recalled how horrible and sheep-like he smelled, much to the bother of his classmates and teachers, including Stockhausen. Vivier had various anxiety disorders and extreme nyctophobia; which would manifest in his adulthood as oftentimes giving himself a curfew before night fell, and regularly leaving a bedroom light on when going to sleep. It's unknown how exactly he developed this fear, but biographer Bob Gilmore posits that it originated in his childhood. Vivier would reference his nyctophobia in Lonely Child (1980), with the line, "Don't leave me in the dark, you know I'm afraid." Sexuality and identity Vivier was one of the first openly gay classical composers in history, and many of his compositions — as well as poems written in his teenage years — reflect progressive and homosexual themes. He would comment on, "all the extreme feminist thought, ultimately, that I have. A sensitivity that I have, very feminist, or gay, or, finally, a thinking that goes a little beyond the usual modes that are male/female, dominating/dominated, ... I stay very intimate, my music is very intimate." In the last few months of his life, he had begun working on an opera entitled Tchaïkovski, un réquiem Russe, which would have advanced the theory that famous romantic composer Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky was ordered to commit suicide upon the revelation of his sexual preferences. He announced the project to UNESCO music organisations and consulted Harry Halbreich for help with the libretto, but very little was completed in manuscript form and the opera was never staged. Friends and subsequent historians would comment on how Vivier led a somewhat bohemian lifestyle — he had numerous lovers and homoerotic affairs throughout his life, with the only ones of confirmed identity being Dani Olivieri and Christopher Coe. Vivier was especially attracted to the stereotypically muscular, leather-clad biker. He was known to have been interested in the lifestyles and theatrics of the Hells Angels motorcycle gang, and once wrote of his sadomasochist bent to a friend, "Violence is fascinating, erotic also. You can go each time one step further." He would say in an interview with Quebec LGBT magazine Le Berdache, "I no longer feel sorry for the fact that I am a faggot," reflecting the previous struggles and newfound confidence in accepting his sexuality. It's believed that Vivier was a carrier of the HIV virus at the time of his death, as Christopher Coe had tested