of Game Mechanics A few samples of the HoL core rules are given here. HoL uses two six-sided dice (2d6) for all task and combat resolutions. The Game Master in HoL is known as the HoLmeister. Making Characters The HoL core rulebook doesn't provide a system of character generation, instead offering a set of pre-generated characters, including a young boy with an oversized plasma gun whose survival is completely inexplicable, a pedophile priest, a gamer geek, Elvis Presley, and parodies of two Marvel Comics superheroes, the Silver Surfer and the Incredible Hulk. The Buttery Wholesomeness supplement provides the rules for creating new characters of the player's design. With that book, players pick a Totem that list the basic personality of their character. Picking the "Bush Baby" Totem, for example, creates fast, nimble characters. Those of the "Sloth" Totem are generally smart, but slow and lazy in action. The character creation system is as much of a disturbing joke as the system, full of charts that tell you to roll on other charts, and like the character generation system of Traveller (of which it is a parody), your character can die during creation. Stats Each character in HoL has five Stats: Greymatta: Intellectual capacity (if any) Meat: Physical strength Feets: Dexterity Mouth: Charisma Nuts: Spiritual resolve Stats are typically rated from -2 (terrible) to +10 (nigh godly), though both higher and lower ratings are possible. Skills Each stat has a number of skills associated with it. Given a world of senseless violence, most skills in HoL are simply there to better bash someone's head in, or blast them to oblivion with weapons. Useful skills include: Operate Starship and Chew Gum at the Same Time: A Greymatta skill that says it all. Repair Toasters 'n' Stuff: A Greymatta skill for fixing things. Turn Radios into Howitzers: A Greymatta skill for MacGyvering things. Organize Fundraiser: The Mouth skill based art of coaxing money and other goodies out of people. Make Someone Stop Living With Your Fist: The Meat skill for bashing in skulls while unarmed. Making Sharp Things Go Through Soft Things That Scream and Bleed: A Meat skill. Self-explanatory. Scathing (Ooooo, Big Word!) Sarcasm: A Mouth skill for humiliating your foes into piles of tears. Whining Until You Get What You Want: A Mouth skill that forces victims to give in to your demands. Make Everything You Say Sound More Important Than