to Walker ... a contradiction in terms, really." "Hay is baled up on the boundary line." On his first meeting with Eddie McGuire: "Ed had an aura. I remember he asked his personal assistant, "Have you seen the letter opener?" and she replied, "It's his day off." I was impressed." "Four Blues had a chance to clear that ball. It's what the French call esprit de goof." On the "Shinboner of the Century": Getting past Glenn Archer is still like trying to tiptoe past Mayfair and Park Lane with hotels. On the Kangaroos' pint-sized Brent Harvey: He might be the only guy in the competition whose feet appear in his driver licence photo. On Harvey again: Three Collingwood players on top of Harvey, pleading to the umpire. I'm not sure he had prior opportunity but he's been pinged anyway! That may have been the ultimate kangaroo court. On Essendon's Courtney Johns: I remember when he debuted he had the haircut of a 400-game veteran. Unfortunately his game didn't gel as well as his hair. When a player was caught between former North Melbourne player Anthony Rock and the boundary fence: "Nasty situation. He's caught between a Rock and a hard place." Regarding Adelaide midfielder Rory Sloane: "It's like finding fault with Miss Venezuela." A line delivered after West Coast Eagles player Peter Wilson booted an incredible goal in the 1992 grand final: "Like a cork in the ocean over his head." On Heath Shaw's famous smother on Saints skipper Nick Riewoldt in the 2010 Grand Final: "He came up behind him like a librarian! He never heard him!" On Collingwood forward Anthony Rocca's turning circle: "Rocca comes to it ... well, Rocca, like my wife driving—needs a fair bit of lane." Referring to Collingwood's Jarryd Blair, who was caught underneath some opposition players: "There's a Blair in there." "In for the Cats today: David and Steve Johnson. Who better to patch up a line-up than Johnson & Johnson?" "Ball in dispute... Lamb, now Yze, the meat in the sandwich. Really, Lamb should be in the sandwich!" "Farmer may have an injury to his calf... hmmm, a farmer with a calf problem." "Collingwood know they're in trouble; it's like being in the bathtub with the Loch Ness monster!" "Spida had both his legs taken out from under him—leaving only the other six to balance on." On Dean Solomon: "Solomon not quite