remain close to the home culture and their relatives because it provides a safety net. She writes that Alam argues that it is thus the attempt to regain control and the feelings of alienation that ultimately leads to an honor killing. Specific triggers of honor killings Refusal of an arranged or forced marriage Refusal of an arranged marriage or forced marriage is often a cause of an honor killing. The family that has prearranged the marriage risks disgrace if the marriage does not proceed, and the betrothed is indulged in a relationship with another individual without prior knowledge of the family members. Seeking a divorce A woman attempting to obtain a divorce or separation without the consent of the husband/extended family can also be a trigger for honor killings. In cultures where marriages are arranged and goods are often exchanged between families, a woman's desire to seek a divorce is often viewed as an insult to the men who negotiated the deal. By making their marital problems known outside the family, the women are seen as exposing the family to public dishonor. Allegations and rumors about a family member In certain cultures, an allegation against a woman can be enough to tarnish her family's reputation, and to trigger an honor killing: the family's fear of being ostracized by the community is enormous. Victims of rape In many cultures, victims of rape face severe violence, including honor killings, from their families and relatives. In many parts of the world, women who have been raped are considered to have brought 'dishonor' or 'disgrace' to their families. This is especially the case if the victim becomes pregnant. Central to the code of honor, in many societies, is a woman's virginity, which must be preserved until marriage. Suzanne Ruggi writes, "A woman's virginity is the property of the men around her, first her father, later a gift for her husband; a virtual dowry as she graduates to marriage." Homosexuality There is evidence that homosexuality can also be perceived as grounds for honor killing by relatives. It is not only same-sex sexual acts that trigger violence—behaviors that are regarded as inappropriate gender expression (e.g. male acting or dressing in a "feminine way") can also raise suspicion and lead to honor violence. In one case, a gay Jordanian man was shot and wounded by his brother. In another case, in 2008, a homosexual Turkish-Kurdish student, Ahmet