songwriting partner, the brainy Claire Simmons. At the Cellini family's Christmas party, Claire needs only one quick look to confirm that Gilbert's in-laws are mafiosos, the patriarch of the clan being infamous gangster Freddy "the Pooch" Bombelli. She and Phillip pull Gilbert into a bathroom and acquaint him with two hard facts: One, attempting to swindle the Mafia is stupid; and Two, attempting to do so partnered with Moira is suicidal, for she has already ingratiated herself with Gilbert's family far more successfully than he, and would throw him and Phillip to the wolves in a heartbeat if anything went wrong. Watching Moira schmoozing with the clan, it is also horrifyingly obvious that Moira knows full well they are mafiosi, yet intends to swindle them anyway. Claire reasons that the best way for Phillip and Gilbert to extricate themselves is to tip off the Duchess to Moira's trust fund swindle. Unfortunately, both their anonymous letter and phone call to the Duchess are intercepted by Moira's accomplice, the Duchess's butler, and Moira misidentifies Gilbert's old nemesis, Gunther Von Steigel, and Moira's friend Vulpina, as the blackmailers. Phillip and Gilbert are helpless to stop Moira as she engineers a campaign of terror and revenge against Gunther and Vulpina, which increases Gunther's suspicions of Gilbert and the wedding. Claire, sensing something wrong, does further research, and gathers Phillip, Gilbert, and Moira together to reveal the truth: the "Duchess" doesn't exist. Moira made up her mother's status years ago, as an amusing lie to tell her friends, which suddenly became necessary to maintain when Gilbert wanted to partner with Moira to bilk his wealthy family (Moira's real mother, Claire gleefully confides, is currently serving a prison term in California, "learning respect for other people's property"). Likewise, Moira has never had a trust fund; that was just a ruse to explain away her mother's inability to pay for the wedding. Winslow is a chemist, rather than a banker, who impersonated the Duchess on the telephone for Phillip and Gilbert's benefit. Moira admits the truth, but refuses to abandon the wedding. Claire concedes that she can't expose Moira without exposing Phillip and Gilbert, so she can only offer her reluctant assistance in pulling off the swindle—something that she now believes is possible, as long as they can convincingly stage the Duchess' "tragic" death before the wedding. Everything seems to be going smoothly, until Freddy Bombelli tells