their butlers lying about in the playground, smoking high-priced Cuban cigars behind the bike shed and having food fights in the canteen with caviar, strawberries and champagne. In the end, they do get dealt with, but they craftily prevent painful canings on their backsides by slipping thick literary works of art "worth thysands of pynds" down the backs of their trousers, though the teacher seems not to notice the extra padding as he administers their punishment. Postman Plod, "The Miserable Bastard" – a mean-spirited postman with a serious attitude problem and a highly questionable work ethic. Plod is bone idle and lethargic and frequently takes extended periods off work with questionable excuses that only hold water because they are supported with notes from his doctor who is just lazy as he is. The pair of them often concoct some excuse for time off work so that they can go and play golf. Whenever he turns up for work at all Plod is completely lacking in any work ethics, and often enjoys opening and reading the post he is meant to be delivering. He is not even bothered about hiding this activity, and after reading someone's bank statement, either mocking or embarrassing that person for their poor financial situation (another example is when he exposes a resident's arrival of brown-enveloped "jazz mags" to the whole street). The other post office staff are also shown to be lazy and dissatisfied with their jobs and spend most of the time sitting and playing cards (with the exception of the post office manager who tries desperately in vain to run a tight ship). In the lead up to Christmas once, Plod and all his fellow postmen opened up all the parcels at the sorting office and stole whatever they wanted to save having to buy their own presents. On one occasion he even just threw all the post he was meant to deliver in a hedge and went home early. In another Christmas feature he took part in the poem 'The Night Mail' (This is the Night Mail, crossing the boarder, bringing the cheque and the postal order...) which was specially re-written for him, and displayed his uselessness, heartlessness and ruthlessness for all to see. He was eventually chucked off the train and the final frame had him, drunk and lying in the snow, wishing the reader a Merry Christmas! The Princess Who Would