fourth option, the one he is taking, is the one of just holding on; living “despite the absurdity of it,” because he is not willing “or able” to do anything else. So it seems “utterly hopeless” - at least “without God”. So Tolstoy turns to the question of God's existence: After despairing of his attempts to find answers in classic philosophical arguments for the existence of God (e.g. the Cosmological Argument, which reasons that God must exist based on the need to ascribe an original cause to the universe), Tolstoy turns to a more mystical, intuitive affirmation of God's presence. He states that as soon as he said "God is Life," life was once again suffused with meaning. This faith could be interpreted as a Kierkegaardian leap, but Tolstoy actually seems to be describing a more Eastern approach to what God is. The identification of God with life suggests a more monistic (or panentheistic) metaphysic characteristic of Eastern religions, and this is why rational arguments ultimately fall short of establishing God's existence. Tolstoy's original title for this work indicates as much, and his own personal "conversion" is suggested by an epilogue that describes a dream he had some time after completing the body of the text, confirming that he had undergone a radical personal and spiritual transformation. History The book was originally titled An Introduction to a Criticism of Dogmatic Theology, as the first part of a four-part work that also included A Criticism of Dogmatic Theology, The Four Gospels Harmonized and Translated (the basis for The Gospel in Brief), and What I Believe (also published in English as My Religion and My Faith). The first attempt at its publication took place in 1882 (Russkaya Mysl, No 5), but Tolstoy's work was removed virtually from the whole edition of the journal by Eastern Orthodox Church censorship. The text was later published in Geneva (1884), in Russia as late as 1906 (Vsemirnyj Vestnik, No 1). References External links English Text A Confession (Maudes Translation), from Wikisource A Confession, from RevoltLib.com A Confession, from Marxists.org A Confession, from TheAnarchistLibrary.org English Audio 1882 non-fiction books Books by Leo Tolstoy Russian non-fiction books