both verbal and non-verbal assertiveness skills. As a communication style and strategy, assertiveness is thus distinguished from both aggression and passivity. How people deal with personal boundaries, including their own and those of other people, helps to distinguish between these three concepts. Passive communicators are not likely to try to influence anyone else because they fear social conflict. Because of this fear, passive communicators do not defend their own personal boundaries or ideas, and thus allow aggressive people to abuse or manipulate them. Additionally, they often hold in negative feelings such as anger because they allow this domination to happen. Aggressive people do not respect the personal boundaries of others and thus are liable to harm others by influencing them through personal attacks often taking the form of embarrassment. A person communicates assertively by clearly stating their thoughts and/or feelings in a nonaggressive manner, often in an effort to influence others; doing so in a way that respects the personal boundaries of the other person, or people, involved and avoids negative confrontation. Assertive people are also willing to defend themselves against aggressive people. Communication Assertive communication involves respect for the boundaries of oneself and others. It also presumes an interest in the fulfillment of needs and wants through cooperation. According to the textbook Cognitive Behavior Therapy (2008), "Assertive communication of personal opinions, needs, and boundaries has been ... conceptualized as the behavioral middle ground, lying between ineffective passive and aggressive responses". Such communication "emphasizes expressing feelings forthrightly, but in a way that will not spiral into aggression". If others' actions threaten one's boundaries, one communicates this to prevent escalation. In contrast, "aggressive communication" judges, threatens, lies, breaks confidences, stonewalls, and violates others' boundaries. At the opposite end of the dialectic is "passive communication". Victims may passively permit others to violate their boundaries. At a later time, they may come back and attack with a sense of impunity or righteous indignation. Assertive communication attempts to transcend these extremes by appealing to the shared interest of all parties; it "focuses on the issue, not the person". Aggressive and/or passive communication, on the other hand, may mark a relationship's end, and reduce self-respect. Characteristics Assertive people tend to have the following characteristics: They feel free to express their feelings, thoughts, and desires. They are "also able to initiate and maintain comfortable relationships with [other] people" They know their rights. They have control over