If I Were You is a novel by P.G. Wodehouse, first published in the United States on 3 September 1931 by Doubleday, Doran, New York, and in the United Kingdom on 25 September 1931 by Herbert Jenkins, London. The novel was based on a play of the same name written by Wodehouse and Guy Bolton. The story concerns the romantic troubles of young Tony, fifth Earl of Droitwich. Engaged to be married to the beautiful and rich Violet Waddington, Tony finds his life thrown into chaos when his old nurse comes to pay him a visit, revealing a long-kept family secret. Tony departs for London with the resourceful Polly Brown, leaving the ancestral home in the hands of the Socialist barber Syd Price. The Honourable Freddie Chalk-Marshall, the monocle-wearing younger brother of Lord Droitwich, and Freddie's friend Tubby, Lord Bridgnorth, are both members of the Drones Club. Plot Anthony "Tony", fifth Earl of Droitwich, lives at his Worcestershire country house Langley End with his brother the Honourable Frederick "Freddie" Chalk-Marshall, their aunt Lady Lydia Bassinger, and her husband Sir Herbert Bassinger. Tony is engaged to Violet Waddington. The match was essentially arranged by Lady Lydia and Violet's father G. G. Waddington, of Waddington's 97 Soups, for Violet's money and Tony's title. Violet likewise views the engagement in a businesslike way, though Tony is unaware Violet does not love him until Freddie tells him. Bella Price, Tony's old nurse and sister of Tony's butler Theodore Slingsby, visits with her son, Socialist barber shop owner Sydney "Syd" Price, and one of Syd's employees, American manicurist Polly Brown. Freddie wants capital to sell Syd's hair regrowth lotion, Price's Derma Vitalis, invented by Syd's grandfather. Tony notices that Syd resembles the portrait of one of Tony's ancestors. Syd is disrespectful and does not get along with Slingsby. Polly explores the house's grounds and pops out of the bushes suddenly in front of Tony's car; he slams on the brakes, though she is still hit. He carries her into the house, but she is not seriously injured and recovers quickly. Mrs. Price is emotional and reveals the truth about Tony and Syd: she switched them while they were babies. She first confessed twelve years prior, when Tony was sixteen, and at that time, the fourth Earl of Droitwich and Sir Herbert decided to keep it secret. Tony feels Syd is the rightful Lord Droitwich, but