though, eh? It's your life, innit?" "See ya around, yeah?" Fly talk: conversations between flies about humans they have encountered, sometimes mentioning celebrities including Chris Martin and 50 Cent. Home clubber: provides a panel of insight into the latest exploit of an amoral entrepreneur. These cartoons appear weekly in the "Guide" section of The Guardian Weekend: tedious domestic conversations Medieval Kneval: exploits of a medieval stuntman Peanut: the saga of a disbanded pop group and their manager Park: dog excrement related events in a park Dogkiller: novel methods of luring dogs to their death And what do you think?: vox pop interviews Customer Services: Customers returning purchased items to shops with absurd complaints about the item's quality, i.e.: "This CD I bought off you, made me kill someone!" Or: "This kitchen I bought off you, gave me manic depression!" The following recurring cartoons are in the television version only: Gnat burglar: a giant gnat which sucks the entire contents out of things and injects it into other things Underground wolf gobbler: a giant semi-human monster that pops up out of the ground and eats things, bears a passing resemblance to Rupert Murdoch (Actually editor Rob Hill's father Bob) Peace & quiet: a man who seeks peace and quiet in his garden, but is plagued by noise from neighbours and others nearby Barney: a man who periodically turns into a red Incredible Hulk-like monster at the mention of Alan Titchmarsh and during everyday minor frustrations, and causes destruction in a mad rage, followed by embarrassment at what he has done Illegal Alphabet: a large number of human-sized letters that congregate in a field to form rude words (including bizarre portmanteaus such as "pipecock"); they are then ambushed by police. These scenes end with a BBC Radio 4-style voiceover announcing e.g. "That was Illegal Alphabet in 'unsanctioned piss meeting' followed by 'unauthorised shitcasket'"Sneezeman: a little man with a huge nose who is propelled backwards at great speed when he sneezes, usually hurting himself and destroying propertySeawalker''': this has only appeared once so far in the television series — a man with very long legs walks out of the sea onto the beach, whereupon his legs are severed by people playing frisbee Mr Tourette and Alan appear on the covers of Modern Toss booklets and books and on merchandise. The Periodic Table of Swearing A creation inspired by the Periodic Table, The Periodic