insult. For example: "Oh, I bet you're too stuck-up to talk to a guy like me." The tendency is for the chosen victim to want to prove the insult untrue. Loan Sharking - Giving unsolicited help to the chosen victim and anticipating they'll feel obliged to extend some reciprocal openness in return. The Unsolicited Promise - A promise to do (or not do) something when no such promise is asked for; this usually means that such a promise will be broken. For example: an unsolicited, "I promise I'll leave you alone after this," usually means the chosen victim will not be left alone. Similarly, an unsolicited "I promise I won't hurt you" usually means the person intends to hurt their chosen victim. Discounting the Word "No" - Refusing to accept rejection. Reception Described by The Boston Globe as a "how-to book that reads like a thriller", The Gift of Fear spent four months on The New York Times bestseller list and was a #1 US bestseller. In 2008, Oprah Winfrey dedicated an hour-long show to commemorate the 10-year anniversary of the publication of the book. In the last year of her show, she dedicated two hour-long shows to de Becker's work in domestic violence. References External links First chapter of the book on NYTimes.com Self-help books 1997 non-fiction books Works about fear Books about violence