And who the hell drew that dick on the blackboard?" The teacher asks the class to produce a word that starts with the letter "A": Vovochka happily raises his hand and says "Arse!" ("Жопа" in the original) / The teacher, shocked, responds "For shame! There's no such word!" / "That's strange," says Vovochka thoughtfully, "the arse exists, but the word doesn't!" (Actually, the phrase is attributed to Ivan Baudouin de Courtenay, linguist and lexicographer.) Vasily Ivanovich Vasily Ivanovich Chapayev, a Red Army hero of the Russian Civil War, in the rank of Division Commander, was featured in a 1934 biopic. The most common topics are the war with the monarchist White Army, Chapayev's futile attempts to enroll into the Frunze Military Academy, and the circumstances of Chapayev's death (officially, he was gunned down by the Whites and drowned while attempting to flee across the Ural River after a lost battle). Chapayev is usually accompanied by his aide-de-camp Petka (Петька, "Pete"), as well as Anka the Machine-Gunner (Анка-пулемётчица), and political commissar Furmanov, all based on real people. (Being well known in Russian popular culture, Chapayev, Petka, and Anka were featured in a series of Russian adventure games released in the late 1990s and 2000s.) "I flunked my history exam, Petka. They asked me who Caesar was, and I said he's a stallion from our 7th cavalry squadron." / "It's all my fault, Vasily Ivanovich! While you were away, I reassigned him to the 6th!" Chapayev, Petka, and Anka, in hiding from the Whites, are crawling plastoon-style across a field: Anka first, then Petka, and Chapayev is last. / Petka says to Anka, "Anka, you lied about your proletarian descent! Your mother must have been a ballerina – your legs are so fine!" / Chapayev responds, "And your father, Petka, must have been a plowman – the furrow you're leaving behind you is so deep!" Petka shout to Chapayev "Vasily Ivanovich, our Anka is crawling to the Whites!" / Chapayev replies, "Don't shoot, Petka! She is our bacteriological weapon!" On the occasion of an anniversary of the October Revolution, Furmanov gives a political lecture to the rank and file soldiers: "...And now we are on our glorious way to the shining horizons of Communism!" / "How did it go?", Chapayev asks Petka afterwards. "Exciting!... but unclear. What the hell is a horizon?" / "See Petka, it is a line you may see