the stall. With his rubber duck with him, a fiber in the vent pokes him, causing him to drop the duck due to being startled by the pain. He goes after the duck, but realizes quickly that the ceiling there is unsupported. The ceiling caves in and he finds himself lying legs spread on the dinner table, nude. Would You Rather? At the dinner table with his family, Andy asks a silly question to his whole family at the dinner table - "would you rather be eaten by ants or lions?". Andy and his father have a whole discussion about this while occasionally being interrupted. The story ends with no real answer from the three. Murder, Bloody Murder! Andy and Danny scream, "MURDER, BLOODY MURDER!" at Andy's neighbour Mr. Broadbent for ages. Mr. Broadbent gets very angry, so he gets them to shut up. They suspect that his bad mood is due to stress, so they attempt to "de-stress" him but this annoys him further, and they end up yelling the phrase again. The Last Jaffa While watching a James Bond movie (presumably a repeat of The Spy Who Loved Me) at the cinema stuck behind a lady with tall hair, Andy loses his last Jaffa and annoys a lot of people while finding it. He is accused of being a thief and a pervert while looking for his Jaffa, and has security called on him. He uses a variety of spy-inspired strategies to eventually avoid the people in the movie trying to catch him. Eventually, to escape the crush of people after him, Andy jumps through the screen and finds many Jaffas, along with other candy, found left over on the floor from people's past times at the theater. Swinging on the Clothesline Andy spends a lot of time trying to breaking the clothesline speed record, which annoys his parents a lot. To make sure Andy stops, Dad trades a huge dog with Sooty (the family pet) and leaves it to guard the clothesline. Andy uses bait to get the dog to swing him around. Going too fast to hold on, Andy lets go, flying into the kitchen window. The last spoken line is said by Andy: "If the window doesn't kill me, my parents will." External links Andy Griffiths - Just Annoying Short story collections by Andy Griffiths Children's short story collections 1998 short story collections Pan Books