Oilers... what for? Houston isn't on our schedule." (Source: The Book of Sports Lists) (To an official) "Hey, can I, can I tell you one thing? That's three holding penalties on one football team in a quarter and a half. (Pauses) That ain't funny." (To an official) "Now, you can't do that! If you do it, I'm telling you you'll have more hell over it than a little bit." (after playing the Steelers for the fifth time in two seasons and planning to meet them a sixth time) "The road to the Super Bowl runs through Pittsburgh, sooner or later you've got to go to Pittsburgh. (20 years after playing Pittsburgh six times in two seasons) "Don't take long to spend all the time you want in Pittsburgh." (referring to Miami Dolphins coach Don Shula) "He can take his'n and beat your'n and take your'n and beat his'n." He also said the same line about Bear Bryant. (referring to Houston Oilers quarterback Warren Moon) "That boy could throw a football through a car wash and not get it wet." (when asked about Oilers RB Earl Campbell's inability to finish a one-mile run in training camp) "When it's first and a mile, I won't give it to him." (when asked by Bob Costas why he took his wife on all of the Oilers' road trips) "Because she's too ugly to kiss goodbye." (on January 7, 1980, to the crowd at the Astrodome that welcomed the Oilers home after their second consecutive loss to the Steelers in the AFC championship game) "One year ago, we knocked on the door. This year, we beat on the door. Next year, we're going to kick the son of a bitch in." (of Earl Campbell) "I don't know if he's in a class by himself, but I do know that when that class gets together, it sure don't take long to call the roll." Late one night, Phillips and Sid Gillman were watching film and Phillips began to doze off. Gillman woke him up by saying, "Hey Bum, this is better than making love." Phillips responded, "Either I don't know how to watch film, Sid, or you don't know how to make love." (Phillips later indicated that his language may have actually been stronger than that.) (From a PRO! Gameday program interview, when asked what he would be doing if he wasn't an NFL coach) "Teach