or scapegoat. Johnny Condom. Sometimes also a 'Johnny bag' or 'rubber Johnny'. John Thomas Penis. josser A cretin or simpleton. judy A girl or woman. jump As a noun or verb, sexual intercourse. K kip 1. Sleep, nap 2. Bed or lodging 3. Brothel (mainly Irish) knackered 1. Exhausted, tired, 2. Broken, beyond all usefulness. knackers vulgar name for testicles. knees-up A lively party or dance. knob 1. Penis. 2. (of a man) To have sexual intercourse. knobhead a stupid, irritating person. knob jockey homosexual (to ride the penis like a jockey rides a horse). knob-end an idiot, or tip of penis (see bell-end). knockers Breasts. knocking shop Brothel. know one's onions To be well acquainted with a subject. L lady A five-pound note. Rhyming Slang, Lady Godiva-Fiver lag 1. Convict, particularly a long serving one (an old lag). lash 1. Urinate. 2. Alcohol. lashed very inebriated. Also 'on the lash' meaning to go out drinking with the intent of getting drunk. laughing gear Mouth. louie A louie is (or was) a sixteenth of an ounce (as in Louie the 16th) = in weight to a decimal halfpence local A public house close to one's home. lolly money. loo lavatory. M manky dirty, filthy. (Polari). Manky Snatcher Maggie Thatcher marbles Wits. As in, to lose one's marbles. mardy A dejected or mopey state. Widely used in the North and Midlands of England. mare Woman (derogatory). mark A suitable victim for a con or swindle. matelot Sailor (from the French). meat and two veg Literally a traditional meal consisting of any meat, potatoes and a second type of vegetable; euphemistically the male external genitalia. Is sometimes also used to mean something unremarkable or ordinary. mental Crazy or insane. Mick An Irishman (derogatory). miffed Upset or offended. milk run A 'safe' mission or patrol. minge Vagina minger Someone who smells. minted Wealthy. mither 1. to complain. 2. to annoy or bother. Used in Northern England. mizzle Decamp. moggy Cat. moke Donkey. monged (out) Severely drunk/high. Derogatory use of archaic phrase for Downs Syndrome. moniker or moniker Name, nickname, signature or mark. monkey £500. mooch Loiter or wander aimlessly, skulk. moody gear, or story stolen property or an improbable tale. moolah Money. moon To expose one's backside (from Old English, mona). moony Crazy or foolish. muck about Waste time. Interfere with. mucker Mate, pal. Romanichal muck in Share a duty or workload. mufti