"Rome Antics" is a 1975 episode of the British comedy television series The Goodies. Written by The Goodies, with songs and music by Bill Oddie. Plot In Queen Boadicea's Britain, the Ancient Goodies are wearing animal skins, and Graeme's spectacle frames are made from wooden twigs. They live in a small one-room stone house, which is very dark, and, so that they can have extra light in their house, Graeme smashes some of the stones out from a wall with a club to make a hole. The Romans are gradually taking over Britain, and even Tim states that the Romans' woad is better quality than the British woad is. Graeme and Bill are horrified at Tim's approval of Roman woad and refuse to touch the stuff — but Tim puts the Roman woad onto his face, anyway. A Roman ambassador arrives at their house on 'foot', and the Goodies hide from him. The ambassador, however, turns out to be a messenger, and he comments that the Emperor wants the Goodies to go to Rome. The Goodies attempt to ride to Rome on their wooden trandem, but they have trouble with the trandem so they travel to Rome on foot, instead. When they come to a crossroad, with three roads diverging from the one they are on, they are undecided as to which road they should take. However, there is a signpost with the word "Rome" pointing to each of the three roads. Also, the Goodies have a map with the words "All roads lead to Rome", so they decide to take different routes from each other — finally ending up at exactly the same spot as each other, at exactly the same time. In Rome, the Emperor goes onto a balcony to talk to his subjects, but the Romans do not want to listen to him, and throw fruit and vegetables at him (which the Emperor then picks up a cucumber and, looking at the people outside the Palace, he asks them: "Did you throw that? … Cheeky!"). The Emperor meets the Goodies and tells them that he wants them to take over the entertainment. When the Emperor later complains about his life, Tim comments that he would like to be Emperor — so the Emperor hands over the position to Tim (who immediately sets up vacation areas all over Rome and intends to invite people from all over to