nut. She later met and married Martin Shitely, who took her name. Carol is now an English teacher at Bromwell. She is in her 30s, wears organic clothes, and reads the Guardian. Carol understands people of all races and creeds except her husband Martin. She is discontented with the lack of intimacy and romance in her marriage; this is probably why she competes with Melanie Dickson for the attention of handsome men. She usually responds to Martin doing something stupid or wrong with "Oh, Martin, you idiot." Carol's Bromwell High file number is 287. She is voiced by Doon Mackichan (from Smack the Pony). Melanie Dickson Miss Dickson graduated from the University of Pudwacker Salt Flats with a First Class Honours degree in Chemical Biology. She immediately gained bar work in London and very quickly rose up the ranks to become Bar Manager of "Alcoholiday", an Aboriginal-themed bar in London's Leicester Square. She moved to Bromwell High thinking it was another themed bar, but within a year she realised that she was Head of Sciences at an inner-city school. She is an attractive but very rude woman who shows a lack of proper teaching skills. She often taunts and teases people who aren't as pretty as she is, especially Carol. Originally from Australia, Miss Dickson now teaches all the subjects at Bromwell that nobody else will (History/Science/Music/Etc.) - very poorly. She seldom cares about the subjects she teaches and even chain smokes during class. She competes with Carol Jackson for the affections of handsome men, mainly because she has an insatiable libido. Melanie's Bromwell High file number is 349. She is voiced by Tracy-Ann Oberman. Mr. Phillips Mr. Phillips grew up in the quiet, crack-addled village of Chomping Frenum on England's west coast. He went missing at age 10, after chasing a worm into the forest. He strayed into an army firing range and was hit by three medium-sized surface-to-air missiles. Fortunately they passed straight through his skull, but he lost 80 percent of his brain matter. On his way to an interview for a post at Bromwell High, Mr. Philips was caught in the crossfire of a gang-war shoot-out and lost 80 percent of his remaining brain matter. Mr. Philips is Bromwell High's Physical Education teacher. He is often unaware of his surroundings or current situation, and is therefore utterly ineffective as a teacher. Iqbal refers to him as