Initially, the reader will believe her to be fat, but it later transpires that she is unhealthily thin. Jeremy Slank: A "Conceptuologist" (politically correct term for PR man, parodying complicated job titles that have arisen in recent years) who is involved in the Well Farms project in the story to help fight weight problems. He is the only character to meet/interact with the other two. He is described as average and normal as he is trying to impress the Prime Minister. After a monologue of how he thinks it will go, he instead is given two minutes by a bulky security guard and is put on a helicopter to the Well Farms. On the helicopter he meets a student called Jemma who he then starts to flirt with and she tells him what she thinks of the project. After the tour and Jeremy doing his job, she invites him for dinner and almost starts to perform oral sex before realising it's not her boyfriend and leaves. As he checks his e-mail frustrated, he finds an e-mail from the Prime Minister saying on how he did a great job. He is next seen at the Press conference opening the Well Farms to which the Prime Minister actually remembers and greets him. He is then put on his right hand side as the Prime Minister introduces the project. Because the Well Farms are such a 'success', 'P' (As he lets Jeremy call him that now) asks Jeremy to handle the rebranding of the NHS. Jeremy then takes a tour, but goes on his own, and discovers Hayleigh revealing she is very anorexic. In the end, he is unaffected by the monumental 'failure' of the Well Farms and meets Jemma who has moved and broken up with her boyfriend. He kisses her and his story in the book ends. References 2006 British novels British comedy novels Victor Gollancz Ltd books