column, what then? JJ gives him Kello's number. While JJ performs his old vaudeville routine on the telethon ("Don't Look Now"), Sidney calls Kello and sets up Dallas to be brutally and lethally beaten. Sidney informs JJ the deed is done. JJ announces to America that, while he's away in England, Sidney will write the column. Sidney's at the pinnacle ("At The Fountain" (reprise)). Susan interrupts his victory. She tells him Dallas has been found. Sidney won’t let her miss that boat. JJ waits impatiently at the dock. Susan refuses to get on board. She produces Rita as a witness who saw Sidney plant drugs on Dallas and signal Kello for the attack. JJ feigns shock that Sidney would do such a thing. Otis Elwell appears. Susan has called him with a story. Sidney and JJ are terrified. The story is that she and Dallas are going to marry and leave New York. Yes, Dallas is alive. Otis goes, grateful for the scoop. Susan tells JJ that he’ll never see her again. If he ever comes after her, she’ll tell every columnist in town what JJ and Sidney did to Dallas. “I always wondered which of your enemies would bring you down. I never dreamed it could be me.” She leaves. Sidney urges JJ to get on the boat. JJ wants Sidney to get rid of Rita. Rita knows too much. “Do it and the column is yours.” Sidney rebels. Sidney will take Rita to a place where nobody ever heard of JJ. JJ smiles. No such place exists. Sidney runs. He sees hungry press agents, desperate to get in the column, the hysterical crowds in the nightclubs, hoping for a mention in JJ. Sidney is finally free of it all. Kello and his goons appear. They surround Sidney. JJ goes back to work, preparing his next column ("Finale"). The lead item announces the death of Sidney Falco in a vicious robbery. But Sidney would be happy. He made today's column. Cast and characters Musical numbers Source: Playbill Act I "The Column" - J.J., Sidney, and Ensemble "I Could Get You in J.J." - Sidney "I Cannot Hear the City" - Dallas "Welcome to the Night" - J.J., Sidney, and Ensemble "Laughin' All the Way to the Bank" - Club Zanzibar Singer "At the Fountain" - Sidney "Psalm 151" † - J.J. and Sidney "Don't Know Where You Leave Off"