address a third person or even a nearby object. For slightly less restricted relationships, such as between a man and his father-in-law, avoidance style is used and must be spoken in a slow, soft voice. An extreme case of avoidance behavior is found in the Umpila, in which a man and his mother-in-law may not speak at all in each other's presence. Secret languages Children in these cultures acquire avoidance speech forms as part of their normal language development, learning with whom to use them at a fairly young age. Additionally, a few languages have another style, called a "secret language" or "mystic language", that is taught to boys as part of initiation rituals, and is only used between men. Africa A special system of avoidance vocabulary is traditionally used by married women speaking Highland East Cushitic languages in southwestern Ethiopia. In Kambaata and Sidamo, this system is called ballishsha, and includes physical and linguistic avoidance of parents-in-law. Women who practice ballishsha do not pronounce any words beginning with the same syllable as the name of their husband's mother or father. Instead, they may use paraphrase, synonyms or semantically similar words, antonyms, or borrowings from other languages. Ukuhlonipha is a traditional system of avoidance speech in Nguni Bantu languages of southern Africa including Zulu, Xhosa and Swazi, as well as Sotho. This special speech style and correlating respectful behaviors may be used in many contexts, but is most strongly associated with married women in respect to their father-in-law and other senior male relatives. Women who practice ukuhlonipha may not say the names of these men or any words with the same root as their names. They avoid the taboo words phonologically (substituting sounds) or lexically (replacing words with synonyms, etc.). The ukuhlonipha system also includes avoidance of the names of certain relatives by all speakers and physical avoidance of certain relatives. See also Australian Aboriginal sign languages Minced oath Euphemism Honorifics (linguistics) Pandanus language Pequeninos: fictional race from the post-Ender's Game trilogy; the ambulatory males and females avoid most direct communication, and use separate language styles otherwise. Taboo against naming the dead Notes References External links Lecture notes on Dyirbal illustrating mother-in-law language One of three "LanguageHat" blog posts in the topic Australian Aboriginal languages Taboo Etiquette Sociolinguistics Ritual languages