This is a list of all main and recurring characters of BBC television's sitcom 'Allo 'Allo! that ran from 1982 until 1992 and 85 episodes. Overview René Artois René Francois Artois (Gorden Kaye) – The local café proprietor who, whilst trying to remain impartial, has been dragged into the war by both sides. The Germans are threatening to shoot him if he does not secretly hide stolen valuables; the Resistance is using his café as a safe-house for shot-down British airmen; and on top of that, he is trying to keep his passionate love affairs with the café waitresses secret from his wife. Whenever his wife Edith catches him in the arms of another woman, René invariably responds with the phrase "You stupid woman! Can you not see that..." followed by a convoluted explanation, which Edith always believes, leading to an apology from her. René does not care much for his mother-in-law, often referring to her as a "silly old bat!" Each episode starts with scenery, costumes or props from the end of the previous episode, and (usually) René opens each episode with a monologue to the camera starting "You may be wondering why..." and proceeding to describe the situation he finds himself in, and to summarise the previous episode. Rene's only love is for his waitress/mistress Yvette Carte Blanche. Edith Artois Edith Melba Artois (née La Fan) (Carmen Silvera) – René's wife, and the café's resident cabaret performer. However, her singing is so bad and tuneless (as René is once heard to comment: "my wife, who cannot carry a tune in a bucket...") that the cafe's customers stick cheese in their ears to block out the noise. Whilst René views her with disdain, she is also the subject of much romantic wooing by the local undertaker Monsieur Alfonse and the Italian Captain Alberto Bertorelli. Occasionally however there are hints of affection between the two, notably when reminiscing about their courtship. When Edith recreates their honeymoon dinner for their wedding anniversary Rene tells her "I don't deserve you" with apparent sincerity. Whenever she finds René embracing one of the waitresses, she usually asks "René! What are you doing 'olding that servant girl in your arms?". While René is constantly fêted as the 'hero of the resistance' it is usually Edith who comes up with the solution to any problem. Fanny La Fan Madame Fanny La Fan (Rose Hill) – Edith's