teacher intensely scolding her, causing her classmates to erupt in laughter. "Oh, God, it sounds so stupid. But being a kid you're just so frightened... I never talked about it, so it stayed with me all those years. I felt not deserving, not good enough... that's still the way I feel about myself sometimes", she declared. As a child, she managed discomfort by speaking to her animals, later turning to overeating as an anesthetic, causing fluctuations in weight. Jackson said, "I began to realize that whenever something really painful was going on, I would eat, and that's how I would run away from it. But I would just be creating another problem in another area instead of just dealing with that pain". Jackson developed body dysmorphia as a response to ridicule, stating, "I'd look in the mirror and hate myself. I'd sit and cry. It was so hard for me to look at myself and find something that I liked. Not just physically, but something that was good in me". She also inflicted self-harm, banging her head against the wall when feeling unattractive. She traced her fragility to her abusive marriage to recording artist James DeBarge when she was 16 years old. Jackson recalled, "It all has to do with very low self esteem. Especially going into a relationship like that very young... someone telling you things like, 'no one is ever going to want you again, you should be happy here with me.'" Attempting to alter his behavior and drug addiction, she explained, "I learned the hard way that you can't change a person." Recalling her divorce, she revealed, "There came a point when I finally said, 'You know what? I just don't care what happens.' I had to do what I wanted to but had been too afraid to. And at that point I didn't care if I got my brains beat out. I just went ahead and did it. And I got my ass kicked for it. But I'm happy that I did it, or I don't think I would be here today". Her self-hatred accelerated into raging cycles of bulimia and anorexia, repressing the issue until questioned. Jackson said, "people say to me: `Okay, you've got to start eating more. You're too thin.' But when you look in the mirror, you see something totally different." She continued, "I had swung so far in one direction, I