where he claims the army fought "pygmies armed with sharpened kiwi fruit and mangoes". He therefore finds the prospect of fighting against armed soldiers who could actually kill him both distasteful and stupid. When the First World War started, he was sent to the trenches with Private Baldrick and Lieutenant George, both of whom he considers idiots but seems to have a genuine affection for. His service is further plagued by General Melchett, a maniac with seemingly no common sense or concern for the men under him, and Captain Kevin Darling, a short-tempered, by the books officer, who panders to Melchett in the hope of staying far away from the front line. Blackadder generally misses no opportunity to mock Darling's name and take him down a peg in Melchett's eyes. Captain Blackadder is a stone-cold realist, and knows that if he and his men are sent "over the top", most or all of them will die, and he therefore spends much of his time coming up with plans to avoid this possibility. In the end he, Baldrick, George and Darling are, in fact, sent over the top. The fate of the company is left ambiguous. Ebenezer Blackadder (Blackadder Christmas Carol) owns a moustache shop, aided by Baldrick, from which he makes a modest living every year. He is the nicest man in all England, giving away all of his money and property to anyone claiming to be in need. Of course, all his friends and neighbours see him as an easy touch, and take full-advantage of him, shamefully. For once (since the first Baldrick), this Baldrick seems to be the more intelligent of the two, as he tries to convince Blackadder not to give so freely. One Christmas Eve, after giving away the year's profits, the Christmas tree, the modest Christmas gifts, and even his tiny turkey to a slew of greedy visitors, Blackadder is visited by a friendly spirit. The spirit inadvertently shows this Blackadder how his predecessors behaved and that his descendants will suffer if he continues to be so self-sacrificing, and how they will come to rule the galaxy if he changes his ways. Not a fool, Ebenezer decides to embark on a new way of life immediately. When Queen Victoria and Prince Albert come to grant him money and titles due to his kindness, he insults them, not realising they are the real Queen and consort,