anywhere, some kindness, prayer, dedication in them, from the neon they look black, but maybe they are brown, blue - no! A sad agreement, not reconciliation, but a sad agreement with everything they've lived through! And two hands, naked to their elbows, tightly hold a tall glass of beer. This is suffering. I have seen suffering. It was so close to me - on the table next to me. And how I had wished for it!""I don't know why, but I'd always been immensely happy. I despise those who need a certain cause to be happy - or to fall in love, or to achieve something. Sometimes my happiness was so painful, I've barely fought with it, to survive, not to get exhausted of its maddening power.""I don't want to live blindly...Everything is so cursed, somewhere on the inside, from the depths of life, it smells rotten. But I want to believe there are worthy people, people pure and irreplaceable. If there really are, they must be unhappy..." Early death Dubarova committed suicide via sleeping pills on December 3, 1979, and died the following day December 4, 1979, at the age of 17. After her mysterious death, many rumours are spread. The most popular one is that The Young Communist League organized regularly "voluntary" work in a beer factory. Petya was accused that she purposefully had broken a machine's counter which counted the beer bottles. She could not prove her innocence, and could not bear the injustice. She left a note that says: "Измамена (Deceived)Младост (Youth)Прошка (Forgiveness)Сън (Sleep)Спомен (Memory)Зад стените на голямата къща (Behind the walls of the big house)ТАЙНА (SECRET)" According to her English teacher, the day after her funeral, Petya's school woke up to walls covered in graffiti such as "Mamka vi!" (F*ck you/Motherf*ckers!) and "Teachers murderers!" (near the teachers' room). The local poet Veselin Andreev partially accuses the teachers as well, by quoting Dubarova's mother's words at the funeral: "They killed my child!". Selected works "Az i Moreto" (The Sea and Me) (1980) "Lyastovitsa. Stihove i Razkazi" (Swallow. Poems and short stories'') (1987) References External links Petya Dubarova biography at slovo.bg Bulgarian women poets 1962 births 1979 deaths Writers from Burgas 20th-century Bulgarian poets 20th-century Bulgarian women writers 20th-century Bulgarian writers Suicides in Bulgaria 1979 suicides