not just two inept doormen, but feared gangsters called 'The Phoenix Twins'. After a fight with a camp inmate called Pepe, Max and Paddy are soon confronted by the main man of their wing, Raymond The Bastard (played by Everal Walsh), who is also Pepe's boyfriend. Raymond is the worse of Paddy's nightmares when Paddy drops the soap, and is eagerly commented about his manhood as "Stunning, like a young Burt Reynolds!". Raymond has heard about the pair's alleged big-money heists and robberies, and wants a cut of their money. Max agrees just to get Raymond off their backs and receive preferential treatment, including access to luxury chocolates and Sky+ . Soon, their old Phoenix Club boss Brian Potter (played by Kay) unexpectedly comes to visit, along with a cake, announcing that he's organising several events to help speed up their release. They reject him, not wanting a high-profile campaign ruining their chances of release. Potter fails to listen, and the whole wing later see him on the news talking about 'the doormen' Max and Paddy: thus revealing their stories as lies. A big fight is about to break out between Raymond and his henchmen against Max and Paddy. However, the fight is prevented by a prison officer telling Max and Paddy to come with him. The episode concludes with Tina, Max's ex-love, admitting to the authorities that Daniel is actually Max's son and he was acting under stress when he stole the bus. The pair are released, having their sentences reduced to community service, and get revenge on Brian Potter by informing the Home Office that there is an outbreak of anthrax at his club. We find out in this episode that Max's full name is Maxwell Bygraves, a jokey reference to the veteran British entertainer Max Bygraves. This episode had 3.16m viewers. Episode 5 In the West Country, Paddy is driving the van when he accidentally runs over and kills a cow walking in the road. Tracing the cow to a nearby farm, the pair head off to find the farmer and claim expenses for the damage to the van. They come across what they assume is him: a mentally unstable, dirty old man in a field, who instead of giving them compensation money sells them a breeder pig for £100. He claims they can sell it on at market for around £300. When Max and Paddy reach