"Albuquerque" is the last song of "Weird Al" Yankovic's Running with Scissors album (1999). At 11 minutes and 23 seconds, it is the longest song Yankovic has ever recorded. With the exception of the choruses and occasional bridges, the track is mostly a spoken word narration about a made-up person's life in Albuquerque, New Mexico, after winning a first-class one-way airplane ticket to the city. According to Yankovic, the song is in the style of the "hard-driving rock narrative" of artists like The Rugburns, Mojo Nixon and George Thorogood. Song and lyrics Yankovic set off to write the lengthy song, considering it as a final track for Running with Scissors. The long, meandering story was not expected to be popular and instead Yankovic wanted to compose a song "that's just going to annoy people for 12 minutes", making it feel like an "odyssey" for the listener after making it through to the end. Yankovic described writing the song as "free flowing," writing down a great deal of material he thought would be funny including previous anecdotes he had recorded, and trimming it down to form a lengthy "semi-cohesive story." The lyrics were too long to include in the liner notes for the album (it ends mid-sentence and goes into a written apology by Yankovic), saying that the listener will have to figure them out for themselves. The full lyrics were posted to Yankovic's website. The song starts with Al talking about his childhood with a paranoid mother who force-feeds him sauerkraut until he is "26 and a half" years old. One day while listening to the radio, he hears about a contest in which contestants "correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt". He wins the contest, only being off by 3. The grand prize is a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque. During the flight, 3 of the engines burn out, causing the plane to crash and explode, killing everyone on board, except him since he "had his tray table up and his seat back in the full upright position". He finds himself crawling, while carrying some random things of his belongings, until he reaches his destination. He checks into a Holiday Inn, noting that it is so clean one can eat soup out of the ashtrays, taking his time to relax until someone knocks. Although he asks multiple times who it is, he receives no answer.