king ignores. Professor von Proton – The brain behind Borovia's drive to modernisation, he is also totally insane. He once covered the whole country in pig manure as a result of a quest for cheap renewable power. Queen Melissa – Queen of Moridia and incredibly wealthy. According to the programme website, she is rumoured to have been married to King Otto at some stage, but this is not mentioned in the show itself. Her fabulous wealth is a constant source of envy to King Otto. Sorceress Abigail – Cleaner, brighter, female version of Zabobon employed by Queen Melissa. Sir Kiftsgate – The apparent leader of a new breed of knights who know the difference between bowing to a Duke and an Earl but are totally useless at traditional knightly pastimes such as slaying dragons and ogres. Style of humour The Big Knights appeared over the Christmas of 1999/2000, and was lauded for its funny humour and cleverness. Jack and the Beanstalk, for example, is retold from the point of view of a tiny race of people who inhabit Sir Morris' garden. In another episode, an asteroid narrowly misses a new hydroelectric dam, only for the knights' efforts to rescue the princesses to result in the destruction of the dam by Sir Morris hurtling into it from a great height. The theme tune was provided by the Rostov Balalaika orchestra. Cast Alexander Armstrong as Narrator David Rintoul as Sir Boris Brian Blessed as Sir Morris Timothy West as King Otto Prunella Scales as Queen Melissa and Aunt Lily Morwenna Banks as The Old Witch, and as Ethel Minion, the Big Knights' housekeeper Julie Lemieux as Kid Brian Sewell as Sir Kiftsgate Catherine Disher as Kid John Sparkes as Eeuuurgh the Troll, Professor Von Proton, Daring Sir Douglas and Dan Titchy Summer Strallen as Princess Lucy Scarlett Strallen as Princess Loretta Kate Harbour as Mindy Gordon Kennedy as Count Vampire and Ogre Jonathan Kydd as Neptune Kate Robbins as Sorceress Abigail and Aunt Iris Enn Reitel as Wizard Zabobon, Mayor Borozo and Jack Tiny List of episodes The episodes that are correctly listed with air dates were taken from Radio Times and BBC Genome. Knights in Distress (19th December 1999) Ethel and the Imp (19th December 1999) Knight School (21st December 1999) Time Protonosphere (21st December 1999) The Land of Vampires (22nd December 1999) Sir Morris and the Beanstalk (22nd December 1999)