Percy takes the hat and goes to see Elizabeth. She claims his hat is too small, but Percy has faith in Bodmin's hats and is certain she is wrong. Appalled by her criticism of Bodmin's hat, Percy leaves. Elsewhere, Diana says Nelson's hat is too large. Nelson thinks it is impossible for any hat from Bodmin not to fit and questions Diana's eyesight. They argue, and Nelson bitterly goes to the Drones Club, where he finds Percy. They agree that girls do not understand hats, though Nelson tries to defend Elizabeth, whom he has always admired, and Percy defends Diana, whom he has always thought highly of. They leave the club, each taking his hat from the cloak-room. Nelson tries talking with Elizabeth to help her reconcile with Percy, but he becomes romantically interested in her. She praises his hat, which she says fits him well. The same occurs with Percy and Diana. Eventually, Elizabeth becomes engaged to Nelson, and Diana gets engaged to Percy. The Crumpet and Bean are happy for the couples but cannot understand why Elizabeth and Diana perceived Percy and Nelson's hats differently. The Bean's nurse suggests that the delivery boy got the hats mixed, and then each man got the correct hat from the club cloak-room; the Crumpet finds this idea ingenious but unlikely, and instead believes it was somehow due to the incomprehensible Fourth Dimension, which the Bean agrees with. "Goodbye to All Cats" US: Cosmopolitan, November 1934 (as "Good-by to All Cats") UK: Strand, December 1934 (as "Good-bye to All Cats") The title of the story is a pun on the title of Robert Graves's 1929 book Good-Bye to All That. Plot At the Drones Club, a kitten wanders into the smoking-room, upsetting Freddie Widgeon. A knowledgeable Crumpet tells an Egg and a Bean that Freddie cannot stand cats. The Crumpet explains by narrating the following story. Freddie is courting Dahlia Prenderby and hopes to marry her. He goes with Dahlia to the Prenderby country house, Matcham Scratchings, to meet her parents, Sir Mortimer Prenderby and Lady Prenderby. They have many cats and dogs. A tortoiseshell cat stands on and kneads a shirt Freddie left on his bed, annoying Freddie. He flings the cat off the balcony, and the cat ends up hitting Sir Mortimer. Freddie apologizes but Sir Mortimer is not pleased about being hit. At dinner with Dahlia, her parents, and