VIII. Captain Morgan and his Hammond Organ – a pirate who sails round the Caribbean inviting people to sing along with him as he plays a Hammond organ. His character was cut when legal action was threatened over the copyright of some of the songs; according to creator Chris Donald in his book, he did not think that making the character sing royalty-free hymns or nursery rhymes would have quite the same comedic effect. Captain Captured – the man who's constantly caught. At the start of each strip, Captain Captured would get captured in a mysterious Bond villain-like fashion. He would then escape only to get captured again, and again, and again, and... Captain Magnetic – A strip about a man who claims to be a superhero with magnetic powers, only to find out his powers are useless. Captain Oats – a one-off strip lampooning the real Antarctic explorer Captain Lawrence Oates. An explorer obsessed with pornography and masturbation, he is depicted skiing across the icy wastes, dragging a wardrobe on its own set of skis upon which is hidden his stash of pornographic magazines. However, his efforts to masturbate are continually frustrated by the presence of his companions. Eventually he gives his famous line "I'm just going outside, I might be some time', and ends up in the latrine with his fingers freezing off. Captain Unreliable – A superhero who fails to save the day because of oversleeping, his car breaking down, etc. Careless McKenzie – A strip about a man who does all kinds of jobs in a reckless way. Cilla Blackbeard – a strip portraying Cilla Black as a vicious pirate captain who evades and defeats the Royal Navy, led by Admiral Noel Edmonds and his crew of rival TV presenters. Chadwell O'Cheese and his Cormorants of Futility - A strip about a boy who keeps cormorant birds and tries to save the mayor's balloon which got stuck in a tree, only to have him change his mind and so Chadwell hangs himself from the branch of the tree where the balloon is. Champion the Wonder Arse – Young Chip McCain had befriended a magnificent wild hairy arse named Champion, which roamed the plains around the little town of Windy Creek in Arizona. Charitable Chester – an unintelligent boy who constantly tries to raise money for charity, but either fails or raises very little, leaving his father