error
error
logs
logs
that
that
are
are
coming.
coming
Now,
now
before
before
writing
writing
any
any
code,
code
say
say
this
this
with
with
me.
me
Public
public
static
static
void
void
main
main
string
string
args.
args
Public
public
static
static
void
void
main
main
string
string
args.
args
Now,
now
to
to
say,
say
hello
hello
world,
world
create
create
a
a
class.
class
Java
java
forces
forces
you
you
into
into
object
object
oriented
oriented
programming,
programming
which
which
means
means
you'll
you'll
want
want
to
to
read
read
design
design
patterns
patterns
cover
cover
to
to
cover
cover
before
before
you
you
go
go
any
any
further.
further
Now,
now
it's
it's
time
time
for
for
your
your
public
public
static
static
void
void
main
main
string
string
args
args
and
and
then
then
finally,
finally
system
system
dot
dot
out
out
dot
dot
print
print
line
line
with
with
hello
hello
world.
world
As
as
you
you
can
can
see,
see
we
we
get
get
a
a
lot
lot
more
more
boilerplate
boilerplate
than
than
something
something
like
like
Python,
python
which
which
is
is
a
a
feature
feature
and
and
definitely
definitely
not
not
a
a
fundamental
fundamental
design
design
flaw
flaw
or
or
anything.
anything
You
you
wanna
wanna
start
start
by
by
writing
writing
1
1
giant
giant
bloated
bloated
class.
class
Then
then
when
when
your
your
boss
boss
complains,
complains
breaking
breaking
into
into
a
a
hierarchy
hierarchy
of
of
deeply
deeply
nested
nested
subclasses
subclasses
that
that
will
will
make
make
it
it
impossible
impossible
to
to
refactor.
refactor
The
the
next
next
step
step
is
is
to
to
rage
rage
quit
quit
from
from
your
your
job.
job
Life
life
is
is
way
way
too
too
short
short
to
to
be
be
coding
coding
in
in
Java,
java
man.
man
And
and
with
with
that,
that
I
i
think
think
I've
i've
lost
lost
enough
enough
subscribers
subscribers
for
for
one
one
video.
video
There
there
are
are
only
only
2
2
kinds
kinds
of
of
languages,
languages
the
the
ones
ones
people
people
complain
complain
about
about
and
and
the
the
ones
ones
nobody
nobody
uses.
uses
Whether
whether
you
you
love
love
of
of
it
it
or
or
hate
hate
it
it
Java
java
can
can
get
get
stuff
stuff
done,
done
and
and
for
for
that
that
it
it
deserves
deserves
our
our
respect.
respect
Thanks
thanks
for
for
watching
watching
and
and
I
i
will
will
see
see
you
you
in
in
the
the
next
next
one.
one
success
The speaker discusses the use of Java in programming, including its use on multiple devices and its motto of " Volkswagen-to-Connect." They also recommend installing an applet on your machine and recommend reading error logs. The speaker then gives a brief overview of the language and its potential limitations, including the need for a public static void main string and the need for a post- Much time quit.
Java for the Haters in 100 Seconds
Java, a boiler plate driven language designed for writing verbose object oriented instant legacy code. It came into being thanks to a relentless hype campaign by Sun Microsystems in the middle of the dotcom bubble. It's kind of like the Macaulay Culkin of programming languages. It was originally invented to create a better TV remote. Then it officially launched for public use in 1996, and nobody's bothered to update the website ever since. Regardless, Java has been running on 3,000,000,000 devices for the last 25 years, most of which are Blu Ray players. Its motto is write once, run everywhere, which developers know actually means write once, debug everywhere. Remember the Log 4 j fiasco? You can blame Java for that one. Still, Java has a great mascot, a little one eyed monster named Duke, and people love to hate it so much that it's inspired an entire class of programming languages designed to make Java better, like Groovy, Closure, Scala, and Kotlin, just to name a few. Loop. Unfortunately, though, there is no cure. Java also inspired JavaScript, a language that has taken developers 25 years to make halfway decent. And one time, Java even tried to steal JavaScript's job with applets on the web. Luckily, applets suck so bad, they made HTML, CSS, and JavaScript look like a good abstraction for building Wise. Now, when your company adopts Java, you'll also want to adopt Oracle database, so you can spend the next 20 years talking about migrating to Postgres, while paying an ungodly amount of money that will be directly reinvested into these awesome sailing yachts. To get started, set aside a few days to install the JDK, JRE, and JVM on your machine. It's also recommended that you have monitor to read the error logs that are coming. Now, before writing any code, say this with me. Public static void main string args. Public static void main string args. Now, to say, hello world, create a class. Java forces you into object oriented programming, which means you'll want to read design patterns cover to cover before you go any further. Now, it's time for your public static void main string args and then finally, system dot out dot print line with hello world. As you can see, we get a lot more boilerplate than something like Python, which is a feature and definitely not a fundamental design flaw or anything. You wanna start by writing 1 giant bloated class. Then when your boss complains, breaking into a hierarchy of deeply nested subclasses that will make it impossible to refactor. The next step is to rage quit from your job. Life is way too short to be coding in Java, man. And with that, I think I've lost enough subscribers for one video. There are only 2 kinds of languages, the ones people complain about and the ones nobody uses. Whether you love of it or hate it Java can get stuff done, and for that it deserves our respect. Thanks for watching and I will see you in the next one.
The speaker discusses the use of Java in programming, including its use on multiple devices and its motto of " Volkswagen-to-Connect." They also recommend installing an applet on your machine and recommend reading error logs. The speaker then gives a brief overview of the language and its potential limitations, including the need for a public static void main string and the need for a post- Much time quit.