Ask a Policeman is a 1939 British comedy film directed by Marcel Varnel and starring Will Hay, Moore Marriott and Graham Moffatt. The plot sees Will Hay playing a policeman at the Turnbotham Round police force. The force hasn't arrested anybody in the last ten years five weeks and four days so their Chief Constable arrives to decide whether to keep or disband the force. The characters fabricate crimes in order to look useful. They manufacture some fake smuggling, however, then they encounter some real smugglers. The title comes from the popular music hall song "Ask a P'liceman". Plot Sergeant Dudfoot is talking about his life as a policeman at Turnbotham Round (pronounced Torn Bottom Round) during a radio broadcast. His staff Albert and Harbottle (played by Graham Moffatt and Moore Marriott) enter after they have been poaching and Harbottle ruins the broadcast. The next day, Dudfoot receives a letter from the Chief Constable. The letter states that an investigation will shortly take place to see if the police force in Turnbotham Round is necessary at all since no arrests have been made in the ten years that Dudfoot has been a policeman. Dudfoot decides to set a speed trap and stops passing cars down a country lane just outside the village. After stopping and later releasing a man who has neither a licence nor insurance, Dudfoot, Harbottle and Albert stop, question and knock out another driver who is actually the Chief Constable. They drive the unconscious Chief Constable back to the police station and lock him in the cell. Dudfoot then drives the Chief Constable's car into Harbottle's shop window to create the impression that the Chief Constable had just had an accident. However, when the Chief Constable comes round, he fails to be fooled by the 'accident', but the Squire intervenes and claims to have witnessed the accident, which saves Dudfoot, Harbottle and Albert from a lot of trouble. The Chief leaves after Harbottle makes up a story about a Headless Horseman when questioned about his old looks. Dudfoot states that they need to arrest a criminal soon or else their police station will be closed down and Harbottle takes him to the library to look for books on crime. On their way the coastguard stops them and tells them his brother a lighthouse keeper wants a light hung up on top of the police station as his