2 wieners... [he hears whispers all around: "Look at the rich guy!"] ...and 17 forks, please?" Drinking A very rumpled student peers into an exam room and slurs at the examiner: "Pp-proffessosssor, wou'd you al-low a drunk student tt-o tt-ake the exam?..." / The professor sighs and says, "Sure, why not?" / The rumpled student turns around and slurs into the hallway: "G-guys, c-carry 'im in." Study Also, there are a number of funny student obsessions such as zachyotka (a book of grade transcripts, carried by every student), khalyava (a chance of getting something (in this context, good or acceptable grades) without any effort), and getting a stipend for good grades. Jokes about student life (filled with relationships, alcohol, and a permanent lack of any money) are common. A large number of jokes are about an exam: these are usually a dialogue between the professor and the student, based on a set of questions written on a bilet (a small sheet of paper, literally "ticket"), which the student draws at random in the exam room, and is given some time to prepare answers. Many jokes refer to students trying to pass an exam with little or no knowledge at all (khalyava as mentioned above). Students are asked how quickly they can learn the Japanese language. American student: "I need 6 months and I will pass any exam!". German student: "I think I can do it in three months!". Russian student is asked while he's smoking outside: "Hmmm... Do you have a textbook? / Yes? / Then let me finish the cigarette and we're good to go to that exam." A professor enters the lectorium on the exam day. "Alright slackers, a question for A grade, what's my name? (angry yelling in the back rows) Alright, a B grade question, what's the color of the handbook cover? (angry yelling) Fine, a C grade question: what's the discipline the exam is on? / We are all gonna fail if he keeps this up!" Year one exam: students pull out cheat sheets the moment their professor looks away, but hide them when he turns back. Year two exam: students pull out cheat sheets the moment the professor looks away, he turns back, they continue writing, he coughs and they hide those. Year three exam: the professor looks at students with cheat sheets, the students cough, the professor turns away. Other jokes use the