operations officer, is promoted to a squadron commander without ever having flown in a plane, and refuses to see anyone in his office while he is in, instructing Sergeant Towser that people can see him when he's out. The person had to wait in the waiting room until Major Major Major was gone, then the visitor could go right in. Trapped by this convoluted logic, Yossarian watches as individuals in the squadron resort to unusual means to cope; Lt. Milo Minderbinder concocts elaborate black market schemes while crazed Captain "Aarfy" Aardvark commits murder to silence a girl he raped. Lieutenant Nately falls for a prostitute, Major Danby delivers goofy pep talks before every bomb run and Captain Orr keeps crashing at sea. Meanwhile, Nurse Duckett occasionally beds Yossarian. Nately dies as a result of an agreement between Milo and the Germans, trading surplus cotton in exchange for the squadron bombing its own base. While on a pass, Yossarian shares this news with Captain Nately's Whore, who then tries to kill him. Because of Yossarian's constant complaints, Cathcart and Lt. Colonel Korn eventually agree to send him home, promising him a promotion to major and awarding him a medal for the fictitious saving of Cathcart's life; the only requirement being that Yossarian agrees to "like" the Colonels and praise them when he gets home. Immediately after agreeing to Cathcart's and Korn's plan, Yossarian survives an attempt on his life when stabbed by Nately's Whore, who had disguised herself as a janitor. Once recovered, Yossarian learns from the chaplain and Major Danby that Captain Orr's supposed death was a hoax and that Orr's repeated "crash" landings had been a subterfuge for practicing and planning his own escape from the madness. Yossarian is informed that Orr ditched the plane and paddled a rescue raft all the way to Sweden on his last run. Yossarian decides to ditch the deal with Cathcart, leaps out of the hospital window, takes a raft from a damaged plane and, while a marching band practices for the ceremony to award Yossarian the promotion and medal, he hops into the sea, climbs into the raft and starts paddling. Cast Main cast (as appearing in screen credits): Alan Arkin as Captain John Yossarian (Bombardier) Bob Balaban as Captain Orr (Bomber Pilot) Martin Balsam as Colonel Chuck Cathcart (Group Commander, 256th Bomb Group) Richard Benjamin as Major Danby (Group Operations Officer)