after the train crash), they raise a toast to Serge, wherever he may be. In fact, Serge is camping on an off-limits island off the Florida coast, giving history lessons to its population of test monkeys. Johnny Vegas Several of Dorsey's novels features one or more failed attempts by his recurring character, Johnny Vegas, to finally lose his virginity. In this novel: Johnny takes a girl to a mini-golf course, pretending to be a golf pro; they try to have sex in the range cart, but as it makes its way onto the course, it becomes a target for the other golfers, causing the woman to jump out in fear before getting hit on the head with a ball; Johnny tries to have sex with a female book reviewer aboard the Silver Stingray, but when the train derails, both Johnny and the woman are unharmed, but the woman is too shaken to continue. On a speed boat, Vegas takes a woman to the small island. High on cocaine, the woman takes off her clothes and runs onto the island. Just as Johnny follows, the pair are attacked by the test monkeys. Johnny also recalls two failures from his past: Trying to have sex with a Cuban girl in Little Havana, before being interrupted by the FBI's removal of Elián González from his relatives' home nearby. Trying to have sex with a female attorney, who becomes irretrievably distracted by the news of the Supreme Court's ruling against Al Gore in the 2000 presidential election. 2003 American novels Novels by Tim Dorsey