bought from him. Urquart reacts by punching him in the nose and is effectively sacked from the team instantly. Later that night, Tonkinson is reconciled with Bassett and the two share a drink, which leads to them dancing drunkenly on a bar top. When Lightfoot gets on the bar to coerce Mike down, the pair both fall off in full view of the local press. The morning after his drunken incident, Bassett is involved in a press conference at which he is expected to step down from the managerial position. When he announces that he is carrying on, the press begin to get hostile and Bassett responds by reciting of "If—" by Rudyard Kipling, which he finishes by saying that "England will be playing 4–4–fucking–2" and storms out. Following this, England need to beat Argentina to get through to the second round. Reporter Tommo (Phill Jupitus) proclaims that if England win he will quit his job and become a bin man. In a close game in which England are the better team, they eventually succeed when Tonkinson dribbles past the Argentinian defence and blasts a shot that deflects off the crossbar. Tonkinson then punches the ball into the net – a reference to the hand of God goal from Argentina's Diego Maradona which helped to knock England out of the 1986 World Cup. As the full-time whistle sounds and the England team celebrate, Bassett heads down the tunnel telling Doddsy he's going to call his wife. It is later seen in a series of newspaper articles that England advanced to the knock-out stages, where they beat Romania and France, with Rufus Smalls breaking his goal drought and scoring a hat-trick against Romania to become England's top goalscorer, with 52 international goals. They eventually lost to host nation Brazil in the semi-finals. Tommo Thompson is also seen briefly working as a binman following his statement during the final press conference. On their plane journey back to Britain, Bashir says to Bassett that England had equalled their best performance since they won in 1966 (in 1990, England finished fourth). Bassett replies that he is ready to move aside and let somebody else take the job. As the plane doors open at the airport, the team depart to a cheering crowd, where a surprised but happy Bassett confirms to the waiting press that he will remain as manager. Cast Main cast Ricky Tomlinson