why did you buy a fridge, if it's so cold on the tundra?" "Why, is −50° Celsius outside yaranga, is −10° inside, is −5° in fridge – warm place, odnako!" A Chukcha comes into a shop and asks: "Do you have color TVs?" "Yes, we do." "Give me a green one." A Chukcha applies for membership in the Union of Soviet Writers. He is asked what literature he is familiar with. "Have you read Pushkin?" "No." "Have you read Dostoevsky?" "No." / "Can you read at all?" The Chukcha, offended, replies, "Chukcha not reader, Chukcha writer!" (The last phrase has become a cliché in Russian culture, hinting at happy or militant ignorance.) Chukchi do not miss their chance to offer a retort. A Chukcha and a Russian geologist go hunting polar bears. They eventually track one down. Seeing the bear, the Chukcha shouts, "Run!" and flees. The Russian shrugs, calmly raises his gun, and shoots the bear. "Russian hunter, bad hunter!", the Chukcha exclaims. "Ten kilometres to the yaranga, you haul this bear yourself!" Chukchi, due to their innocence, often see the inner truth of situations. A Chukcha returning home from Moscow is met with great excitement and interest from his friends. "What is socialism like?" "Oh," begins the Chukcha in awe, "There, everything is for the betterment of man... I even saw that man himself!" (This references the Communist slogan Всё для блага человека!, "Everything for the betterment of man"). Ukrainians Ukrainians are depicted as rustic, stingy, and inordinately fond of salted salo (pork back fat); their accent, which is imitated, is perceived as funny. A Ukrainian tourist is questioned at international customs: "Are you carrying any weapons or drugs?" "What are drugs?" "They make you get high." "Yes, salo." "But salo is not a drug." "When I eat salo, I get high!" A Ukrainian is asked, "Can you eat a kilo of apples?" "Yes, I can." "Can you eat two kilos of apples?" "I can." "And five kilos?" "I can." "Can you eat 100 kilos?!" "What I cannot eat, I will nibble!" Ukrainians are perceived as having a grudge against Russians (derided as Moskali by Ukrainians). The Soviet Union has launched the first man into space. A Hutsul shepherd, standing on top of a hill, shouts over to another shepherd on another hill to tell him the news. "Mykola!" "Yes!" "The moskali have flown to space!" "All of