not shifting uncounsciously and at first glance to Spanish in conversations with unknown people. Challenges Assertiveness may be practiced in an unbalanced way, especially by those new to the process: "[One] problem with the concept of assertiveness is that it is both complex and situation-specific. ... Behaviors that are assertive in one circumstance may not be so in another". More particularly, while "unassertiveness courts one set of problems, over-assertiveness creates another." Assertiveness manuals recognize that "many people, when trying out assertive behavior for the first time, find that they go too far and become aggressive." In the late 1970's and early 1980's, in the heyday of assertiveness training, some so-called assertiveness training techniques were distorted and "people were told to do some pretty obnoxious things in the name of assertiveness. Like blankly repeating some request over and over until you got your way". Divorced from respect for the rights of others, so-called assertiveness techniques could be psychological tools that might be readily abused: The line between repeatedly demanding with sanctions ("broken record") versus coercive nagging, emotional blackmail, or bullying, could be a fine one, and the caricature of assertiveness training as "training in how to get your own way ... or how to become as aggressive as the next person" was perpetuated. See also Persuasive writing References Further reading Alberti, Robert E. & Emmons, Michael L. Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and Equality in Your Life and Relationships. 2001 Bower, S.A. & Bower, G.H. Asserting Yourself: A Practical Guide for Positive Change. 1991 Davidson, Jeff. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Assertiveness. 1997 Dyer, Wayne W. Pulling Your Own Strings. 1978 Lloyd, Sam R. Developing Positive Assertiveness: Practical Techniques for Personal Success. 2001 Milne Pamela E. The People Skills Revolution: A Step-by-Step Approach to Developing Sophisticated People Skills, Global Professional Publishing 2011 Paterson, Randy J. The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships. 2000 Smith, M. J. When I Say No, I Feel Guilty. 1975 External links Assertiveness – Definition and Elements Relationship Problems: Assertiveness Assertiveness and Assertiveness Training Assertiveness Training Modules Human behavior Interpersonal communication Personal development