hot-air balloon as he could wait for it to land on the ground for the excess passenger to step out. Ramsey gives up, goes out and sends in an NAAFI canteen girl. Remembering Wilson's advice from before, the platoon grab her, knocking over her trolley and pulling her hair, believing it is a wig, to which she responds, "Oh, you're worse than the Regulars!" Told to get rid of the urn, Pike throws it through the (closed) window, where it hits Hodges and the Verger, and empties all over the latter. The next exercise is to get one man over a tall electric fence in half an hour using only equipment provided to them (mostly wooden planks and oil drums). Jones inevitably volunteers to be the man over the fence, and tries to get Walker to catapult him over the fence, but in doing so they break the only decent long length of wood, thus dooming all other attempts to failure. After half an hour the platoon still have not done it, so they plead for more time. They try until midnight, with no success. Ramsey is not impressed the next morning, revealing that he did not award the platoon any stars for the first test and only one star for the second for "perseverance", despite the fact that their constantly setting the alarm off on the fence kept him awake all night. The final exercise is using the Smith Gun to repel an assault by Ramsey's regular troops. The three pieces of ammunition for the gun lies behind the same type of electrified fence the platoon were meant to have learnt how to scale in the previous test. Meanwhile, Hodges and the Verger have finally got the key to Jones' van from Walker, and they rush off to transfer the onions to Hodges' van. The platoon suddenly realise that they could use the onions instead of the ammunition for the Smith Gun. They rush to Hodges' van with Mainwaring demanding the onions "in the name of the King", but is forced to buy them off Hodges. They rush back to the Smith Gun, load and fire the onions at the advancing troops, who retreat in confusion. The platoon are jubilant. Ramsey returns and congratulates Mainwaring, saying he has never seen such initiative displayed by a Home Guard unit and awards them 12 stars outright. They all then rush to