mental and psychological wellbeing, they visit a sports science institute but half the team are injured in the process, leaving Bassett with selection issues over his next game against Belgium. In a mix-up, his secretary accidentally calls up to the squad two players called Benson and Hedges, aging players who are playing in the Third Division. When querying who they are, Mike realises she has mistaken the brand of cigarettes Benson and Hedges as the names of players. Bassett is mocked in a press conference but claims he called them up intentionally. England lose the game 3–0, leading to pressure being placed on his family by angry supporters. For the last qualification game, England need to beat Slovenia in order to qualify and with Tonkinson missing due to a drunken car crash, they struggle to a 0–0 draw in which captain Gary Wackett (Geoff Bell) is sent off and Rufus Smalls (Robbie Gee) misses a penalty. After the game, they learn that Luxembourg have beaten Turkey 2–0 which sees them go through on goal difference. The team head off to record the official England World Cup song with girl group Atomic Kitten and "hellraiser" Keith Allen. England travel to Brazil for the finals but on arriving at the airport they start brawling with the Scottish and Irish teams. A difficult group stage sees them on the verge of heading home after they can only manage a goalless draw with unfancied Egypt before losing 4–0 to Mexico. To make matters worse, Bassett receives a phone call from Karine at home in England, informing him that Jason was bullied at school for the Egypt draw, resulting in his eyebrows being shaved off. One of England's training sessions is ruined after Urquart locks the footballs in his Opel and goes shopping. Wackett is then sent home for taking part in hooliganism and Tonkinson accidentally gets involved in a drunken tryst with a transsexual and is also booted from the team. During a team meeting the next morning, Urquart begins to praise the Mexicans by getting the English players to cheer "three cheers for Ramirez"; this angers Mike, who proclaims "We're England", saying that the country hates him and that his wife is about to leave him. Urquart, unhappy with Mike's tone, asks him to get more off his chest, which leads to Mike calling him a small-minded bigot and criticising the car he