Stevie J was Stevie J." "Metropolis, kicking to the city end." Referring to Melbourne player Adem Yze: "Remember the name: Y-Z-E—terrific young player; bad Scrabble hand." "Barlow to Bateman. The Hawks are attacking alphabetically ..." Referring to Port Adelaide player Josh Carr (#9) and his brother/opponent, Fremantle's Matthew Carr (who was bumped by Josh and who also wore #9): "How's that! A two-Carr collision, both with the same rego!" Upon seeing Josh Carr approached by a tackler: "Carr—covered by a third party." On a collision between Matthew Carr and former Docker Trent Croad: "Carr was just poleaxed by his own teammate. Does that qualify as Croad rage?" "Cousins runs away from Carr... not for the first time." (A reference to Ben Cousins running away from a booze bus on foot.) "Parker to Carr ... Sounds like a match made in heaven!" "Walker to Carr. That's progress for you." "Carr drives along the wing..." "Carr...parked alongside the boundary." "Carr in heavy traffic." "Carr drives into space." "It was like a self-saucing pudding. Players just waiting for the whistle." Talking about Matthew "Spider" Burton—once the tallest player in the AFL, at 210 cm—describing him as having been born on 19 and 20 May. Well, certainly Matthew [Richardson] thinks he's the best player on their list at the moment ... Mind you, that's a bit like being the best centre half-forward in Czechoslovakia." A Geelong player was pinged for holding the ball by pulling the ball in under a tackle; Cometti: "Holding the ball. The umpire saw what the Cat just dragged in." After Hawthorn's 11-game losing streak against Geelong (dubbed the "Kennett curse") came to an end: "Get the hearse for the curse!" Regarding Brent Guerra, who did hair-loss advertisements for The Hair Institute: "Brent hates losing, and that extends to his hair." In reference to redhead Cameron Ling coming off the ground due to an injury: "Ling's running off the ground a little bit gingerly." "There is no footy god—only a footy accountant." "Before this game, I would have bet the mortgage on the Western Bulldogs, but I guess this shows that I may join the ranks of the homeless." The ball is passed to the 202-centimetre ruckman David Hille of Essendon, with David Rodan of Richmond trying to spoil. Cometti: "He gave it his best, but that is a big Hill to climb." "Scotty Cummings alone in the square, jumping