up and down and waving his arms like they're playing 'My Sharona'." Jason Gram had his shorts ripped off, to which Cometti quipped: "It's a stripper-gram!" Regarding the work of Western Bulldogs star Tony Liberatore as he burrowed into a pack: "Liberatore went into that last pack optimistically and came out misty optically." After Essendon's Nathan Lovett-Murray had evaded a couple of tacklers: "Lovett went one way, Murray went the other and they were left chasing the hyphen!" Rhyce Shaw passes the ball to Heath Shaw, who promptly turns it over after a moment of indecisiveness. Cometti: "Rhyce Shaw, Heath Shaw, unsure." Just wonderful courage from Paul Hasleby. He bounced off one guy and into the path of another. If you watch that replay backwards I bet it says, 'Paul is dead'. On Adelaide defender Nathan Bassett: Bassett's my man. He never takes a breather. If he was a postman I reckon he'd finish his round in 20 minutes, stopping only to bite a few dogs. On the weather: "Plenty of cloud about. And for anyone who's ever called a plumber, that's a rare sight—the moon is completely covered." On Heath and Rhys Shaw's tackling efforts: Mitch Hahn found himself girt by Shaws. On Jude Bolton's endurance: They've finally got Jude Bolton off the ground, and he's heaving like a crazed tuba player. About the AFL's newest outpost: "In Dubai, it's Abu Dhabi, or as we say in Perth, Abu Derby." On Collingwood youngster Ben Reid, whom Cometti noted had played only four games and already had been to Arizona, Johannesburg and Dubai: "So at that rate, if he plays 200, he will rival Phileas Fogg" (of Around the World in Eighty Days fame). In reference to Brendan Fevola's gambling addiction: "Fevola, Betts... That's the name, not the verb." Regarding former Melbourne ruckman Darren Jolly and forward Brad Green: "Jolly gets it to Green. Where's the giant?" "There's Koutoufides—more vowels than possessions today." Adelaide, a miracle at Etihad! At a Sunday afternoon with the dome closed! They're home and hosed!" "So it's back to the old drawing board. Obviously a luxury that the guy who invented the drawing board didn't have." On Brisbane midfielder Simon Black: "He's like Diogenes or O. J. Simpson—he's always searching." On an errant shot at goal by former Richmond defender Darren Gaspar: Ahh, Gaspar the unfriendly post." On the eternal struggles of the tall defender: