major of contract law and naval engineering. A former naturalized United States citizen, Hagbard supposedly relinquished his citizenship after representing a Mohawk reservation in court against the Bureau of Indian Affairs. Hagbard himself generally told people that he was an engineer building a dam during his time with the Mohawk because he was ashamed at having been a lawyer. He later became a citizen of Equatorial Guinea of which Fernando Poo is a part; having papers referring to this by the time of the Walpurgisnacht rock concert. In the appendix to the trilogy, it mentions that Hagbard builds a starship and leaves to explore Alpha Centauri in the year 1999. Hagbard designed a supercomputer called First Universal Cybernetic Kynetic Ultramicro-Programmer (FUCKUP). Among other things, he used FUCKUP to calculate the chances of World War III starting, which it does by throwing virtual I Ching sticks. His manifesto is called Never Whistle While You're Pissing, containing his Definitions and Distinctions, an anarchist interpretation of capitalist concepts. See also Celine's Laws References Fictional military captains Fictional undersea characters Fictional lawyers Fictional engineers Fictional pirates Fictional outlaws Fictional drug dealers Fictional Norwegian people Fictional Italian people in literature Science fiction characters Literary characters introduced in 1975 Characters in American novels of the 20th century Robert Anton Wilson Fictional people with acquired American citizenship